Entenmann’s Little Bites – A Dark Comedy Product

Is Entenmann’s kidding? Have you seen this product?

I hope you haven’t purchased Little Bites unless you’re trying to feed your hamster.

Two, count them, two tiny muffins in each pouch that a hamster could fit in one cheek pouch.

A net weight of 6.6 ounces for Eight packs of muffins. That’s sixteen muffins. That’s .4 ounces per muffin. Four-tenths of an ounce of muffin.

And they advertise on the box, “Still 8 packs in a new smaller box.” These muffins are so tiny and insignificant you could almost wear one as a belly-button ornament. If they were packaged appropriately parents could see that Little Bites is a rotten product. If they were packaged appropriately you would pick up the box and say, “Why should I buy a box with nothing in it?”

The ones we bought were blueberry (Real Blueberries!) at $4.29 a box; that’s an incredible savings at only $1.53 an ounce! Do they think we’re insane. $1.53 for an ounce of muffin? I knew gold had gone up but I’m going to invest all my money in a muffin mine. At this price that’s $24.48 a pound.
Did you know for that price you could buy lobster?

A delicious apple in nature’s own packing is almost one-half pound of goodness for at most fifty cents to one dollar.

A single blueberry is almost bigger than these muffins.

And when you open the box, what do you find? Industrial strength wrapping. I’m absolutely, positively sure Entenmann’s is paying more for the packing and clever design than they do for the product inside. If there’s a nuclear war the roaches who survive won’t be able to chew their way into a package of Little Bites. Thank goodness.

Do they think we’re stupid?

And Entenmann’s clever verbiage on the box makes it look like a health food. No High Fructose corn syrup! O grams of transfat! Made with real blueberries! But if you look on the box the first ingredient is sugar(by law the ingredients have to be listed by quantity). Then, if you read on the “nutrition facts” you see that 35 calories out of every 100 calories are fat. Fat! The product is more than one-third fat!

Do you know how much fat there is in an apple?

If you are a label reader, the label will fool you because the muffins are so tiny it obscures what you’re buying.


Entenmann’s is so audacious they print the following statements on the box:
1. Little Bites are the right size for the whole family to enjoy(!!!)
2. The packaging is the right size and so saves energy and paper which benefits the earth.(!!!!!) – There’s so much plastic in the muffin wrappings that if you’re ever lost at sea you could build a life raft from just the plastic.

I do commend them on recommending that you recycle the box.

So if you want to feed yourself and your children sugar and fat, I suggest you lay in a big supply of Entenmanns Little Bites. They’re healthy and nutritious – almost.

Here we are during hard times giving it to AIG employees for getting bonuses; why don’t they give it to Entenmann’s for putting out a bogus product designed to confuse parents into feeding their children fat and sugar.

And why during hard times are they selling muffins for $24.48 a pound?