Death on the Installment Plan

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Insurance is death on the installment plan. – Philip Slater




Insurance is the guarantee that, no matter how many necessities a person has to forgo all through life, death was something to which he could look forward. – Fred Allen



Progress means taking risks, for you can’t steal home and keep your foot on third base. – Herbert V. Prochnow



Being grown up means we can have our own way – at our expense. – Hal Rogers



There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less than the long range risks and costs of comfortable inaction. – John F. Kennedy



We can be absolutely certain only about things we do not understand. – Eric Hoffer

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Glory's Small Change

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Popularity? It is glory’s small change. – Victor Hugo

Hypengyophobia – n. – Fear of responsibility – Hosefa Heifetz Byrne, Mrs. Byrne’s Dictionary

Corporation, n. an ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility. – Ambrose Bierce

None know the weight of another’s burden. – thomas Fuller

The market doesn’t reward qualities that are not scarce. – Mark A. Johnson

When written in Chinese, the word crisis is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity. -–John F. Kennedy

To conquer without risk is to triumph without glory. – Pierre Corneile

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Worthy Ideas are Dangerous

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If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear. – George Orwell

A man should be upright, not be kept upright. – Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

There are three things which are real – God, human folly, and laughter. The first two are beyond our comprehension, so we must do what we can with the third. – John F. Kennedy

You have to have a serious streak in you or you can’t see the funny side of the other fellow. – Will Rogers

A new and valid idea is worth more than a regiment and fewer men can furnish the former than can command the latter. – Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Nothing is more dangerous than an idea when it is the only one you have. – Emile Chartier

A idea that is not dangerous is unworthy to be called an idea at all. – Elbert Hubbard

What Makes Balloons Larger and Candy Bars Smaller?

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He that speaks ill of the mare will buy her. – Benjamin Franklin

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? – Woody Allen

The farmer is the only man in our economy who buys everything he buys at retail, sells everything he sells at wholesale, and pays the freight both ways. – John F. Kennedy

I never knew an auctioneer to lie unless it was absolutely necessary. – Josh Billings

What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. And a sentimentalist -–is a man who sees an absurd value in everything, and doesn’t know the market price of any single thing. – Oscar Wilde

Inflation makes balloons larger and candy bars smaller. – David L. Kurtz

A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much. – Evan Esar

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere. – James Allen

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Discover What Your Enemy Fears Most

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Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. – John F. Kennedy

Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much. – Oscar Wilde

Competition, you know, is a lot like chastity. It is widely praised, but alas, too little practiced. – Carol Tucker

Live together like brothers and do business like strangers. – Arabic proverb

You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. – Eric Hoffer

The race may not be to the swift nor the victory to the strong, but that’s how you bet. – Damon Runyon

Don’t wrestle with pigs; you get dirty and they enjoy it. – anonymous

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Organizitis is like a Spastic Colon

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On ships they’re called barnacles; in radio they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents. – Fred Allen

Do you realize the responsibility I carry? I’m the only person standing between Nixon and the White House. – John F. Kennedy

The surest way for an executive to kill himself is to refuse to learn how, and when, and to whom to delegate work. – James Cash Penney

Everyone’s responsibility is no one’s responsibility. – anonymous

Far too much reorganization goes on all the time. Organizitis is like a spastic colon. – Peter Drucker

Every successful business requires three men – a dreamer, a business-man, and a son-of-a-bitch. – Peter McArthur
Darkly Comical Quotes

Shoes Too Small and Foolishness

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There can be no progress if people have no faith in tomorrow. – John F. Kennedy

The most distinguished hallmark of the American society is and always has been change. Eric Sevareid

Just the other day I listened to a young fellow sing a very passionate song about how technology is killing us and all. But before he started, he bent down and plugged his electric guitar into the wall socket. – Paul Goodman

There is more to life than increasing its speed. – Mohandas K. Gandhi

This is the great folly of grown ups – wanting what lasts, wanting to last. Only two things last: shoes too small and foolishness. – Minou Drouet

All movements go too far. – Bertrand Russel

I know no way of judging the future but by the past. – Patrick Henry