Darkly Comical Hollywood Quotes

Cover of Goodness Had Nothing to Do with It

Mae West –

Her autobiography – Goodness Had Nothing to do With It

Sex is an emotion in motion.

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

Every man I meet wants to protgect me. Can’t figure out from whom.

When they make a man better than George Raft, I’ll make him too.

Beulah, peel me a grape.

Kiss me, my fool.

Darkly Comical Hollywood Quotes

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Brigitte Bardot

The French sex kitten

There is a French proverb: to live happily, live hidden. Where can Brigitte Bardot hide?

I leave before being left. I decide.

If you live with a man, you must conquer him every day. Otherwise he will go to another.

You must at least be amusing, the best at something, or interesting, otherwise you will be nothing.

I play myself. I’m not good enough to play somebody else.

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Darkly Comical Hollywood Quotes

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Jean Harlow – 1911-1937

The phrase “platinum blonde best describes Jean Harlow.

If audiences like you, you don’t have to be an actress.

The men like me because I don’t wear a brassiere. And the women like me because I don’t look like a girl who would steal a husband. At least not for long.

I like to wake up feeling a new man.

To a producer: What kind of whore am I now?

Louis B. Mayer about Harlow’s disastrous marriage to Paul Bern –
“Tell me, how does a girl like Harlow, a temple of sex, wind up married to a fairy bigamist? Tell me!”

Darkly Comical Hollywood Quotes

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Samuel Goldwyn (1884-1974) was the leading independent film producer for 35 years.

“Goldwynisms”

Let’s have some new cliches.

Here I am paying big money to you writers and what for? All you do is change the words.

There is not enough sarcasm in the musical score.
A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad.

We put the money in the escarole.

I want this to be fifty-fifty like I said. But I want you to see that I get the best part of it.

I know you’re getting nothing, but I won’t pay you a cent more.

Spare no expense to make everything as economical as possible.

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Samuel Goldwyn (1884-1974) was the leading independent film producer for 35 years.

“Goldwynisms”

A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.

A producer shouldn’t get ulcers; he should give them.

Most directors bite the hand that lays the golden egg.
The scene is too dull; tell him to put more life into his dying.

This is it. You’re fired. You’re fired. Definitely. Wait a minute I didn’t say positively.

The book has too much plot and not enough story.

I read part of it all the way through.

She’s a lesbian? We’ll get around that. We’ll make her an American.

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Darkly Comical Hollywood Quotes

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The Screenwriters –

Each of these quotes are from authors who have written or adapted original screenplays or properties.

If my books had been any worse, I should not have been invited to Hollywood, and if they had been any better, I should not have come. – Raymond Chandler

When a man of forty falls in love with a girl of twenty, it isn’t her youth he is seeking but his own. – Lenore Coffee

Whatever will bring in the most money will happen. – Elinor Glyn

A screenwriter is a man who is being tortured to confess and has nothing to confess. – Christopher Isherwood

A movie star is a creation that, like a painting or a statue or a symphony, does not age. – Garson Kanin

The films take our best ideas. We work like slaves, inventing, devising, changing, to please the morons who run this game. We spend endless hours in search of novel ideas, and, in the end, what do we get for it? A lousy fortune. – Alexander King

Gentlemen prefer blondes, but marry brunettes. – Anita Loos

The Hollywood version of the Twenty-third Psalm is “My pool runneth over.” – Harry Kurnitz

Darkly Comical Hollywood Quotes

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The director is the artist of the cinema.

Frank Capra (It’s a Wonderful Life)

Directors have the power to speak to hundreds of millions for two hours—and in the dark.

Movies made here have Americanized the world.

My measure of all things was simple: was it good for Frank Capra.

In short: “the audience is always right” is a safe bet.

There are no rules in film-making, only sins. And the cardinal sin is Dullness.

About Capra

I’d rather be Capra than God. If there is a Capra. – Garson Kanin

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The Director is the artist of the cinema

Directors: John Huston

The cinema sees deep

The director is the actor's sole audience

Fear makes you run one way--courage makes you run the other.

You need about twenty million dollars to live properly. My life span would probably be lengthened if I had that much. It's only trying to make twenty million dollars that cuts short a man's years. Spending it would be healthy.

Each film is a little lifetime.

Darkly Comical Hollywood Quotes

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The director is the artist of the cinema.

The directors: Ingmar Bergman

Whenever I am in doubt, I take refuge in the vision of a simple and pure love.

A film is a tapeworm, a tapeworm 2,500 meters long that sucks the life and spirit out of me.

I think it's terrbly important that art exposes humiliation, that art shows how human beings humiliate each other, because humiliation is one of the most dreadful companions of humanity, and our whole social system is based to an enormous extent on humiliation.

Darkly Comical Hollywood Quotes

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Marlon Brando Quotes

If you play a pig, they think you’re a pig.

If you’re successful, acting is about as soft a job as anybody could ever wish for. But if you’re unsuccessful, it’s worse than having a skin disease.

Quitting acting – that is the mark of maturity.

I suppose it’s like the old Indian proverb about the leaf and the tree—“not a leaf move that the tree does not know.” Maybe a film does have influence on people’s lives.

I’m convinced that the larger the gross the worse the picture.

After you’ve got enough money, money doesn’t matter.

Tommorrow – Quotes about Marlon Brando

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