Showing posts with label Darkly Comical Last Words. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Darkly Comical Last Words. Show all posts

Sunday, November 22, 2009

They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist-

An original theatrical poster for the Our Gang...Image via Wikipedia

John Sedgwick – American Civil War general carelessly peering over a parapet – They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist-

Sir Ernest Henry Shackleton – explorer – to his doctor – You are always wanting me to give up something. What do you want me to give up now?

Captain E.J. Smith – of the Titanic –
Let me go

Robert A. Taft – Well, Martha – Glad to see you looking so well.

Carl Alfalfa Switzer – of “Our Gang” films – Just before he was killed by a drunk –
I want that fifty bucks you owe me and I want it now.

Dylan Thomas – I’ve had eighteen straight whiskies; I think that’s the record.

Friday, November 20, 2009

To Seek the Great Perhaps.

Description unavailableImage by Khalifa A Al-Matawaa via Flickr

David Graham Phillips – I could have won against two bullets but not six.

Edgar Allen Poe – Lord help my poor soul.

Marcel Proust (asked by his brother if he were hurting him) – Yes, Robert dear, you are.

Alexander Pushkin – Russian poet gazing at his books – Farewell, my friends.

Francois Rabelais – French writer – I go to seek the great Perhaps.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Why am I Hemorrhaging?

Anna Pavlova in the Fokine/Saint-Saëns The Dyi...Image via Wikipedia

Gram Parsons – Rock musician – Told that his drug abuse would kill him
Death is a warm cloak and old friend. I regard death as something that comes up on a roulette wheel every once in a while.

Boris Pasternak – Russian novelist
Goodbye --- why am I hemorrhaging?

Anna Pavlova – prima ballerina
Get my swan costume ready.

Charles Willson Peale – American painter
Peale – “Sybilla, feel my pulse.”
Daughter – “I can’t feel any.”
Peale – “I thought not.”

Count Pestel – Russina revolutionary after the rope broke on the first attempt to hang him –
Stupid country, where they do not even know how to hang.

Sir John Philby – Arabic scholar
God, I’m bored.

Pablo Picasso – painter
Drink to me.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Anna Pavlova in the Fokine/Saint-Saëns The Dyi...Image via Wikipedia

Benito Mussolini – Italian dictator to the partisan who shot him
"But --- but --- Colonel ---"

Sir William Robert Nicoll – Theologian
"I believe everything that I have written about immortality."

Lawrence E.G. Oates – A member of Scott’s expedition to the South Pole (believing he was a burden to the group)
"I am just going outside and may be some time."

Torlogh O’Carolan – Irish Poet – on asking for his last whiskey
"It would be hard if such friends should part as least without kissing."

Wilfred Owen – English Poet – To one of his men during WWI
"Well done --- You are doing very well, my boy."

William Palmer – hanged for poinsoning a friend – As he stepped onto the gallows trap
"Are you sure it’s safe?"

Carl Panzram – Executed for murdering 23 people
"I wish the human race had one neck and I had my hands around it."


Sunday, November 15, 2009

Sorry We Couldn’t Wait - Pressing Business Elsewhere

Lenticolari al tramontoImage by albyper via Flickr

Nikolai Gogol – Russian novelist
"And I shall laugh a bitter laugh."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe – German Romantic poet
"More light! More Light!"

Oliver Goldsmith – English writer on being asked whether his mind was at ease
"No, it is not."

Joseph Green – a surgeon checking his own pulse -
"Congestion --- stopped."

Seaman Grontoft – Norwegian wireless operator
"We are sinking stern first. The boats are smashed. Can’t hold out longer. The skipper dictated that. He ought to know. Where did I put my hat? Sorry, we couldn’t wait for you. Pressing business elsewhere. Skaal."

Richard Halliburton – writer, explorer, adventurer
His last message from the Pacific
"Southerly gales, squalls, lee rail under water, wet bunks, hard tack, bully beef, wish you were here – instead of me."

Mozart (referring to a musical score on which he was working)
"Did I not tell you that I was writing this for myself?"


Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Darkly Comical Last Words

John Sedgwick American Civil War general carelessly peering over the parapet at the battle of Spotsylvania:
“They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dista ..”

Robert Taft to his wife
“Well, Martha .. Glad to see you looking so well.”

Carl Panzram Executed for murdering 23 people
– “I wish the human race had one neck and I had my hands round it.”

Edward “Death Valley Scotty” Scott (American recluse died 1954
“I got four things to live by: don’t say nothin’ that will hurt anybody; don’t give advice—nobody will take it anyway; don’t complain; don’t explain.”

Gram Parsons Rock musician – after being told his drug use would kill him –
“Death is a warm cloak and old friend. I regard death as something that comes up on a roulette wheel every once in a while.”

Anthony Drexel III – Demonstrating a new pistol
– “Here’s one you’ve never seen..”

Alexander the Great – Upon being asked on his deathbed who was to succeed him –
“The strongest.”

Nikolai Rubinstein founder of the Moscow Conservatoire -
“Oysters! Nothing will do me as much good as a dozen cold oysters and an ice afterwords.”

Norman Baesell – Air Force Major flying the aircraft in which bandleader Glenn Miller disappeared over the English Channel -
“What’s the matter, Miller, do you want to live forever?”

Manfred von Richthofen (the Red Baron)- WWI fighter pilot to his mechanics -
“Don’t you think I’ll be back?”

Joseph Duveen, English Art Dealer after living beyond all medical prognoses -
“Well, I fooled them for five years.”

Richard Halliburton – Writer and explorer – Final message sent from his ship sinking in the Pacific – “Southerly gales, squalls, lee rail under water, wet bunks, hard tack, bully beef, wish you were here—instead of me!”

Richard Fairbanks, Sr. – Actor
“I’ve never felt better!”

Morgan Earp – Lawman dying in the OK Corral, he finally agreed with his brother’s views on the afterllife
“I guess you were right, Wyatt. I can’t see a damned thing.”

James Cross – Scottish physicist after a life of abstention, he requested spirits on his deathbed –
“I’ll take a wee drop of that. I don’t think there’s much fear of me learning to drink now.”


Elisa Bonaprte – Sister of Napoleon on being told that nothing was as certain as death –
“Except taxes.”

“I’ve had eighteen straight whiskies. I think that’s the record.” – Dylan Thomas the Welsh Poet

James Thurber’s last words -
“God bless .. God damn ..”

Oscar Wilde calling for champagne on his death bed -
“I am dying, as I have lived, beyond my means”

“Splendid, the finale just a little too fast.”
Eugene Ysaye – Violinist listening to his own sonata

Richard Loeb – Murderer – Killed in a prison fight with another inmate, Loeb was slashed with a razor 56 times:
“I think I’m going to make it.”

John Luthor Jones Casey Jones – railroad locomotive engineer –
“For I’m going to run her till she leaves the rail—or make it on time with the southbound mail.”

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Darkly Comical Last Words

Anna Pavlova – pima ballerina
"Get my swan costume."

Joel Chandler Harris – Creator of the Uncle Remus stories – On being asked if he was feeling better –
"I am about the extent of a tenth of a gnat’s eyebrow better."

Boris Pasternak – Russian novelist
– "Goodbye .. why am I hemorrhaging?"


Doc Holliday – Gambler and gunfighter to the person trying to remove his boots –"Dammit! Put them back on. This is funny."

Chris Hubbock (died 19970) Newscaster on shooting herself on a prime time news program –
"And now, in keeping with Channel 40’s policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts, in living color, you’re about to see another first—an attempted suicide."

Henry VIII –
"Monks! Monks! Monks!"

"The only place I feel alive is the high wire."
Karl wallenda, high wire performer

Abdur Rahman Khan (Emir of Afghanistan – died 1901)
– "My spirit will remain in Afghanistan, though my soul shall go to God. My last words to you, my son and successor, are, never trust the Russians."

Voltaire on being asked if he believed in the divinity of Christ –
"In the name of God, let me die in peace!"

Frederic Remington – American Painter to his doctor when he informed him he would have to undergo an appendectomy
"Cut her loose, Doc!"

Karl Marx – Father of Communism
"Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven’t said enough."

Terry Kath – Rock musician playing Russian roulette with a loaded revolver –
"Don’t worry, it’s not loaded."

William Palmer – (Hanged for poisoning a friend) As he stepped onto the gallows trap –
"Are you sure it’s safe?"

Thomas B. Moran – American pickpocket –
"I’ve never forgiven that smartalecky reporter who named me ‘butterfingers’ – to me it’s not funny."

Baba Meher – guru – His last words were spoken in 1925; he lived in silence for the next 44 years.
"Don’t worry, be happy."


Leonardo da Vinci –
"I have offended God and mankind because my work didn’t reach the quality it should have."