Darkly Comical Insults

America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization. – Geroges Clemenceau – French statesman

If a traveler were informed that such a man was the Leader of the House of Commons, he might begin to comprehend how the Egyptians worshipped an insect.
- Benjamin Disraeli – on fellow politician Lord John Russel California is a fine place to live – if you happen to be an orange – Fred Allen

McKinley has a chocolate-éclair backbone.
- Theodore Roosevelt while vice president under McKinley

The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children.
- The Duke of Windsor (1894- 1972)

One of our Puritan forebears greeted his daughter arriving late at the breakfast table.
“Child of the Deil.”
To which she replied:
“Good morning, father.”

An infatuated young man was sending his girl friend a cable which read:
“Ozzy loves his Woozy, Woozy, Woozy.”
“You can add another ‘Woozy’ without it costing any more,” said the desk clerk.
“No, thanks,” replied the young man. “I think that would sound rather silly.”

I liked your opera. I think I will set it to music. – Ludwig van Beethoven

The only man, woman, or child who wrote a simple declarative sentence with seven grammatical errors is dead. – e.e. cummings (On president Warren Hardings death)

They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge. – Thomas Reed (1773-1833) - Speaker of the House of Representatives – on members of the U.S. Congress