Our Grand Kitten takes on the evil oppressors
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Darkly Comical Business Quotes
We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and a mystery.
- H. G. Wells
When you find yourself overpowered, as it were, by melancholy, the best way is to go out and do something kind to somebody or other. – Keble
Statistics are no substitute for judgement. – Henry Clay
Necessity of action takes away the fear of the act, and makes bold resolution the favorite of fortune. – Quarles
Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and griefs which we endure help us in our marching onward. – Henry Ford
The old Quaker was right: “I expect to pass through life but once. If there is any kindness, or any good thing I can do to my fellow beings, let me do it now. I shall pass this way but once. – W.C. Gannett
A nail is driven out by another nail; habit is overcome by habit. – Erasmus
Restlessness and discontent are the first necessities of progress. – Thomas A. Edison
He who is plentiously provided for from within needs but little from without. – Goethe
The employer generally gets the employees he deserves. – Sir Walter Bilbey
Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing. – Albert Einstein
When a man begins to understand himself he begins to live. When he begins to live he begins to understand his fellow man. – Norvin G. McGranahan
- H. G. Wells
When you find yourself overpowered, as it were, by melancholy, the best way is to go out and do something kind to somebody or other. – Keble
Statistics are no substitute for judgement. – Henry Clay
Necessity of action takes away the fear of the act, and makes bold resolution the favorite of fortune. – Quarles
Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and griefs which we endure help us in our marching onward. – Henry Ford
The old Quaker was right: “I expect to pass through life but once. If there is any kindness, or any good thing I can do to my fellow beings, let me do it now. I shall pass this way but once. – W.C. Gannett
A nail is driven out by another nail; habit is overcome by habit. – Erasmus
Restlessness and discontent are the first necessities of progress. – Thomas A. Edison
He who is plentiously provided for from within needs but little from without. – Goethe
The employer generally gets the employees he deserves. – Sir Walter Bilbey
Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing. – Albert Einstein
When a man begins to understand himself he begins to live. When he begins to live he begins to understand his fellow man. – Norvin G. McGranahan
Monday, March 30, 2009
Quotes you Need for Today
It is part of the cure to wish to be cured. – Seneca
A ship to run a straight course can have but one pilot and one steering wheel. The same applies to the successful operation. There cannot be a steering wheel at every seat in an organization. - Jules Ormont
Be true to the best you know. This is your high ideal if you do your best, you cannot do more. Do your best every day and your life will gradually expand into satisfying fullness. Cultivate the habit of doing one thing at a time with quiet deliberateness. Always allow yourself a sufficient margin of time in which to do your work well. Frequently examine your working methods to discover and eliminate unnecessary tension. Aim at poise, repose and self control. The relaxed worker accomplishes most. H.W. Dresser
God does not want us to do extraordinary things; He wants us to do ordinary things extraordinarily well.- Bishop Gore
Ideas are the root of creation. – Ernest Dimnet
In modern business it is not the crook who is to be feared most, it is the honest man who doesn’t know what he is doing. – Owen D. Young
Wherever a man goes to dwell, his character goes with him. – African Proverb
It is an undoubted truth that the less one has to do the less time one finds to do it in. One yawns, one procrastinates, one can do it when one will, and, therefore, one seldom does it at all; whereas those who have a great deal of business must (to use the vulgar expression) buckle to it; and then they always find time enough to do it. – Lord Chesterfield
No gain is so certain as that which proceeds from the economical use of what you already have. – Latin Proverb
A ship to run a straight course can have but one pilot and one steering wheel. The same applies to the successful operation. There cannot be a steering wheel at every seat in an organization. - Jules Ormont
Be true to the best you know. This is your high ideal if you do your best, you cannot do more. Do your best every day and your life will gradually expand into satisfying fullness. Cultivate the habit of doing one thing at a time with quiet deliberateness. Always allow yourself a sufficient margin of time in which to do your work well. Frequently examine your working methods to discover and eliminate unnecessary tension. Aim at poise, repose and self control. The relaxed worker accomplishes most. H.W. Dresser
God does not want us to do extraordinary things; He wants us to do ordinary things extraordinarily well.- Bishop Gore
Ideas are the root of creation. – Ernest Dimnet
In modern business it is not the crook who is to be feared most, it is the honest man who doesn’t know what he is doing. – Owen D. Young
Wherever a man goes to dwell, his character goes with him. – African Proverb
It is an undoubted truth that the less one has to do the less time one finds to do it in. One yawns, one procrastinates, one can do it when one will, and, therefore, one seldom does it at all; whereas those who have a great deal of business must (to use the vulgar expression) buckle to it; and then they always find time enough to do it. – Lord Chesterfield
No gain is so certain as that which proceeds from the economical use of what you already have. – Latin Proverb
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes on the Business of Life
Lampis, the shipowner, on being asked how he acquired his great wealth, replied, “My great wealth was acquired with no difficulty, but my small wealth, my first gains, with much difficulty.” – Epictetus
The effects of our actions may be postponed but they are never lost. There is an inevitable reward for good deeds and an inescapable punishment for bad. Meditate upon this truth, and seek always to earn good wages from destiny. – Wu Ming Fu
As soon as a man climbs up to a high position, he must train his subordinates and trust them. They must relieve him of all small matters. He must be set free to think, to travel, to plan, to see important customers, to make improvements, to do all the big jobs of leadership. – Herbert N. Casson
Get to know two things about a man—how he earns his moneyand how he spends it—and you have the clue to his character, for you have a searchlight that shows up the inmost recesses of his soul. You know all you need to know about his standards, his motives, his driving desires, his real religion. – Robert James McCracken, DJ
I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize. The first is gentleness; the second is frugality; the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself others. Be gentle and you can be bold; be frugal and you can be liberal; avoid putting yourself before others and you can become a leader among men. – Lao-Tzu
Never make a decision yourself, if you don’t have to. When one of your men asks you a question, ask him what is the answer. There is only one answer to many questions, and, therefore, this method answers many questions before they are asked. It not only develops your men, but also enables you to measure their ability. – Colby M. Chester
If a man empties his purse into his head, no one can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest. – Benjamin Franklin
The effects of our actions may be postponed but they are never lost. There is an inevitable reward for good deeds and an inescapable punishment for bad. Meditate upon this truth, and seek always to earn good wages from destiny. – Wu Ming Fu
As soon as a man climbs up to a high position, he must train his subordinates and trust them. They must relieve him of all small matters. He must be set free to think, to travel, to plan, to see important customers, to make improvements, to do all the big jobs of leadership. – Herbert N. Casson
Get to know two things about a man—how he earns his moneyand how he spends it—and you have the clue to his character, for you have a searchlight that shows up the inmost recesses of his soul. You know all you need to know about his standards, his motives, his driving desires, his real religion. – Robert James McCracken, DJ
I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize. The first is gentleness; the second is frugality; the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself others. Be gentle and you can be bold; be frugal and you can be liberal; avoid putting yourself before others and you can become a leader among men. – Lao-Tzu
Never make a decision yourself, if you don’t have to. When one of your men asks you a question, ask him what is the answer. There is only one answer to many questions, and, therefore, this method answers many questions before they are asked. It not only develops your men, but also enables you to measure their ability. – Colby M. Chester
If a man empties his purse into his head, no one can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest. – Benjamin Franklin
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Dark Comedy Quotes
If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fears. - Glenn Clark
Everybody ought to do at least two things each day that he hates to do, just for practice. – William James
Nothing more completely baffles one who is full of tricks and duplicity than straightforward and simple integrity. – Colton
I find that a great deal of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way. – Franklin P. Adams
Humility leads to strength and not to weakness. It is the highest form of self-respect to admit mistakes and to make amends for them. – John J. McCloy
Fear is acid which is pumped into one’s atmosphere. It causes mental, moral and spiritual asphyxiation, and sometimes death; death to energy and all growth. – Horace Fletcher
Activity back of a very small idea will produce more than inactivity and the planning of genius. – James A. Worsham
Save a part of your income and begin now, for the man with a surplus controls circumstances and the man without is controlled by circumstances. Henry H. Buckley
When you cannot make up your mind which of two evenly balanced courses of action you should take—choose the bolder. – W.J.Slim
Everybody ought to do at least two things each day that he hates to do, just for practice. – William James
Nothing more completely baffles one who is full of tricks and duplicity than straightforward and simple integrity. – Colton
I find that a great deal of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way. – Franklin P. Adams
Humility leads to strength and not to weakness. It is the highest form of self-respect to admit mistakes and to make amends for them. – John J. McCloy
Fear is acid which is pumped into one’s atmosphere. It causes mental, moral and spiritual asphyxiation, and sometimes death; death to energy and all growth. – Horace Fletcher
Activity back of a very small idea will produce more than inactivity and the planning of genius. – James A. Worsham
Save a part of your income and begin now, for the man with a surplus controls circumstances and the man without is controlled by circumstances. Henry H. Buckley
When you cannot make up your mind which of two evenly balanced courses of action you should take—choose the bolder. – W.J.Slim
Friday, March 27, 2009
Darkly Comical Business Quotes
As the gardener, by severe pruning, forces the sap of the tree into one or two vigorous limbs, so should you stop off your miscellaneous activity an d concentrate your force on one or a few points. – Emerson
Happiness is not so much in having or sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. – Norman MacEwan
He who allows his day to pass by without practicing generosity and enjoying life’s pleasures is like a blacksmith’s bellows—he breathes but does not live
- Sanskrit Proverb
The successful people are the ones who can think up stuff for the rest of the world to keep busy at.
- Don Marquis
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages. – Edwin H. Stuart
Economy is half the battle of life; it is not so hard to earn money as to spend it well. - Spurgeon
To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die. - Campbell
Happiness is not so much in having or sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. – Norman MacEwan
He who allows his day to pass by without practicing generosity and enjoying life’s pleasures is like a blacksmith’s bellows—he breathes but does not live
- Sanskrit Proverb
The successful people are the ones who can think up stuff for the rest of the world to keep busy at.
- Don Marquis
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages. – Edwin H. Stuart
Economy is half the battle of life; it is not so hard to earn money as to spend it well. - Spurgeon
To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die. - Campbell
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Life Homogenation
As I have reported in this blog previously it’s reached the point where watching the news is deleterious to your health and well being. Turn off the news.
But before you turn off the news do a little experiment. Turn on the NBC, CBS or ABC evening news. Watch one for five minutes and then switch back and forth between the stations.
If you follow through and do what I’m recommending over time you will discover something that I never knew.
For everyone who isn’t willing to turn the news back on or change their news-viewing pattern, as they’re addicted, here’s what you’ll discover.
The hard news stories and the spin on the hard news stories are virtually identical. Sure your favorite has a different talking head but the pictures, film clips and the take on the stories are all the same.
It’s a little distressing in a free country to see three independent networks rapping in harmony.
It doesn’t take much investigation to discover that the reason the news is coming to your television out of cookie-cutter molds is that the networks purchase the news. The pictures are paid for. The film clips are paid for and the analysis or spin on the story is purchased.
It doesn’t matter where they buy the news (Associated Press, Time Warner–CNN) What matters is life homogenation. In this example, it’s news homogenation.
Homogenize: To form by blending unlike elements to make similar.
Another example of life homogination you will readily identify is the malling of America. It used to be every community had some uniqueness to the shopping experience. Then every town got “mauled.” Now I can drop you in just about any mall in America and you won’t know where you are.
Life homogination is bad for shopping and it’s bad for Americans.
If you homogenize the news you will wind up with people who are all similar.
Dissimilarity has always been the strength of America and Americans.
Here’s another example, teaching our children so they can pass a standardized test. If no child is left behind, then the product of our education system is young adults who are homogenized.
I just did a ten-page google search and did not find one other reference to “Life Homogenation.” Therefore, I have decided to take the unilateral and ultra egotistical step of planting my own personal divot on “Life Homogenation” (for myself, for me, for me and mine, everyone else, keep your paws off). As of this moment I have trade marked the term Life Homgenation©*. And here’s to hoping it will make me wealthy beyond my wildest imagination so I can start a non-profit – The Organization To Prevent Life Homogenation (also known as S.I.C.K.).
You may send your donations to me as you know I have a worthy cause for America and who knows; first America, then Earth and finally to the Universe and beyond. Hey, we could start our own cult.
Now drag yourself out in the street right now and scream, “Down with the Homogination of Life!” Down with the homogination of Life!” Down with the Homogination of Life!” – I think that’s enough we’re drawing attention.
* If you should know someone who has already got dibs on “Life Homogenation”, my bad. Hey, I did a ten-page google. Where I come from that is research. What more do you want, originality? Fat chance of that.
But before you turn off the news do a little experiment. Turn on the NBC, CBS or ABC evening news. Watch one for five minutes and then switch back and forth between the stations.
If you follow through and do what I’m recommending over time you will discover something that I never knew.
For everyone who isn’t willing to turn the news back on or change their news-viewing pattern, as they’re addicted, here’s what you’ll discover.
The hard news stories and the spin on the hard news stories are virtually identical. Sure your favorite has a different talking head but the pictures, film clips and the take on the stories are all the same.
It’s a little distressing in a free country to see three independent networks rapping in harmony.
It doesn’t take much investigation to discover that the reason the news is coming to your television out of cookie-cutter molds is that the networks purchase the news. The pictures are paid for. The film clips are paid for and the analysis or spin on the story is purchased.
It doesn’t matter where they buy the news (Associated Press, Time Warner–CNN) What matters is life homogenation. In this example, it’s news homogenation.
Homogenize: To form by blending unlike elements to make similar.
Another example of life homogination you will readily identify is the malling of America. It used to be every community had some uniqueness to the shopping experience. Then every town got “mauled.” Now I can drop you in just about any mall in America and you won’t know where you are.
Life homogination is bad for shopping and it’s bad for Americans.
If you homogenize the news you will wind up with people who are all similar.
Dissimilarity has always been the strength of America and Americans.
Here’s another example, teaching our children so they can pass a standardized test. If no child is left behind, then the product of our education system is young adults who are homogenized.
I just did a ten-page google search and did not find one other reference to “Life Homogenation.” Therefore, I have decided to take the unilateral and ultra egotistical step of planting my own personal divot on “Life Homogenation” (for myself, for me, for me and mine, everyone else, keep your paws off). As of this moment I have trade marked the term Life Homgenation©*. And here’s to hoping it will make me wealthy beyond my wildest imagination so I can start a non-profit – The Organization To Prevent Life Homogenation (also known as S.I.C.K.).
You may send your donations to me as you know I have a worthy cause for America and who knows; first America, then Earth and finally to the Universe and beyond. Hey, we could start our own cult.
Now drag yourself out in the street right now and scream, “Down with the Homogination of Life!” Down with the homogination of Life!” Down with the Homogination of Life!” – I think that’s enough we’re drawing attention.
* If you should know someone who has already got dibs on “Life Homogenation”, my bad. Hey, I did a ten-page google. Where I come from that is research. What more do you want, originality? Fat chance of that.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Darkly Comical Business Quotes
A helping word to one in trouble is often like a switch on a railroad track—an inch between wreck and smooth-rolling prosperity. – Henry Ward Beecher
A prudent question is one-half of wisdom. – Bacon
If you load responsibility on a man unworthy of it he will always betray himself. – August Heckscher
An idea a day will keep the sheriff away. – Don E. Roseman
Rules for Business success
Carefully examine every detail of the business.
Be prompt.
Take time to consider and then decide quickly.
Dare to go forward.
Bear your trouble patiently.
Maintain your integrity as a sacred thing.
Never tell business lies.
Make no useless acquaintances.
Never try to appear something more than you are.
Pay your debts promptly.
Learn how to risk your money at the right time.
Shun strong liquor.
Employ your time well.
Do not reckon on chance.
Be polite to everyone.
Never be discouraged.
Work hard and you will succeed.
Rothschild
A precedent embalms a principle. – Disraeli
Tsze-King asked, “Is there not one word which may serve as a rule of practice for all one’s life?”
The Master said, “Is not reciprocity such a word? What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.” – Confucius
It is not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about? – Thoreau
Pressure is on us by the nature of the job. Performance releases pressure. – Fisher
Work is often the father of pleasure. - Voltaire
A prudent question is one-half of wisdom. – Bacon
If you load responsibility on a man unworthy of it he will always betray himself. – August Heckscher
An idea a day will keep the sheriff away. – Don E. Roseman
Rules for Business success
Carefully examine every detail of the business.
Be prompt.
Take time to consider and then decide quickly.
Dare to go forward.
Bear your trouble patiently.
Maintain your integrity as a sacred thing.
Never tell business lies.
Make no useless acquaintances.
Never try to appear something more than you are.
Pay your debts promptly.
Learn how to risk your money at the right time.
Shun strong liquor.
Employ your time well.
Do not reckon on chance.
Be polite to everyone.
Never be discouraged.
Work hard and you will succeed.
Rothschild
A precedent embalms a principle. – Disraeli
Tsze-King asked, “Is there not one word which may serve as a rule of practice for all one’s life?”
The Master said, “Is not reciprocity such a word? What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.” – Confucius
It is not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about? – Thoreau
Pressure is on us by the nature of the job. Performance releases pressure. – Fisher
Work is often the father of pleasure. - Voltaire
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes
A friend is a gift you give yourself. – Robert Louis Stevenson
Everything can be improved. – C.W.Barron
Great trials seem to be a necessary preparation for great duties. – Thompson
Goodwill is the one and only asset that competition cannot undersell nor destroy. – Marshall Field
All things come to him who waits—provided he knows what he is waiting for. – Woodrow Wilson
Money never starts an idea; it is the idea that starts the money. – W.J.Cameron
Every difficulty slurred over will be a ghost to disturb your repose later on. – Chopin
You will never “find” time for anything. If you want time, you must make it. – Charles Bixton
Our thought is the key which unlocks the doors of the world. – Samuel McC. Crothers
You can’t escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today. – Abraham Lincoln
Sufficient to each day are the duties to be done and the trials to be endured. God never built a Christian strong enough to carry today’s duties and tomorrow’s anxieties piled on the top of them. – T. L. Cuyler
Everything can be improved. – C.W.Barron
Great trials seem to be a necessary preparation for great duties. – Thompson
Goodwill is the one and only asset that competition cannot undersell nor destroy. – Marshall Field
All things come to him who waits—provided he knows what he is waiting for. – Woodrow Wilson
Money never starts an idea; it is the idea that starts the money. – W.J.Cameron
Every difficulty slurred over will be a ghost to disturb your repose later on. – Chopin
You will never “find” time for anything. If you want time, you must make it. – Charles Bixton
Our thought is the key which unlocks the doors of the world. – Samuel McC. Crothers
You can’t escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today. – Abraham Lincoln
Sufficient to each day are the duties to be done and the trials to be endured. God never built a Christian strong enough to carry today’s duties and tomorrow’s anxieties piled on the top of them. – T. L. Cuyler
Monday, March 23, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes on Business
We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.
– C. Malesherbes
He’s no failure. He’s not dead yet. – W.L.George
My share of the work of the world may be limited, but the fact that it is work makes it precious. Darwin could work only half an hour at a time; but in many diligent half-hours he laid anew the foundations of phiosophy. Green, the historian, tells us that the world is moved not only by the mighty shoves of the heroes, but also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker.
– H. Kellogg
The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.
–Johnson
The great difference between the real statesman and the pretender is, that the one sees into the future, while the other regards only the present; the one lives by the day, and acts on expedience; the other acts on enduring principles.
– Burke
Education is anything we do for the purpose of taking advantage of the experience of some one else. – Lyman Bryson
Earn a little, and spend a little—less. – John Stevenson
What is defeat? Nothing but education; nothing but the first step in something better. – Wendell Phillips
To live is not to learn, but to apply. – Legouve
Opportunity is as scarce as oxygen; men daily breathe it and do not know it.
– Thomas A. Edison
No power is strong enough to be lasting if it labors under the weight of fear.
– Cicero
When a fool has made up his mind the market has gone by. – Spanish Proverb
– C. Malesherbes
He’s no failure. He’s not dead yet. – W.L.George
My share of the work of the world may be limited, but the fact that it is work makes it precious. Darwin could work only half an hour at a time; but in many diligent half-hours he laid anew the foundations of phiosophy. Green, the historian, tells us that the world is moved not only by the mighty shoves of the heroes, but also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker.
– H. Kellogg
The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.
–Johnson
The great difference between the real statesman and the pretender is, that the one sees into the future, while the other regards only the present; the one lives by the day, and acts on expedience; the other acts on enduring principles.
– Burke
Education is anything we do for the purpose of taking advantage of the experience of some one else. – Lyman Bryson
Earn a little, and spend a little—less. – John Stevenson
What is defeat? Nothing but education; nothing but the first step in something better. – Wendell Phillips
To live is not to learn, but to apply. – Legouve
Opportunity is as scarce as oxygen; men daily breathe it and do not know it.
– Thomas A. Edison
No power is strong enough to be lasting if it labors under the weight of fear.
– Cicero
When a fool has made up his mind the market has gone by. – Spanish Proverb
Sunday, March 22, 2009
The Statesman and the Pretenders
“The great difference between the real statesman and the pretender is, that the one sees into the future, while the other regards only the present; the one lives by the day, and acts on expedience; the other acts on enduring principles.” – Burke
It strikes me that Barack Obama has been president for only two months and already I believe he will prove himself a statesman.
In that same two months, the House and Senate of the United States of America have continued to prove that they’re pretenders. Blundering buffoons baying at their altar: expedience.
Yesterday I saw Barack Obama reach out to Iran and offer to start a dialogue about the future of the world. He didn’t surrender. He didn’t say that nuclear proliferation was acceptable. He said, “Guys, let’s talk about this.” And he said it at an auspicious time—their New Year.
Yesterday I saw the House and Senate go after bonuses at AIG as if they were pilgrims at a Sunday prime-time witch burning. When will they stop before they act and recognize what’s happening at this moment is today’s crisis?
If every politician were to read and understand a little history and a little of the Constitution they would realize their first job is not to pander to their constituents but to recognize that the future of these United States are in their hands.
Don’t make decisions based on this moment in the light of anger, fear and confusion. That’s a fool’s errand. Stop. Look into the future of the United States. The future we would like to produce. Look at the potential future of the world.
See a positive future for the United States and the world. Make decisions that move the United States in the direction of that positive future.
Don’t panic. Don’t rush one way today and reverse course tomorrow. They remind me of a flock of wild turkeys in a barn during a thunderstorm.
If you are going to run our country by popularity polls what does that bode for the sake of our children, grandchildren and great grandchildren?
It strikes me that Barack Obama has been president for only two months and already I believe he will prove himself a statesman.
In that same two months, the House and Senate of the United States of America have continued to prove that they’re pretenders. Blundering buffoons baying at their altar: expedience.
Yesterday I saw Barack Obama reach out to Iran and offer to start a dialogue about the future of the world. He didn’t surrender. He didn’t say that nuclear proliferation was acceptable. He said, “Guys, let’s talk about this.” And he said it at an auspicious time—their New Year.
Yesterday I saw the House and Senate go after bonuses at AIG as if they were pilgrims at a Sunday prime-time witch burning. When will they stop before they act and recognize what’s happening at this moment is today’s crisis?
If every politician were to read and understand a little history and a little of the Constitution they would realize their first job is not to pander to their constituents but to recognize that the future of these United States are in their hands.
Don’t make decisions based on this moment in the light of anger, fear and confusion. That’s a fool’s errand. Stop. Look into the future of the United States. The future we would like to produce. Look at the potential future of the world.
See a positive future for the United States and the world. Make decisions that move the United States in the direction of that positive future.
Don’t panic. Don’t rush one way today and reverse course tomorrow. They remind me of a flock of wild turkeys in a barn during a thunderstorm.
If you are going to run our country by popularity polls what does that bode for the sake of our children, grandchildren and great grandchildren?
Friday, March 20, 2009
Entenmann’s Little Bites – A Dark Comedy Product
Is Entenmann’s kidding? Have you seen this product?
I hope you haven’t purchased Little Bites unless you’re trying to feed your hamster.
Two, count them, two tiny muffins in each pouch that a hamster could fit in one cheek pouch.
A net weight of 6.6 ounces for Eight packs of muffins. That’s sixteen muffins. That’s .4 ounces per muffin. Four-tenths of an ounce of muffin.
And they advertise on the box, “Still 8 packs in a new smaller box.” These muffins are so tiny and insignificant you could almost wear one as a belly-button ornament. If they were packaged appropriately parents could see that Little Bites is a rotten product. If they were packaged appropriately you would pick up the box and say, “Why should I buy a box with nothing in it?”
The ones we bought were blueberry (Real Blueberries!) at $4.29 a box; that’s an incredible savings at only $1.53 an ounce! Do they think we’re insane. $1.53 for an ounce of muffin? I knew gold had gone up but I’m going to invest all my money in a muffin mine. At this price that’s $24.48 a pound.
Did you know for that price you could buy lobster?
A delicious apple in nature’s own packing is almost one-half pound of goodness for at most fifty cents to one dollar.
A single blueberry is almost bigger than these muffins.
And when you open the box, what do you find? Industrial strength wrapping. I’m absolutely, positively sure Entenmann’s is paying more for the packing and clever design than they do for the product inside. If there’s a nuclear war the roaches who survive won’t be able to chew their way into a package of Little Bites. Thank goodness.
Do they think we’re stupid?
And Entenmann’s clever verbiage on the box makes it look like a health food. No High Fructose corn syrup! O grams of transfat! Made with real blueberries! But if you look on the box the first ingredient is sugar(by law the ingredients have to be listed by quantity). Then, if you read on the “nutrition facts” you see that 35 calories out of every 100 calories are fat. Fat! The product is more than one-third fat!
Do you know how much fat there is in an apple?
If you are a label reader, the label will fool you because the muffins are so tiny it obscures what you’re buying.
Entenmann’s is so audacious they print the following statements on the box:
1. Little Bites are the right size for the whole family to enjoy(!!!)
2. The packaging is the right size and so saves energy and paper which benefits the earth.(!!!!!) – There’s so much plastic in the muffin wrappings that if you’re ever lost at sea you could build a life raft from just the plastic.
I do commend them on recommending that you recycle the box.
So if you want to feed yourself and your children sugar and fat, I suggest you lay in a big supply of Entenmanns Little Bites. They’re healthy and nutritious – almost.
Here we are during hard times giving it to AIG employees for getting bonuses; why don’t they give it to Entenmann’s for putting out a bogus product designed to confuse parents into feeding their children fat and sugar.
And why during hard times are they selling muffins for $24.48 a pound?
I hope you haven’t purchased Little Bites unless you’re trying to feed your hamster.
Two, count them, two tiny muffins in each pouch that a hamster could fit in one cheek pouch.
A net weight of 6.6 ounces for Eight packs of muffins. That’s sixteen muffins. That’s .4 ounces per muffin. Four-tenths of an ounce of muffin.
And they advertise on the box, “Still 8 packs in a new smaller box.” These muffins are so tiny and insignificant you could almost wear one as a belly-button ornament. If they were packaged appropriately parents could see that Little Bites is a rotten product. If they were packaged appropriately you would pick up the box and say, “Why should I buy a box with nothing in it?”
The ones we bought were blueberry (Real Blueberries!) at $4.29 a box; that’s an incredible savings at only $1.53 an ounce! Do they think we’re insane. $1.53 for an ounce of muffin? I knew gold had gone up but I’m going to invest all my money in a muffin mine. At this price that’s $24.48 a pound.
Did you know for that price you could buy lobster?
A delicious apple in nature’s own packing is almost one-half pound of goodness for at most fifty cents to one dollar.
A single blueberry is almost bigger than these muffins.
And when you open the box, what do you find? Industrial strength wrapping. I’m absolutely, positively sure Entenmann’s is paying more for the packing and clever design than they do for the product inside. If there’s a nuclear war the roaches who survive won’t be able to chew their way into a package of Little Bites. Thank goodness.
Do they think we’re stupid?
And Entenmann’s clever verbiage on the box makes it look like a health food. No High Fructose corn syrup! O grams of transfat! Made with real blueberries! But if you look on the box the first ingredient is sugar(by law the ingredients have to be listed by quantity). Then, if you read on the “nutrition facts” you see that 35 calories out of every 100 calories are fat. Fat! The product is more than one-third fat!
Do you know how much fat there is in an apple?
If you are a label reader, the label will fool you because the muffins are so tiny it obscures what you’re buying.
Entenmann’s is so audacious they print the following statements on the box:
1. Little Bites are the right size for the whole family to enjoy(!!!)
2. The packaging is the right size and so saves energy and paper which benefits the earth.(!!!!!) – There’s so much plastic in the muffin wrappings that if you’re ever lost at sea you could build a life raft from just the plastic.
I do commend them on recommending that you recycle the box.
So if you want to feed yourself and your children sugar and fat, I suggest you lay in a big supply of Entenmanns Little Bites. They’re healthy and nutritious – almost.
Here we are during hard times giving it to AIG employees for getting bonuses; why don’t they give it to Entenmann’s for putting out a bogus product designed to confuse parents into feeding their children fat and sugar.
And why during hard times are they selling muffins for $24.48 a pound?
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Darkly Comical Business Quotes
The law of harvest is to reap more than you sow. Sow an act, and you reap a habit; sow a habit, and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny. – G.D. Boardman
Have patience. All things are difficult before they become easy. – Saadi
It is where a man spends his money that shows where his heart lies. – A. Edwin Keigwin, D.D.
Details often kill initiative, but there have been few successful men who weren’t good at details. Don’t ignore details. – Wm B. Given, Jr.
Do not think that what our thoughts dwell upon is of no matter. Your thoughts are making you. – Bishop Steere
Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wings. Only one thing endures, and that is character. – Horace Greeley
When we have done our best, we should wait the result in peace. – J. Lubbock
If we are ever to enjoy life, now is the time—not tomorrow, nor next year, nor in some future life after we have died. The best preparation for a better life nest year is a full, complete, harmonious, joyous life this year. Our beliefs in a rich future life are of little importance, unless we coin them into a rich present life. Today should always be our most wonderful day. – Thomas Dreier
The only way for a rich man to be healthy is by exercise and abstinence, to live as if he were poor. – Sir W. Temple
It is hardly possible to suspect another without having in one’s self the seeds of the baseness the other is accused of. - Stanislaus
Have patience. All things are difficult before they become easy. – Saadi
It is where a man spends his money that shows where his heart lies. – A. Edwin Keigwin, D.D.
Details often kill initiative, but there have been few successful men who weren’t good at details. Don’t ignore details. – Wm B. Given, Jr.
Do not think that what our thoughts dwell upon is of no matter. Your thoughts are making you. – Bishop Steere
Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wings. Only one thing endures, and that is character. – Horace Greeley
When we have done our best, we should wait the result in peace. – J. Lubbock
If we are ever to enjoy life, now is the time—not tomorrow, nor next year, nor in some future life after we have died. The best preparation for a better life nest year is a full, complete, harmonious, joyous life this year. Our beliefs in a rich future life are of little importance, unless we coin them into a rich present life. Today should always be our most wonderful day. – Thomas Dreier
The only way for a rich man to be healthy is by exercise and abstinence, to live as if he were poor. – Sir W. Temple
It is hardly possible to suspect another without having in one’s self the seeds of the baseness the other is accused of. - Stanislaus
Darkly Comical Business Quotes
External things and opportunities so abound in American life that, instead of nurturing the true source of happiness, we tend to make it a direct aim. So we end in looking for happiness in possession of the external—in money, a good time, somebody to lean on, and so on. We are impatient, hurried and fretful because we do not find happiness where we look for it. - John Dewey
Great minds have purposes, others have wishes. - Washington Irving
The smallest actual good is better than the most magnificent promise of impossibilities. – Macaulay
There is work tat is work and there is play that is play; there is play that is work and work that is play. And in only one of these lies happiness. – Gelett Burgess
He who has health has hope; and he who has hope, has everything. – Arabian Proverb
You have a shilling. I have a shilling. We swap. You have my shilling and I have yours. We are no better off. But suppose you have an idea and I have an idea. We swap. Now you have two ideas and I have two ideas. We have increased our stock of ideas 100%. – A.S. Gregg
If you cannot make money on one dollar—if you do not coax one dollar to work hard for you, you won’t know how to make money out of one hundred thousand dollars. – E.S. Kinnear
Sometimes the best gain is to lose. – Herbert
During a very busy life I have often been asked, “How did you manage to do it all?” The answer is very simple: It is because I did everything promptly. – Sir Richard Tangye
Sorrow’s best antidote is employment. – Young
The saying that knowledge is power is not quite true. Used knowledge is power, and more than power. It is money, and service, and better living for our fellowmen, and a hundred other good things. But mere knowledge, left unused, has not power in it.
– Dr. Edward E. Free
Great minds have purposes, others have wishes. - Washington Irving
The smallest actual good is better than the most magnificent promise of impossibilities. – Macaulay
There is work tat is work and there is play that is play; there is play that is work and work that is play. And in only one of these lies happiness. – Gelett Burgess
He who has health has hope; and he who has hope, has everything. – Arabian Proverb
You have a shilling. I have a shilling. We swap. You have my shilling and I have yours. We are no better off. But suppose you have an idea and I have an idea. We swap. Now you have two ideas and I have two ideas. We have increased our stock of ideas 100%. – A.S. Gregg
If you cannot make money on one dollar—if you do not coax one dollar to work hard for you, you won’t know how to make money out of one hundred thousand dollars. – E.S. Kinnear
Sometimes the best gain is to lose. – Herbert
During a very busy life I have often been asked, “How did you manage to do it all?” The answer is very simple: It is because I did everything promptly. – Sir Richard Tangye
Sorrow’s best antidote is employment. – Young
The saying that knowledge is power is not quite true. Used knowledge is power, and more than power. It is money, and service, and better living for our fellowmen, and a hundred other good things. But mere knowledge, left unused, has not power in it.
– Dr. Edward E. Free
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Darkly Comical Business Quotes
What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us. What we have done for others and the world remainsand is immortal. Albert Pine
No man will ever be a big executive who feels that he must, either openly or under cover, follow up every order he gives and see that it is done – nor will he ever develop a capable assistant.
John Lee Mahin
Invention, strictly speaking, is little more than a new combination of those images that have been previously gathered and deposited in the memory. Nothing can be made of nothing; he who has laid up n o materials can produce no combinations. Sir J. Reynolds
The inlet of man’s mind is what he learns; the outlet is what he accomplishes. If his mind is not fed by a continued supply of new ideas that he puts to work with purpose, and if there is no outlet in action, his mind becomes stagnant. Such a mind is a danger to the individual who owns it and is useless to the community. Jeremiah W. Jenks
My clearest recollection of a long-ago interview with Thomas A. Edison is of a single sentence that was painted or hung on a wall of his room. In effect, the sentence was: “It is remarkable to what lengths people will go to avoid thought.” That is tragically true. Some of us think, more of us think we think, and most of us don’t even think of thinking. The result is a somewhat cockeyed world. Pollack
Knowledge cannot be stolen from us. It cannot be bought or sold. We may be poor, and the sheriff may come and sell our furniture, or drive away our cow, or take our pet lamb, and leave us homeless and penniless; but he cannot lay the law’s hand upon the jewelry of our minds. Burritt
Those who give have all things; those who withhold have nothing. – Hindu Proverb
Success is never final and failure never fatal. It’s courage that counts. George F. Tilton
Life’s greatest achievement is the continual re-making of yourself so that at last you know how to live. Winfred Rhodes
If the power to do hard work in not talent, it is the best possible substitute for it. James A Garfield
The easiest thing of all is to deceive one’s self; for what a man wishes he generally believes to be true.
Demosthenes
No man will ever be a big executive who feels that he must, either openly or under cover, follow up every order he gives and see that it is done – nor will he ever develop a capable assistant.
John Lee Mahin
Invention, strictly speaking, is little more than a new combination of those images that have been previously gathered and deposited in the memory. Nothing can be made of nothing; he who has laid up n o materials can produce no combinations. Sir J. Reynolds
The inlet of man’s mind is what he learns; the outlet is what he accomplishes. If his mind is not fed by a continued supply of new ideas that he puts to work with purpose, and if there is no outlet in action, his mind becomes stagnant. Such a mind is a danger to the individual who owns it and is useless to the community. Jeremiah W. Jenks
My clearest recollection of a long-ago interview with Thomas A. Edison is of a single sentence that was painted or hung on a wall of his room. In effect, the sentence was: “It is remarkable to what lengths people will go to avoid thought.” That is tragically true. Some of us think, more of us think we think, and most of us don’t even think of thinking. The result is a somewhat cockeyed world. Pollack
Knowledge cannot be stolen from us. It cannot be bought or sold. We may be poor, and the sheriff may come and sell our furniture, or drive away our cow, or take our pet lamb, and leave us homeless and penniless; but he cannot lay the law’s hand upon the jewelry of our minds. Burritt
Those who give have all things; those who withhold have nothing. – Hindu Proverb
Success is never final and failure never fatal. It’s courage that counts. George F. Tilton
Life’s greatest achievement is the continual re-making of yourself so that at last you know how to live. Winfred Rhodes
If the power to do hard work in not talent, it is the best possible substitute for it. James A Garfield
The easiest thing of all is to deceive one’s self; for what a man wishes he generally believes to be true.
Demosthenes
Monday, March 16, 2009
Darkly Comical Business Quotes
It is never safe to look into the future with eyes of fear.
E. H. Harriman
Perfectionism is a dangerous state of mind in an imperfect world. The best way is to forget doubts and set about the task at hand… If you are doing your best, you will not have time to worry about failure. Robert Hillyer
Those who give too much attention to trifling things become generally incapable of great ones. La Rochefoucauld
Four things come not back – the spoken word, the sped arrow, the past life, and the neglected opportunity. Arabian Proverb
Three things too much, and three too little are pernicious to man; to speak much, and know little; to spend much, and have little; to presume much, and be worth little. Cervantes
Business is never so healthy as when, like a chicken, it must do a certain amount of scratching for what it gets. Henry Ford
Circumstances are the rulers of the weak; they are but the instruments of the wise. Samuel Lover
If things are not going well with you, begin your efforts at correcting the situation by carefully examining the service you are rendering, and especially the spirit in which you are rendering it.
Roger Babson
Most business men generally are so busy coping with the immediate and piecemeal matters that there is a lamentable tendency to let the “long run” or future take care of itself. We often are so busy “putting out fires,” so to speak, that we find it difficult to do the planning that would prevent those fires from occurring in the first place. As a prominent educator has expressed it, Americans generally “spend so much time on things that are urgent that we have none left to spend on those that are important.
Gustav Metzman
Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.
Demosthenes
E. H. Harriman
Perfectionism is a dangerous state of mind in an imperfect world. The best way is to forget doubts and set about the task at hand… If you are doing your best, you will not have time to worry about failure. Robert Hillyer
Those who give too much attention to trifling things become generally incapable of great ones. La Rochefoucauld
Four things come not back – the spoken word, the sped arrow, the past life, and the neglected opportunity. Arabian Proverb
Three things too much, and three too little are pernicious to man; to speak much, and know little; to spend much, and have little; to presume much, and be worth little. Cervantes
Business is never so healthy as when, like a chicken, it must do a certain amount of scratching for what it gets. Henry Ford
Circumstances are the rulers of the weak; they are but the instruments of the wise. Samuel Lover
If things are not going well with you, begin your efforts at correcting the situation by carefully examining the service you are rendering, and especially the spirit in which you are rendering it.
Roger Babson
Most business men generally are so busy coping with the immediate and piecemeal matters that there is a lamentable tendency to let the “long run” or future take care of itself. We often are so busy “putting out fires,” so to speak, that we find it difficult to do the planning that would prevent those fires from occurring in the first place. As a prominent educator has expressed it, Americans generally “spend so much time on things that are urgent that we have none left to spend on those that are important.
Gustav Metzman
Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.
Demosthenes
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Dark Comedy Politics
A gift from a friend - Durry Garbutt. Enjoy.
545 vs. 300,000,000
EVERY CITIZEN NEEDS TO READ THIS AND THINK ABOUT WHAT THIS JOURNALIST HAS SCRIPTED IN THIS MESSAGE. READ IT AND THEN REALLY THINK ABOUT OUR CURRENT POLITICAL DEBACLE.
Charley Reese has been a journalist for 49 years.
545 PEOPLE
By Charlie Reese
Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.
Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, WHY do we have deficits?
Have you ever wondered, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes?
You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.
You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of representatives does.
You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.
You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.
You and I don't control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.
One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court justices, 545 human beings out of the 300 million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.
I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered, but private, central bank.
I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman, or a president to do one cotton-picking thing. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash.
The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.
Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.
What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits. The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it.
The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House? Nancy Pelosi. She is the leader of the majority party.
She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.
It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.
If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.
If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red .
If the Army & Marines are in IRAQ , it's because they want them in IRAQ.
If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.
There are no insoluble government problems.
Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like "the economy," "inflation," or "politics" that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.
Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.
They, and they alone, have the power.
They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses. Provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees.
We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!
Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel Newspaper.
What you do with this article now that you have read it.......... is up to you.
545 vs. 300,000,000
EVERY CITIZEN NEEDS TO READ THIS AND THINK ABOUT WHAT THIS JOURNALIST HAS SCRIPTED IN THIS MESSAGE. READ IT AND THEN REALLY THINK ABOUT OUR CURRENT POLITICAL DEBACLE.
Charley Reese has been a journalist for 49 years.
545 PEOPLE
By Charlie Reese
Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.
Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, WHY do we have deficits?
Have you ever wondered, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes?
You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.
You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of representatives does.
You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.
You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.
You and I don't control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.
One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court justices, 545 human beings out of the 300 million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.
I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered, but private, central bank.
I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman, or a president to do one cotton-picking thing. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash.
The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.
Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.
What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits. The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it.
The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House? Nancy Pelosi. She is the leader of the majority party.
She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.
It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.
If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.
If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red .
If the Army & Marines are in IRAQ , it's because they want them in IRAQ.
If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.
There are no insoluble government problems.
Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like "the economy," "inflation," or "politics" that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.
Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.
They, and they alone, have the power.
They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses. Provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees.
We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!
Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel Newspaper.
What you do with this article now that you have read it.......... is up to you.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes
The other day a dog peed on me. A bad sign.- H.L. Menchen
Never mistake motion for action
- Ernest Hemingway
A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.
- Sir Barnett Cocks
Only dead fish swim with the stream
– Unknown
It’s not what we don’t know that hurts, it’s what we know that ain’t so.
– Will Rogers
Ford used to have a better idea; now they don’t have a clue
- Steve Kravitz
She was what we used to call a suicide blonde—dyed by her own hand
- Saul Bellow
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
- Unknown
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow.
- Jeff Valdez
Love is the crocodile on the river of desire.
- Bhartrihari (ca.625)
When you are in love with someone you want to be near him all the time, except when you are out buying things and charging them to him.
- Miss Piggy
Veni, Vidi, Visa. (We came, we saw, we went shopping.)
- Jan Barrett
Never mistake motion for action
- Ernest Hemingway
A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.
- Sir Barnett Cocks
Only dead fish swim with the stream
– Unknown
It’s not what we don’t know that hurts, it’s what we know that ain’t so.
– Will Rogers
Ford used to have a better idea; now they don’t have a clue
- Steve Kravitz
She was what we used to call a suicide blonde—dyed by her own hand
- Saul Bellow
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
- Unknown
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow.
- Jeff Valdez
Love is the crocodile on the river of desire.
- Bhartrihari (ca.625)
When you are in love with someone you want to be near him all the time, except when you are out buying things and charging them to him.
- Miss Piggy
Veni, Vidi, Visa. (We came, we saw, we went shopping.)
- Jan Barrett
Darkly Comical Quotes
My parents put a live teddy bear in my crib.
- Woody Allen
It is better to be a mouse in a cat’s mouth than a man in a lawyer’s hands
– Spanish proverb
Two farmers each claimed to own a certain cow. While one pulled on its head and the other pulled on its tail, the cow was milked by a lawyer. - Jewish parable
Whatever their contributions to our society, lawyer could be an important source of protein. - Guindon cartoon caption
Men have become the tools of their tools.
-Henry David Thoreau
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russel
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television
– Unknown
What luck for rulers that men do not think.
- Adolf Hitler
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilites. Truth isn’t. - Mark Twain
Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae. – Kurt Vonnegut
The world is divided into two classes—invalids and nurses.
– James McNeill Whistler (1834-1903)
- Woody Allen
It is better to be a mouse in a cat’s mouth than a man in a lawyer’s hands
– Spanish proverb
Two farmers each claimed to own a certain cow. While one pulled on its head and the other pulled on its tail, the cow was milked by a lawyer. - Jewish parable
Whatever their contributions to our society, lawyer could be an important source of protein. - Guindon cartoon caption
Men have become the tools of their tools.
-Henry David Thoreau
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russel
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television
– Unknown
What luck for rulers that men do not think.
- Adolf Hitler
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilites. Truth isn’t. - Mark Twain
Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae. – Kurt Vonnegut
The world is divided into two classes—invalids and nurses.
– James McNeill Whistler (1834-1903)
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes
Middle age begins with the first mortgage and ends when you drop dead.
- Herb Caen
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize I’m going to miss mine by just a few days. - Garrison Keillor
I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: what the hell good would that do?
- Ronnie Shakes
Never invest in anything that eats or needs repairing. - Billy Rose
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
-George Burns
He without benefit of scruples
His fun and money soon quadruples
- Ogden Nash (1902-1971)
A bore is someone who, when you ask how he is, tells you.
- variously ascribed
I am a kind of a paranoic in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.
- J.D. Salinger
Any new venture goes through the following stages: enthusiasm, complication, disillusionment, search for the guilty, punishment of the innocent, and decoration of those who did nothing. - unknown
My schoolmates would make love to anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself. - Emo Philips
- Herb Caen
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize I’m going to miss mine by just a few days. - Garrison Keillor
I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: what the hell good would that do?
- Ronnie Shakes
Never invest in anything that eats or needs repairing. - Billy Rose
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
-George Burns
He without benefit of scruples
His fun and money soon quadruples
- Ogden Nash (1902-1971)
A bore is someone who, when you ask how he is, tells you.
- variously ascribed
I am a kind of a paranoic in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.
- J.D. Salinger
Any new venture goes through the following stages: enthusiasm, complication, disillusionment, search for the guilty, punishment of the innocent, and decoration of those who did nothing. - unknown
My schoolmates would make love to anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself. - Emo Philips
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes by Steven Wright
I got this via email this morning and I liked it so much I'm just going to pass it on.
Thank you,
PeoplePC Online
A better way to Internet
If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates." His mind sees things differently than most of us do, to our amazement and amusement. Here are some of his gems:
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ...... but she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever.... so far, so good.
20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
And an all time favorite-
34 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
________________________________________
PeoplePC Online
A better way to Internet
Thank you,
PeoplePC Online
A better way to Internet
If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates." His mind sees things differently than most of us do, to our amazement and amusement. Here are some of his gems:
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ...... but she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever.... so far, so good.
20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
And an all time favorite-
34 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
________________________________________
PeoplePC Online
A better way to Internet
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes on Food
No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.
- Covert Bailey
She was so wild that when she made French toast she got her tongue caught in the toaster - Rodney Dangerfield
The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley,Jr.
Cogito ergo dim sum. (Therefore I think these are pork buns) - Robert Byrne
In Mexico we have a word for sushi: bait
- Jose Simon
I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don’t require so much cooking. - Carrie Snow
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain
Ignore previous cookie.
– Message in a fortune cookie
There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
Statistics show that those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.
- Wallace Irwin (1875-1959)
- Covert Bailey
She was so wild that when she made French toast she got her tongue caught in the toaster - Rodney Dangerfield
The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley,Jr.
Cogito ergo dim sum. (Therefore I think these are pork buns) - Robert Byrne
In Mexico we have a word for sushi: bait
- Jose Simon
I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don’t require so much cooking. - Carrie Snow
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain
Ignore previous cookie.
– Message in a fortune cookie
There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
Statistics show that those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.
- Wallace Irwin (1875-1959)
Saturday, March 7, 2009
The Devil Makes Girl Scout Cookies
I took the following information from an article entitled: Girl Scout Cookies and your thighs.
- It's fine to talk about moderation, but what if you're one of those people for whom the "suggested serving size" is never enough when it comes to Girl Scout cookies?
Believe it or not, two or three cookies will go a long way when you really savor every bite.
Megrette Hammond, RD, CDE, MEd, executive director of The Center for Mindful Eating and co-author of Discover Mindful Eating, says one way to heighten your mindfulness while eating fattening treats is by changing your sensory environment. For example, to "tune in" when eating a serving of cookies, change up their temperature (by eating cookies straight from the refrigerator or freezer) or texture (eat a crisp cookie, and then a soft cookie).
"We often tune out when we eat the same things over and over again," Hammond says.
Another trick is to "reset" your palate in between bites of cookie by sipping a cup of tea or mineral water. This way, your taste buds will really notice each bite of cookie.
And make sure you're not overly hungry when you open that sleeve of those magical mint cookies. You don’t want to put yourself in a situation that makes it difficult for you to eat a moderate amount, Hammond says. -
Actually this material came from an artilce entitled: Surviving Girl Scout Cookie Season from Web MD written by Elaine Magee and reviewed by Dr. Louis Chang. I’m sure these people are well meaning and caring professionals. They’re just wrong.
I have some advice for you from a lowly veterinarian (to be read as, “not a real doctor”) – When times get crazy raise your head from your foxhole and take a look for yourself. Eating today and today’s economy are prime examples of this.
Here is a truth you need to hear – One of the prime reasons people are fat is the foodstuffs people eat. The day the dietary industrial complex convinced the American people that fat was the enemy was a dark unhealthy day.
Fat is not your enemy. Fat is your friend.
Balance is your friend.
The people who are alive today all had ancestors who were able to survive famine.
And not just one famine. Probably, periodic famine. Multiple famines. Sometimes these famines were general and sometimes they were famines of only one nutrient. This is built into your genome because only the people who survived these famines passed on their genes.
We’re designed to survive famines. Famines of all varieties.
When you send an artificial message to your body that famine has arrived, how does your body react?
I would go further and say that what’s diagnosed, today, as type two diabetes is a natural part of the human body designed to promote survival during times of famine.
People were not designed to work 60-80 hours a week. Our ancestors in the times of hunting and gathering probably worked about 20-22 hours a week.
And what did they do the rest of the time? They partook of rituals and personal interaction, preparing meals, playing games, having fun and fooling around. They had the time to enjoy their lives. Enjoy their families. And how many children do you think they had and how many were they able to raise and educate? Mortality and child mortality were higher, so they had a few extra. And what did they eat?
They ate what was available at that moment.
People’s bodies are designed to work properly under an amazing variety of situations.
People were not designed to be under the constant stress of long work hours and constant fear, like the fear of debt and the fears of losing your job and home. Your adrenal glands were designed for occasional fight and flight reactions. When you ran into a bear your adrenal glands filled your body with epinephrine and you ran like hell or fought like hell.
Every day the average American is flooding their body with adrenal hormones. And you know what? They’re addictive. You actually, at first, feel better because of a frantic stress-filled life. But when your adrenal glands are exhausted, you’re done. Toasted. Ever wonder why you have times you feel extreme exhaustion? And how do you react to it?
The modern world, with all its time saving devices, forces you to work longer and harder to pay the bills. Working longer and harder, to the point of exhaustion, used to go by another name – Slavery.
Today’s America was designed by a small number of people who own 80% of the wealth. It was designed to enslave you through debt. I don’t believe these people even realize they’re doing it. It’s often the result of trying to squeeze ever-improving results from their businesses and the very nature of the corporation. They believe they’re helping. Creating jobs. Building a better America and a better world.
And the people who make cookies and foods with no soul believe they’re doing the right thing.
Fat is mother nature’s helper. When you eat something with fat or protein your body says, “That was good and I’m feeling full. I feel better. Thank you. I think I’ll have a nap.”
Fat makes your body feel a sense of satiety. When you don’t get enough fat or protein your body says, “Hey, that wasn’t satisfying. I’m not full. Feed me.”
And it’s not just one cell (your body is made up of millions of microscopic living building blocks called cells) in your body calling for more. It’s every cell that’s deficient in any nutrient it needs. If a cell is shorted on any vital ingredient, and the transport system’s not bringing what it needs, it send out a message. “Help me now. I desperately need…”
Your brain has lots of fatty material. What does it call for? It calls for energy. It calls for fat. It calls for every nutrient it needs to function at it’s best. A low fat, no fat diet doesn’t make your brain happy.
And when we are stressed and the brain distressed what happens if your brain discovers alcohol or drugs? How does it react? Give Me Some More.
By eating the processed low carbohydrate food you are fooling your body in a way that promotes weight gain. When you send a message to your body that there’s not enough food (i.e. commonly called dieting) your body reacts and ultimately says, “Gee, when times are good again I better pack on a few extra extra reserves because the next time there’s famine I might not survive.” And what form do those extra reserves take? Your body must think fat is an important survival resource.
And what does repeatedly sending famine messages do to you?
Your body (and every cell within your body) is motivated by survival. Do you think you have the will power to overcome every cell in your body?
Have you ever noticed when you sit down and eat something that’s 99.9% carbohydrate in no time you want more? And more?
Today we live longer, but are we living?
Mother nature wants a sense of balance. We can survive lots of different eating situations but your body was never designed for grocery stores.
Do the following - When it’s Girl Scout cookie season buy two boxes. Two boxes of your favorites. If in doubt, buy three. Sit down and eat the whole sleeve. Feel that sense of being alive and happy. Now, don’t buy any more. And don’t buy any product that says “low fat” or “reduced fat” These are the products of well meaning people who are wrong.
Better yet, when you are going to have cookies three times a year, bake them yourself with the best ingredients. Enjoy them. Send your body a message that says, “Times are good. We’re happy.”
Send every cell in your body what it needs.
Now get out there and have fun. It doesn’t cost much to do fun stuff that you create for yourself. Go for a walk with your kids. Go for a bike ride.
Start slow. If you over do, every cell in your body will send a message that says, “Don’t do that again.” Or, you might just die. It happens.
And sure your kids will complain. They’ll get over it. With a little practice, they’ll enjoy the outside. They’ll enjoy exercise.
You don’t need a new car. You need some balance in your diet. You need balance in your life.
If you catch yourself using the word diet as a verb, stop, say the word “cancel” out loud. Then ask yourself: can I overcome the needs and desires of every cell in my body?
Play. Have rituals. Eat good foods. Fool around. Send your cells every nutrient they need. Don’t mess with Mother Nature.
- It's fine to talk about moderation, but what if you're one of those people for whom the "suggested serving size" is never enough when it comes to Girl Scout cookies?
Believe it or not, two or three cookies will go a long way when you really savor every bite.
Megrette Hammond, RD, CDE, MEd, executive director of The Center for Mindful Eating and co-author of Discover Mindful Eating, says one way to heighten your mindfulness while eating fattening treats is by changing your sensory environment. For example, to "tune in" when eating a serving of cookies, change up their temperature (by eating cookies straight from the refrigerator or freezer) or texture (eat a crisp cookie, and then a soft cookie).
"We often tune out when we eat the same things over and over again," Hammond says.
Another trick is to "reset" your palate in between bites of cookie by sipping a cup of tea or mineral water. This way, your taste buds will really notice each bite of cookie.
And make sure you're not overly hungry when you open that sleeve of those magical mint cookies. You don’t want to put yourself in a situation that makes it difficult for you to eat a moderate amount, Hammond says. -
Actually this material came from an artilce entitled: Surviving Girl Scout Cookie Season from Web MD written by Elaine Magee and reviewed by Dr. Louis Chang. I’m sure these people are well meaning and caring professionals. They’re just wrong.
I have some advice for you from a lowly veterinarian (to be read as, “not a real doctor”) – When times get crazy raise your head from your foxhole and take a look for yourself. Eating today and today’s economy are prime examples of this.
Here is a truth you need to hear – One of the prime reasons people are fat is the foodstuffs people eat. The day the dietary industrial complex convinced the American people that fat was the enemy was a dark unhealthy day.
Fat is not your enemy. Fat is your friend.
Balance is your friend.
The people who are alive today all had ancestors who were able to survive famine.
And not just one famine. Probably, periodic famine. Multiple famines. Sometimes these famines were general and sometimes they were famines of only one nutrient. This is built into your genome because only the people who survived these famines passed on their genes.
We’re designed to survive famines. Famines of all varieties.
When you send an artificial message to your body that famine has arrived, how does your body react?
I would go further and say that what’s diagnosed, today, as type two diabetes is a natural part of the human body designed to promote survival during times of famine.
People were not designed to work 60-80 hours a week. Our ancestors in the times of hunting and gathering probably worked about 20-22 hours a week.
And what did they do the rest of the time? They partook of rituals and personal interaction, preparing meals, playing games, having fun and fooling around. They had the time to enjoy their lives. Enjoy their families. And how many children do you think they had and how many were they able to raise and educate? Mortality and child mortality were higher, so they had a few extra. And what did they eat?
They ate what was available at that moment.
People’s bodies are designed to work properly under an amazing variety of situations.
People were not designed to be under the constant stress of long work hours and constant fear, like the fear of debt and the fears of losing your job and home. Your adrenal glands were designed for occasional fight and flight reactions. When you ran into a bear your adrenal glands filled your body with epinephrine and you ran like hell or fought like hell.
Every day the average American is flooding their body with adrenal hormones. And you know what? They’re addictive. You actually, at first, feel better because of a frantic stress-filled life. But when your adrenal glands are exhausted, you’re done. Toasted. Ever wonder why you have times you feel extreme exhaustion? And how do you react to it?
The modern world, with all its time saving devices, forces you to work longer and harder to pay the bills. Working longer and harder, to the point of exhaustion, used to go by another name – Slavery.
Today’s America was designed by a small number of people who own 80% of the wealth. It was designed to enslave you through debt. I don’t believe these people even realize they’re doing it. It’s often the result of trying to squeeze ever-improving results from their businesses and the very nature of the corporation. They believe they’re helping. Creating jobs. Building a better America and a better world.
And the people who make cookies and foods with no soul believe they’re doing the right thing.
Fat is mother nature’s helper. When you eat something with fat or protein your body says, “That was good and I’m feeling full. I feel better. Thank you. I think I’ll have a nap.”
Fat makes your body feel a sense of satiety. When you don’t get enough fat or protein your body says, “Hey, that wasn’t satisfying. I’m not full. Feed me.”
And it’s not just one cell (your body is made up of millions of microscopic living building blocks called cells) in your body calling for more. It’s every cell that’s deficient in any nutrient it needs. If a cell is shorted on any vital ingredient, and the transport system’s not bringing what it needs, it send out a message. “Help me now. I desperately need…”
Your brain has lots of fatty material. What does it call for? It calls for energy. It calls for fat. It calls for every nutrient it needs to function at it’s best. A low fat, no fat diet doesn’t make your brain happy.
And when we are stressed and the brain distressed what happens if your brain discovers alcohol or drugs? How does it react? Give Me Some More.
By eating the processed low carbohydrate food you are fooling your body in a way that promotes weight gain. When you send a message to your body that there’s not enough food (i.e. commonly called dieting) your body reacts and ultimately says, “Gee, when times are good again I better pack on a few extra extra reserves because the next time there’s famine I might not survive.” And what form do those extra reserves take? Your body must think fat is an important survival resource.
And what does repeatedly sending famine messages do to you?
Your body (and every cell within your body) is motivated by survival. Do you think you have the will power to overcome every cell in your body?
Have you ever noticed when you sit down and eat something that’s 99.9% carbohydrate in no time you want more? And more?
Today we live longer, but are we living?
Mother nature wants a sense of balance. We can survive lots of different eating situations but your body was never designed for grocery stores.
Do the following - When it’s Girl Scout cookie season buy two boxes. Two boxes of your favorites. If in doubt, buy three. Sit down and eat the whole sleeve. Feel that sense of being alive and happy. Now, don’t buy any more. And don’t buy any product that says “low fat” or “reduced fat” These are the products of well meaning people who are wrong.
Better yet, when you are going to have cookies three times a year, bake them yourself with the best ingredients. Enjoy them. Send your body a message that says, “Times are good. We’re happy.”
Send every cell in your body what it needs.
Now get out there and have fun. It doesn’t cost much to do fun stuff that you create for yourself. Go for a walk with your kids. Go for a bike ride.
Start slow. If you over do, every cell in your body will send a message that says, “Don’t do that again.” Or, you might just die. It happens.
And sure your kids will complain. They’ll get over it. With a little practice, they’ll enjoy the outside. They’ll enjoy exercise.
You don’t need a new car. You need some balance in your diet. You need balance in your life.
If you catch yourself using the word diet as a verb, stop, say the word “cancel” out loud. Then ask yourself: can I overcome the needs and desires of every cell in my body?
Play. Have rituals. Eat good foods. Fool around. Send your cells every nutrient they need. Don’t mess with Mother Nature.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Darkly Comical Insults
America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization. – Geroges Clemenceau – French statesman
If a traveler were informed that such a man was the Leader of the House of Commons, he might begin to comprehend how the Egyptians worshipped an insect.
- Benjamin Disraeli – on fellow politician Lord John Russel California is a fine place to live – if you happen to be an orange – Fred Allen
McKinley has a chocolate-éclair backbone.
- Theodore Roosevelt while vice president under McKinley
The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children.
- The Duke of Windsor (1894- 1972)
One of our Puritan forebears greeted his daughter arriving late at the breakfast table.
“Child of the Deil.”
To which she replied:
“Good morning, father.”
An infatuated young man was sending his girl friend a cable which read:
“Ozzy loves his Woozy, Woozy, Woozy.”
“You can add another ‘Woozy’ without it costing any more,” said the desk clerk.
“No, thanks,” replied the young man. “I think that would sound rather silly.”
I liked your opera. I think I will set it to music. – Ludwig van Beethoven
The only man, woman, or child who wrote a simple declarative sentence with seven grammatical errors is dead. – e.e. cummings (On president Warren Hardings death)
They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge. – Thomas Reed (1773-1833) - Speaker of the House of Representatives – on members of the U.S. Congress
If a traveler were informed that such a man was the Leader of the House of Commons, he might begin to comprehend how the Egyptians worshipped an insect.
- Benjamin Disraeli – on fellow politician Lord John Russel California is a fine place to live – if you happen to be an orange – Fred Allen
McKinley has a chocolate-éclair backbone.
- Theodore Roosevelt while vice president under McKinley
The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children.
- The Duke of Windsor (1894- 1972)
One of our Puritan forebears greeted his daughter arriving late at the breakfast table.
“Child of the Deil.”
To which she replied:
“Good morning, father.”
An infatuated young man was sending his girl friend a cable which read:
“Ozzy loves his Woozy, Woozy, Woozy.”
“You can add another ‘Woozy’ without it costing any more,” said the desk clerk.
“No, thanks,” replied the young man. “I think that would sound rather silly.”
I liked your opera. I think I will set it to music. – Ludwig van Beethoven
The only man, woman, or child who wrote a simple declarative sentence with seven grammatical errors is dead. – e.e. cummings (On president Warren Hardings death)
They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge. – Thomas Reed (1773-1833) - Speaker of the House of Representatives – on members of the U.S. Congress
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
The Best Smoked Fish Spread
There are many ways people prepare a spread of smoked fish. Begin with a generous amount of good smoked fish. When I make it for four people I use ½ pound. I prefer is amberjack and I remove dark veins and skin.
I keep it simple: I chop the fish into fine chunks, mix in mayonnaise, horseradish, hot sauce and fresh lemon or lime juice to get it to an easily spreadable consistency, break out the crackers and enjoy.
Some people add whipped cream cheese to the above mixture. If you choose to do that you may need a little more hot sauce and horseradish.
You can prepare this early in the day, refrigerate and have it ready in time for afternoon cocktails. The flavors improve as they blend together.
I have seen recipes prepared with low fat mayonnaise and low fat cream cheese. I consider that a waste of good fish- don’t worry about the fat, the sodium alone is enough to kill you.
Enjoy - A Gift From the Sea
I keep it simple: I chop the fish into fine chunks, mix in mayonnaise, horseradish, hot sauce and fresh lemon or lime juice to get it to an easily spreadable consistency, break out the crackers and enjoy.
Some people add whipped cream cheese to the above mixture. If you choose to do that you may need a little more hot sauce and horseradish.
You can prepare this early in the day, refrigerate and have it ready in time for afternoon cocktails. The flavors improve as they blend together.
I have seen recipes prepared with low fat mayonnaise and low fat cream cheese. I consider that a waste of good fish- don’t worry about the fat, the sodium alone is enough to kill you.
Enjoy - A Gift From the Sea
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Darkly Comical Last Words
John Sedgwick American Civil War general carelessly peering over the parapet at the battle of Spotsylvania:
“They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dista ..”
Robert Taft to his wife
“Well, Martha .. Glad to see you looking so well.”
Carl Panzram Executed for murdering 23 people
– “I wish the human race had one neck and I had my hands round it.”
Edward “Death Valley Scotty” Scott (American recluse died 1954
“I got four things to live by: don’t say nothin’ that will hurt anybody; don’t give advice—nobody will take it anyway; don’t complain; don’t explain.”
Gram Parsons Rock musician – after being told his drug use would kill him –
“Death is a warm cloak and old friend. I regard death as something that comes up on a roulette wheel every once in a while.”
Anthony Drexel III – Demonstrating a new pistol
– “Here’s one you’ve never seen..”
Alexander the Great – Upon being asked on his deathbed who was to succeed him –
“The strongest.”
Nikolai Rubinstein founder of the Moscow Conservatoire -
“Oysters! Nothing will do me as much good as a dozen cold oysters and an ice afterwords.”
Norman Baesell – Air Force Major flying the aircraft in which bandleader Glenn Miller disappeared over the English Channel -
“What’s the matter, Miller, do you want to live forever?”
Manfred von Richthofen (the Red Baron)- WWI fighter pilot to his mechanics -
“Don’t you think I’ll be back?”
Joseph Duveen, English Art Dealer after living beyond all medical prognoses -
“Well, I fooled them for five years.”
Richard Halliburton – Writer and explorer – Final message sent from his ship sinking in the Pacific – “Southerly gales, squalls, lee rail under water, wet bunks, hard tack, bully beef, wish you were here—instead of me!”
Richard Fairbanks, Sr. – Actor
“I’ve never felt better!”
Morgan Earp – Lawman dying in the OK Corral, he finally agreed with his brother’s views on the afterllife
“I guess you were right, Wyatt. I can’t see a damned thing.”
James Cross – Scottish physicist after a life of abstention, he requested spirits on his deathbed –
“I’ll take a wee drop of that. I don’t think there’s much fear of me learning to drink now.”
Elisa Bonaprte – Sister of Napoleon on being told that nothing was as certain as death –
“Except taxes.”
“I’ve had eighteen straight whiskies. I think that’s the record.” – Dylan Thomas the Welsh Poet
James Thurber’s last words -
“God bless .. God damn ..”
Oscar Wilde calling for champagne on his death bed -
“I am dying, as I have lived, beyond my means”
“Splendid, the finale just a little too fast.”
Eugene Ysaye – Violinist listening to his own sonata
Richard Loeb – Murderer – Killed in a prison fight with another inmate, Loeb was slashed with a razor 56 times:
“I think I’m going to make it.”
John Luthor Jones Casey Jones – railroad locomotive engineer –
“For I’m going to run her till she leaves the rail—or make it on time with the southbound mail.”
“They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dista ..”
Robert Taft to his wife
“Well, Martha .. Glad to see you looking so well.”
Carl Panzram Executed for murdering 23 people
– “I wish the human race had one neck and I had my hands round it.”
Edward “Death Valley Scotty” Scott (American recluse died 1954
“I got four things to live by: don’t say nothin’ that will hurt anybody; don’t give advice—nobody will take it anyway; don’t complain; don’t explain.”
Gram Parsons Rock musician – after being told his drug use would kill him –
“Death is a warm cloak and old friend. I regard death as something that comes up on a roulette wheel every once in a while.”
Anthony Drexel III – Demonstrating a new pistol
– “Here’s one you’ve never seen..”
Alexander the Great – Upon being asked on his deathbed who was to succeed him –
“The strongest.”
Nikolai Rubinstein founder of the Moscow Conservatoire -
“Oysters! Nothing will do me as much good as a dozen cold oysters and an ice afterwords.”
Norman Baesell – Air Force Major flying the aircraft in which bandleader Glenn Miller disappeared over the English Channel -
“What’s the matter, Miller, do you want to live forever?”
Manfred von Richthofen (the Red Baron)- WWI fighter pilot to his mechanics -
“Don’t you think I’ll be back?”
Joseph Duveen, English Art Dealer after living beyond all medical prognoses -
“Well, I fooled them for five years.”
Richard Halliburton – Writer and explorer – Final message sent from his ship sinking in the Pacific – “Southerly gales, squalls, lee rail under water, wet bunks, hard tack, bully beef, wish you were here—instead of me!”
Richard Fairbanks, Sr. – Actor
“I’ve never felt better!”
Morgan Earp – Lawman dying in the OK Corral, he finally agreed with his brother’s views on the afterllife
“I guess you were right, Wyatt. I can’t see a damned thing.”
James Cross – Scottish physicist after a life of abstention, he requested spirits on his deathbed –
“I’ll take a wee drop of that. I don’t think there’s much fear of me learning to drink now.”
Elisa Bonaprte – Sister of Napoleon on being told that nothing was as certain as death –
“Except taxes.”
“I’ve had eighteen straight whiskies. I think that’s the record.” – Dylan Thomas the Welsh Poet
James Thurber’s last words -
“God bless .. God damn ..”
Oscar Wilde calling for champagne on his death bed -
“I am dying, as I have lived, beyond my means”
“Splendid, the finale just a little too fast.”
Eugene Ysaye – Violinist listening to his own sonata
Richard Loeb – Murderer – Killed in a prison fight with another inmate, Loeb was slashed with a razor 56 times:
“I think I’m going to make it.”
John Luthor Jones Casey Jones – railroad locomotive engineer –
“For I’m going to run her till she leaves the rail—or make it on time with the southbound mail.”
Monday, March 2, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes – Joseph Heller
Joseph Heller 5/1/1923 – 12/12/1999 served as a blacksmith’s apprentice, B-25 bombardier (60 combat missions), Fulbright scholar, Composition instructor, copywriter at an advertising agency (where he worded alongside Mary Higgins Clark), satirical novelist, television writer and playwright.
His favorite work, Catch 22, was listed number 7 on Modern Library’s list of the top 100 novels of the century.
Joseph Heller Quotes
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Rise above principal and do what’s right.
How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?
The truth is whatever people will believe is the truth. Don’t you know history?
He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
Open you eyes, Clevinger. It doesn’t make a dammed bit of difference who wins the war to someone who’s dead.
Clevinger was dead. That was the basic flaw in his philosophy.
The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he’s on.
There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one’s safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn’t, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn’t have to; but if he didn’t want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.
“That’s some catch, that Catch-22,” he observed.
“It’s the best there is,” Doc Daneeka agreed.
His favorite work, Catch 22, was listed number 7 on Modern Library’s list of the top 100 novels of the century.
Joseph Heller Quotes
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Rise above principal and do what’s right.
How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?
The truth is whatever people will believe is the truth. Don’t you know history?
He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
Open you eyes, Clevinger. It doesn’t make a dammed bit of difference who wins the war to someone who’s dead.
Clevinger was dead. That was the basic flaw in his philosophy.
The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he’s on.
There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one’s safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn’t, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn’t have to; but if he didn’t want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.
“That’s some catch, that Catch-22,” he observed.
“It’s the best there is,” Doc Daneeka agreed.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Woo Burgers in Paradise
To celebrate Theophilous Thorne-Bush's new book getting to the final editing phase I'd like to share a family recipe - Woo Burgers in Paradise
Burgers with a bite!
This is a burger that looks innocent on the outside but has a hot surprise inside.
Slightly beat an egg in a large bowl, add 2 pounds of lean ground beef, salt and pepper to taste and mix it up with your hands.
Place ¾ cup of the hottest salsa you can find in a strainer and allow most of the liquid to drain off.
Grate one cup sharp cheddar cheese and mix it with the drained salsa. You could throw in one tsp. of hot chili flakes for extra heat. You want this mixture to have a consistency that allows you to form a walnut sized ball to place in the middle of each burger. Chilling in the refrigerator for an hour makes this combination easier to handle.
Fire up the grill. While it’s heating, form thin burgers. Place your hot surprise between two of your thin patties making one solid burger with your hot spot in the middle. Pinch the sides of the burgers so none of the cheese/salsa mix oozes out during the cooking. That would ruin the surprise. Grill to your liking. A nice balance with this burger would be a grilled slab of onion to place on top and your favorite cold beer.
Burgers with a bite!
This is a burger that looks innocent on the outside but has a hot surprise inside.
Slightly beat an egg in a large bowl, add 2 pounds of lean ground beef, salt and pepper to taste and mix it up with your hands.
Place ¾ cup of the hottest salsa you can find in a strainer and allow most of the liquid to drain off.
Grate one cup sharp cheddar cheese and mix it with the drained salsa. You could throw in one tsp. of hot chili flakes for extra heat. You want this mixture to have a consistency that allows you to form a walnut sized ball to place in the middle of each burger. Chilling in the refrigerator for an hour makes this combination easier to handle.
Fire up the grill. While it’s heating, form thin burgers. Place your hot surprise between two of your thin patties making one solid burger with your hot spot in the middle. Pinch the sides of the burgers so none of the cheese/salsa mix oozes out during the cooking. That would ruin the surprise. Grill to your liking. A nice balance with this burger would be a grilled slab of onion to place on top and your favorite cold beer.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
