Why I Hate the Honorable Jamie Lee Curtis

Jamie Lee Curtis, a.k.a. The Scream Queen, a.k.a. Baroness Haden Guest of Saling in the county of Essex, a.k.a. The Body, a.k.a. Mrs. Christopher Guest, a.k.a. Lady Haden Guest, a.k.a. Jamie Lee Schwartz, a.k.a. Jaimie Lee Guest, and she’s Jake Gyllenhaal’s godmother.

Born in 1958 to Janet Leigh and Tony Curtis (formerly Bernie Schwartz).

She got her big break in 1978 in one of the first screamers. When you’ve got her lineage and Lew Wasserman as a godfather that’s not much of a break but still more than most of us can get in Hollywood.

And no, I don’t really hate her. My daughter met her on the set of True Lies. Erin won an AIDs jingle contest –“Why take a chance, Zip up your pants”. Jamie Lee Curtis was kind to my daughter, so I can’t say anything too mean.

I do admire that she has been married to Christopher Guest since 1984. She’s been in two of my favorite movies – Trading Places and A Fish Called Wanda and she has not written an autobiography. When a movie star writes their autobiography, like your favorite bands greatest hits album, it may as well be the godfather’s kiss.

What do I hate about Jamie Lee Curtis?

She’s a one-person conglomerate.

*Actress in movies and on television
*Director
*Author of critically acclaimed children’s books including Where Do Balloons Go – An Uplifting Mystery – books in English and Spanish
*Cover Girl
*Playboy pictorial 1985
*Star of advertising from a print ad for L’Eggs to adverts for Activia Yogurt, Washington Apples, Airtouch Cellular, Equal, Hitachi, Voice Stream Wireless, and online adverts.
*Louisa May Alcott’s partner as a reader for Little women.
*A Baroness through marriage to Christopher Guest

All this with only a one-semester education from University of the Pacific.

I’ve peaked at a couple of her children’s books and frankly without the incredibly amusing and charming illustrations of Laura Cornell they wouldn’t be much.

My complaint - why can’t people have their turn in the limelight and then exit stage left?

I suppose it’s just sour grapes but does one semester at the University of the Pacific entitle one to a lifetime of attention?

Here are some of Jamie lee’s finest stolen off the Internt.

"I believe people are entitled to a private life. I'm not sure where it's written that because you're in the public eye you are required to expose your private business, with anybody. It is nobody's business, and it's interesting because obviously in today's marketplace people don't abide by that. There are no boundaries that people won't cross...We're in a bit of a "Wild West" thing with media, and, I think, it's just kind of like no holds barred - the Internet. You know, there are no criteria on the Internet...I've chosen a public life to express myself, not to tell what I do with my husband in bed, not to do, to talk about my parents and my family life. And I just think it's wrong, and obviously it's an insatiable appetite that people have for gossip and innuendo and things that are nobody's business. And there's a term that they use in this called "legitimate public concern." What is legitimate public concern? If an elected official has an illness, that's legitimate public concern because they're our president or elected official. We, we, we need to know that they're healthy because we want them to live a long life and protect, you know, the Constitution...but in the marketplace, in the world, I don't believe it's anybody's concern. And that's what I think." --comments made on The View, Sept. 19, 2000.

"I thought, while they're up and firm [her breasts], why not shoot them once or twice." - on screen nudity

When I did Sesame Street, Elmo was not the worldwide phenomenon he is now. I understood Elmo was special, and I said that the only way I would do Sesame Street was with Elmo. Kevin Clash, the young man who did the voice for him, was a very sweet guy and I predicted Elmo's meteoric rise to fame way in advance. I am a trendsetter without knowing it. Two years later the Elmo craze began, but I was ahead of the curve.

When asked if she regretted making any films - "Easy. There's a piece of shit called _Virus (1999/I)_ which I made because another movie that I was supposed to do fell through. It was a bad choice and the movie is a piece of shit. The runner up is a movie called Grandview, U.S.A., which is this benign but still bad coming of age movie, which is just bad. I will never, ever see those films again. They are laughable, ludicrous movies and I'm bad in them. They're nasty."

(Many of Jamie Lee’s movies fit in the laughable, ludicrous and bad categories)

"Believe me, none of it works" - on cosmetic surgery

In some circles, my Caesar salad is more famous than my body.

My life is so filled that for me to accept acting work now means that I have to basically let somebody else do the job that I want to do, which is raise my children. It's not that I'm retired, it's just that I no longer accept acting work.
"The more I like me, the less I want to pretend to be other people." Family Circle, 4-18-06

About Madonna: Holiday came on the radio the other day and I remember where I was the first time I heard it: in West L.A. on my way to aerobics class. (In Style magazine, Sept/2006).
I'm not an actor anymore. I really don't imagine I'll do that again. I'm just focused on my family and just can't imagine anything that's going to pull me away from them right now.

I believe these stolen quotations tell the story better than I can. Jamie Lee, you’re overexposed. Exit stage left.