Darkly Comical Quotes

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There is no royal road to anything. One thing at a time, and all things in succession. That which grows slowly endures. – J.G. Holland

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. – Arthur Wing Pinero

Sympathy is never wasted except when you give it to yourself. – John W. Raper

If all the gold in the world were melted down into a solid cube it would be about the size of an eight room house. If a man got possession of all that gold – billions of dollars worth, he could not buy a friend, character, peace of mind, clear conscience, or a sense of eternity. – Charles f. Banning

It is a socialist idea that making profits is a vise. I consider the real vice is making losses. – Winston Churchill

The practical effect of a belief is the real test of its soundness. – Froude

The pursuit of truth shall set you free – even if you never catch up with it. – Clarence Darrow

Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely. – Rodin

To me – old age is 15 years older than I am. – Bernard M. Baruch

Darkly Comical Quotes

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The world is full of cactus, but we don’t have to sit on it. – Will Foley

Absence diminishes little passions and increases great ones, as wind extinguishes candles and fans a fire. – La Rochefoucauld

It is with life as with a play—it matters not how long the action is spun out, but how good the acting is. – Seneca

A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices. – Edward R. Murrow

The man that dares traduce, because he can with safety to himself, is not a man. – Cowper

Nothing is ever lost by courtesy. It is the cheapest of the pleasures; costs nothing and conveys much. It pleases him who gives and him who receives, and thus, like mercy, is twice blessed. – Erastus Wiman

I do not understand what the man who is happy wants in order to be happier. – Cicero

Five great enemies to peace inhabit with us: viz., avarice, ambition, envy, anger and pride. If those enemies were to be banished, we should infallibly enjoy perpetual peace. – Petrarch

Darkly Comical Quotes

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Never give a man up until he has failed at something he likes. – Lewis E. Lawes

Remember, every time you open your mouth to talk, your mind walks out and parades up and down the words. – Edwin H. Stuart

Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may kick it about all day, like a football, and it will be round and full at evening. – Oliver Wendell Holmes

We cannot hold a torch to light another’s path without brightening our own. – Ben Sweetland

People generally quarrel because they cannot argue. – Gilbert K. Chesterton

A good name, like good will, is got by many actions and lost by one. – Lord Jeffrey

Someone has well said, “Success is a journey, not a destination.” Happiness is to be found along the way, not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it is too late. Today, this hour, this minute is the day, the hour, the minute for each of us to sense the fact that life is good, with all its trials and troubles, and perhaps more interesting because of them. – Robert R. Updegraff

When you look at the world in a narrow way, how narrow it seems! When you look at it in a mean way, how mean it is! When you look at it selfishly, how selfish it is! But when you look at it in broad, generous, friendly spirit, what wonderful people you find in it. – Horace Rutledge

Darkly Comical Quotes

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Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, you can do a bigger thing well, too. – Storey

The cynic makes fun of all earnestness; he makes fun of everything and everyone who feels that something can be done. But in his heart of hearts he knows that he is a defeated man and that his cynicism is merely an expression of the fact that he has lost courage and is beaten. – George E. Vincent

Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises. – Demosthenes

A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company. – Charles Evans Hughes

He will always be a slave who does not know how to live upon a little. – Horace

A fresh mind keeps the body fresh. Take in the ideas of that day, drain off those of yesterday. As to the morrow, time enough to consider it when it becomes today. – Bulwer

Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought. – Hazlitt

There is no right without a parallel duty, no liberty without the supremacy of the law, no high destiny without earnest perseverance, no greatness without self-denial. – Lieber

Why Dogs are better than Children

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An email from a friend - Durry Garbutt in St. Augustine, Fl -

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:


TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE ANIMALS:

(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children .......

Darkly Comical Quotes

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If things are not going well with you, begin your effort at correcting the situation by carefully examining the service you are rendering, and especially the spirit in which you are rendering it. – Roger Babson

Most business men generally are so busy coping with immediate and piecemeal matters that there is a lamentable tendency to let the “long run” or future take care of itself. We often are so busy “putting out fires,” so to speak, that we find it difficult to do the planning that would prevent those fires from occurring in the first place. As a prominent educator has expressed it, Americans generally “spend so much time on things that are urgent that we have none left to spend on those that are important.” – Gustav Metzman

Some of us have turned our freedom into exploitation, our land into a dust bowl. We can’t make a nation strong when it is held together by the rotten rope of self-interest. Too often we think of democracy only in terms of getting our rights. – Joseph R. Sizoo, D.D.

We sometimes speak of winning reputation as though that were the final goal. The truth is contrary to this. Reputation is a reward, to be sure, but it is really the beginning, not the end of endeavor. It should not be the signal for a let-down but rather, a reminder that the standards which won recognition can never again be lowered. From him who gives much-much is forever after expected. – Alvan Macauley

Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. – Christopher Morley

The mind is like the stomach. It is not how much you put into it that counts, but how much it digests. – A.J. Nock

Darkly Comical Quote

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A little experience often upsets a lot of theory. – Cadman

Poverty is uncomfortable; but nine times out of ten the best thing that can happen to a young man is to be tossed overboard and compelled to sink or swim. – James A. Garfield

Regret is an appalling waste of energy. You can’t build on it; it’s only good for wallowing in. – Katherine Mansfield

To do anything in this world worth doing, we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in, and scramble through as well as we can. – Sydney Smith

Though we seem grieved at the shortness of life in general, we are wishing every period of it at an end. The minor longs to be at age, then to be a man of business, then to make up an estate, then to arrive at honors, then to retire. – Addison

Solitude is as needful to the imagination as society is wholesome for the character. – James Russell Lowell

Circumstances are the rulers of the weak; they are but instruments of the wise. – Samuel Lover

As soon as government management begins it upsets the natural equilibrium of industrial relations, and each interference only requires further bureaucratic control until the end is the tyranny of the totalitarian state. Adam Smith (1776)

Darkly Comical Quotes

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Four things come not back – the spoken word, the sped arrow, the past life, and the neglected opportunity. – Arabian proverb

Those who give too much attention to trifling things become generally incapable of great ones. – Cyrus H. K. Curtis

Fear not for the future, weep not for the past. – Shelley

The world is divided into people who do things and people who get the credit. Try, if you can, to belong to the first class. There’s far less competition. – Dwight Morrow

Not failure, but low aim, is a crime. – Richter

Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact. – William James

The great business of man is to improve his mind, and govern his manners; all other projects and pursuits, whether in our power to compass or not, are only amusements. – Pliny

Three things too much, and three too little are pernicious to man; to speak much, and know little; to spend much, and have little, to presume much, and be worth little. – Cervantes

Darkly Comical Quotes

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Anybody can become angry – that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy. – Aristotle

The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it. – C.C. Scott

The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life, and you cannot accept regret. – Amiel

Opposition inflames the enthusiast, never converts him. – Schiller

The man who follows a crowd will never be followed by a crowd. – Donnell

The parent’s job year in and year out, here a little and there a little, is to build up a disposition of good sportsmanship, of taking one’s medicine, of facing the music, of being reviled and reviling not. This sense of not always being right or recognition that perhaps we’ve made a mistake, seems left out of some grown-up children. – Samuel Smith Drury

Public sentiment is everything. With public sentiment, nothing can fail. Without it, nothing can succeed. – Abraham Lincoln

Perfectionism is a dangerous state of mind in an imperfect world. The best way is to forget doubts and set about the task at hand. If you are doing your best, you will not have time to worry about failure. – Robert Hillyer

Darkly Comical Quotes

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Two things, well considered, would prevent many quarrels: first, to have it well ascertained whether we are not disputing about terms rather than things and, second, to examine whether that on which we differ is worth contending about. – Colton

Laziness grows on people; it begins in cobwebs and ends in iron chains. The more one has to do the more he is able to accomplish. – Sir Thomas Buxton

An acre of performance is worth a whole world of promise. – W. D. Howells

We all have to learn, in one way or another, that neither men nor boys get second chances in the world. We all get new chances to the end of our lives, but not second chances in the same set of circumstances; and the great difference between one person and another is how he takes hold and uses his first chance, and how he takes his fall if it is scored against him. – Thomas Hughes

It is never safe to look into the future with eyes of fear. – E. H. Harriman

If you divorce capital from labor, capital is hoarded and labor starves. – Daniel Webster

The habit of reading is the only one I know in which there is no alloy. It lasts when all other pleasures fade. It will be there to support you when all other resources are gone. It will be present to you when the energies of your body have fallen away from you. It will make your hours pleasant to you as long as you live. – Anthony Trollope

A quiet conscience makes one so serene. – Byron

Darkly Comical Quotes

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We work day after day, not to finish things; but to make the future better – because we will spend the rest of our lives there. – Charles F. Kettering

Ideas are the mightiest influence on earth. One great thought breathed into a man may regenerate him. – Channing

Neither great poverty nor great riches will hear reason. – Henry Fielding

There is only one real failure in life that is possible, and that is, not to be true to the best one knows. – Farrar

Five minutes, just before going to sleep, given to a bit of directed imagination regarding achievement possibilities of the morrow, will steadily and increasingly bear fruit, particularly if all ideas of difficulty, worry or fear are resolutely rules out and replaced by those of accomplishment and smiling courage. – Frederick Pierce

The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another, and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it. – J.M. Barrie

Money may be the husk of many things, but not the kernel. It brings you food, but not appetite; medicine, but not health; acquaintances, but not friends; servants, but not faithfulness; days of joy, but not peace or happiness. – Henrik Ibsen

If you wish your merit to be known, acknowledge that of other people. – Oriental Proverb

Darkly Comical Quotes

The great composer does not set to work because he is inspired, but becomes inspired because he is working.Beethoven, Wagner, Bach and Mozart settled down day after day to the job in hand with as much regularity as an accountant settles down each day to his figures. They didn’t waste time waiting for inspiration. – Ernest Newman

No man ever sank under the burden of the day. It is when to-morrow’s burden is added to the burden of to-day that the weight is more than a man can bear. – George MacDonald

A really great man is known by three signs – generosity in the design, humanity in the execution, moderation in success. – Bismark

I am glad I am an optimist. The pessimist is half-licked before he starts. The optimist has won half the battle, the most important half that that applies to himself, when he begins his approach to a subject with the proper mental attitude. The optimist may not understand, or if he understands he may not agree with, prevailing ideas; but he believes, yes, knows that in the long run and in due course there will prevail whatever is right and best. – Thomas A. Buskner

Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action. – Disraeli

Don’t be a fault-finding grouch; when you feel like finding fault with somebody or something stop for a moment and think; there is very apt to be something wrong within yourself. Don’t permit yourself to show temper, and always remember that when you are in the right you can afford to keep your temper, and when you are in the wrong you cannot afford to lose it. – J.J. Reynolds

Pay as little attention to discouragement as possible. Plough ahead as a steamer does, rough or smooth – rain or shine. To carry your cargo and make your port in the point. – Maltbie Babcock

People are afraid to think, or they don’t know how. They fail to realize that, while emotions can’t be suppressed, the mind can be strengthened. All over the world people are seeking peace of mind, but there can be no peace of mind without strength of mind. – Eric B. Gutkind

Darkly Comical Quotes

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Every human mind is a great slumbering power until awakened by keen desire and by definite resolution to do. – Edgar F. Roberts

When you find a man who knows his job and is willing to take responsibility, keep out of his way and don’t bother him with unnecessary supervision. What you may think is co-operation is nothing but interference. – Thomas Dreier

To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life. – Spinoza

There are but two powers in the world, the sword and the mind. In the long run the sword is always beaten by the mind. – Napoleon

When a man has equipped himself by thought and study for a bigger job, it usually happens that promotion comes along even before it is expected. – P.G. Winnett

There is far more danger in public than in private monopoly, for whn Government goes into business it can always shift its losses to the taxpayers. Government never makes ends meet – and that is the first requisite of business. – Thomas A. Edison

The percentage of mistakes in quick decisions is no greater than in long-drawn-out vacillations, and the effect of decissiveness itself “makes things go” and creates confidence. – Anne O’Hare McCormick

Second thoughts are ever wiser. – Euripides

He who considers too much will perform little. - Schiller

Darkly Comical Quotes

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An executive is a man who decides; sometimes he decides right, but always he decides. – John H. Patterson

Unless the job means more than the pay it will never pay more. – H. Bertram Lewis

A man isn’t poor if he can still laugh. – Raymond Hitchcock

The trouble with most people is that they think with their hopes or fears or wishes rather than with their minds. – Walter Duranty

While an open mind is priceless, it is priceless only when its owner has the courage to make a final decision which closes the mind for action after the process of viewing all sides of the question has been completed. Failure to make a decision after due consideration of all the facts will quickly brand a man as unfit for a position of responsibility. Not all of your decisions will be correct. None of us is perfect. But if you get into the habit of making decisions experience will develop your judgement to a point where more and more of your decisions will be right. After all, it is better to be right 51% of the time and get something done, than it is to get nothing done because you fear to reach a decision. – H.W. Andrews

Never trust a monkey.

What we see depends mainly on what we look for. – John Bubbock

Unless a business can stay in the black over the long term, averaging the bad years with good, it cannot sustain itself. A manager may have laudable social intentions of providing security for his employees, better products at lower prices for his customers. But if he cannot keep the business going in realizing these intentions he is defeated before he begins. – Paul Garrett

Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles. What do we live for if not to make the world less difficult for each other. – George Eliot

The man who can put himself in the place of other men, who can understand the workings of their minds, need never worry about what the future has in store for him. – Owen D. Young

Darkly Comical Quotes

Success is never final and Failure is never fatal. It’s courage that counts. – George F. Tilton

The easiest thing of all is to deceive one’s self; for what a man wishes he generally believes to be true. – Demosthenes

At sixty a man has passed most of the reefs and whirlpools. Excepting only death, he has no enemies left to meet – That man has awakened to a new youth. – Ergo, he is young. – George Luks

You generally hear that what a man doesn’t know doesn’t hurt him, but in business what a man doesn’t know does hurt. – E.S. Lewis

It is the penalty of fame that a man must ever keep rising. “Get a reputation, and then go to bed,” is the absurdest of all maxims. “Keep up a reputation or go to bed,” would be nearer the truth. – E.H. Chapin

Either I will find a way, or I will make one. – Sir P. Sidney

The Golden Rule is of no use to you whatever unless you realize that it is your move. – Dr. Frank Crane

Worry affects the circulation, the heart, the glands, the whole nervous system, and profoundly affects the health. I have never known a man who died form overwork, but many who died from doubt. – Dr. Charles Mayo

Darkly Comical Quotes

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What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us. What we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal. – Albert Pine

Three-fourths of the mistakes a man makes are made because he does not really know the things he thinks he knows. – James Bryce

Most men believe that it would benefit them if they could get a little from those who have more. How much more would it benefit them if they would learn a little from those who know more. – William J.H. Boetcker

The question for each man to settle is not what he would do if he had means, time, influence and educational advantages, but what he will do with the things he has. – Hamilton Wright Mabie

Happiness is only a by-product of successful living. – Dr. Austen Fox Riggs

My clearest recollection of a long-ago interview with Thomas A. Edison is of a single sentence that was painted or hung on a wall in his room. In effect, the sentence was: “It is remarkable to what lengths people will go to avoid thought.” That is tragically true. Some of us think, more of us think we think, and most of us don’t even think of thinking. The result is a somewhat cockeyed world. _ Pollack

When you rise in the morning, form a resolution to make the day a happy one to a fellow creature. – Sydney Smith

The recipe for perpetual ignorance is: Be satisfied with your opinions and content with your knowledge. – Elbert Hubbard

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A man’s life may stagnate as literally as water may stagnate, and just as motion and dirction are the remedy for one, so purpose and activity are the remedy for the other. – John Burroughs

Human affairs inspire in noble hearts only two feelings – admiration or pity. – Anatole France

Laws should be like clothes. They should be made to fit the people they are meant to serve. – Clarence Darrow

Thinking, not growth makes manhood. Accustom yourself, therefore, to thinking. Set yourself to understand whatever you see or read. To join thinking with reading is one of the first maxims, and one of the easiest operations. – Isaac Taylor

There are five types of men who fail in life; the machine, the miser, the hermit, the snob, and the brute. – Walter Wilber Gruber

It is a maxim received in life that, in general, we can determine more wisely for others than for ourselves. The reason of it is so clear in argument that it hardly wants the confirmation of experience. – Junius

When possible make the decisions now, even if action is in the future. A reviewed decision usually is better than one reached at the last moment. – William B. Given, Jr.

The man who works for the gold in the job rather than for the money in the pay envelope, is the fellow who gets on. – Joseph French Johnson

Darkly Comical Quotes

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They who give have all things; they who withhold have nothing. Hindu Proverb

Sameness is the mother of disgust, variety the cure. – Petrarch

Uncertainty and expectations are the joys of life. Security is an insipid thing, though the overtaking and possessing of a wish discovers the folly of the chase. – Congreve

Art is a human activity consisting in this, that one man consciously, by means of certain external signs, hands on to other feelings he has lived through, and that other people are infected by these feelings, and also experience them. – Tolstoi

If we did but know how little some enjoy of the great things that they possess, there would not be much envy in the world. – Young

Nothing is cheap which is superfluous, for what one does not need, is dear at a penny. Plutarch

Man is not born to solve the problem of the universe, but to find out what he has to do; and to restrain himself within the limits of his comprhension. – Goethe

A real work of merit finds favor at last. – A.B. Alcott

Darkly Comical Quotes

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No matter how much madder it may make you, get out of bed forcing a smile. You may not smile because you are cheerful; but if you will force yourself to smile, you’ll end up laughing. You will be cheerful because you smile. Repeated experiments prove that when man assumes the facial expression of a given mental mood – any given mood – then that mental mood itself will follow. – Kenneth Goode

On the clarity of your ideas depends the scope of your success in any endeavor. – James Robertson

A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any market. – Lamb

Will is character in action. – William McDougall

No man really becomes a fool until he stops asking questions. – Charles P. Steinmetz

More people should learn to tell their dollars where to go instead of asking them where they went. – Roger Babson

Parties who want mild should not seat themselves on a stooll in the middle of a field in hope that the cow will back up to them. – Elbert Hubbard

The bigger a man’s head gets, the easier it is to fill his shoes. – Henry A. Courtney

Darkly Comical Quotes

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Immense power is acquired by assuring yourself in your secret reveries that you were born to control affairs. – Andrew Carnegie

No man can tell whether he is rich or poor by turning to his ledger. It is the heart that makes a man rich. He is rich according to what he is, not according to what he has. – Henry Ward Beecher

Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open. – Lord Thomas Dewar

A great leader never sets himself above his followers except in carrying responsibilities. – Jules Ormont

Reprove thy friend privately; commend him publicly. – Solon

No man, who continues to add something to the material, intellectual and moral well-being of the place in which he lives is left long without proper reward. – Booker T. Washington

Few men during their lifetime come anywhere near exhausting the resources dwelling within them. There are deep wells of strength that are never used. – Richard E. Byrd

The best security against revolution is in constant correction of abuses and the introduction of needed improvements. It is the neglect of timely repair that makes rebuilding necessary. – Whately

Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do when it has to be done, whether you like it or not. – Parks Cousins

March on Washington - Now

A friend, Lee Balduc, sent me this U-tube video. It's worth your time to watch it. It is painful to be an American (see previous post)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKFKGrmsBDk&feature=related

Let's make our representatives represent the people who elected them. The only way this will happen now is to march on Washington and shut down our government. Show them in a peaceful way that if they won't listen to our votes, we'll vote with our feet in Washington D.C.

Darkly Comical Quotes

When you talk about your troubles, your ailments, your disease, your hurts, you give longer life to what makes you unhappy. Talking about your grievances merely adds to those grievances. Give recognition only to what you desire. Think and talk only about the good things that add to your enjoyment of your work and life. If you don’t talk about your grievances, you’ll be delighted to find them disappearing quickly. – Thomas Dreier

The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with the wish to teach himself. – Bulwer

If we are to survive the Atomic Age, we must have something to live by, to live on, and to live for. We must stand aside from the world’s conspiracy of fear and hate and grasp once more the great monosyllables of life: faith, hope and love. Men must live by these if they live at all under the crushing weight of history. – O.P. Kretzmann, D.D.

Capital is to the progress of society what gas is to a car. – James Truslow Adams

Some people think that all the world should share their misfortunes, though they do not share in the sufferings of any one else. – A. Poincelot

A prudent person profits from personal experience, a wise one from the experience of others. – Dr. Joseph Collins.

I don’t know what your destiny will be, bout one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. – Dr. Albert Schweitzer

Two things are as big as the man who possesses them – neither bigger nor smaller. One is a minute, the other a dollar. – Channing Polloch

Darkly Comical Quotes

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When a business firm attempts to mold its whole policy to meet the prices of its competitor that business is entering a labyrinth, the center of which is the chamber of despair. Highest quality never can be given nor obtained at the lowest prices. If a price must be sacrificed, quality must be sacrificed. If quality is sacrificed society is not truly served. – H. T. Garvey

The political machine triumphs because it is united minority acting against a divided majority. Will Durant

Just as you are unconsciously influenced by outside advertisement, announcement, and appeal, so you can vitally influence your life from within by autosuggestion. The first thing each morning and the last thing each night, suggest to yourself specific ideas that you wish to embody in your character and personality. Address such suggestions to yourself, silently or aloud, until they are deeply impressed upon your mind. – Grenville Kleiser

He that respects himself is safe from others; he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce. – Longfellow

He who would acquire fame must not show himself afraid of censure. The dread of censure is the death of genius. – Simms

The thoughts that come often unsought, and, as it were, drop into the mind, are commonly the most valuable or any we have, and therefore should be secured, because they seldom return again. – Locke

The object of living is work, experience, and happiness. There is joy in work. All that money can do is buy us some one else’s work in exchange for our own. There is no happiness except in the realization that we have accomplished something. – Henry Ford

To add a library to a house is to give that house a soul. – Cicero

If Dr. Seuss Worked for your Health Insurance Carrier

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Ten percent of people in the United States work for insurance companies.

What if Dr. Seuss had gone to work for an insurance company instead of writing children’s books. His letters might look like this:

We would not could not if you’ve smoked.
We would not, could not cover you.

Pay your premiums and don’t complain
You’ve done it to yourself; we’re not too blame.

Coverage for that just won’t happen;
As it’s something that actually might happen.

Medical impossibilities we seen a few
That’s all we’re covering, so go and stew.

Darkly Comical Quotes

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The man who lives only by hope will die with despair. – Italian Proverb

The forty-four-hour week has no charm for me. I’m looking for a forty-hour day. – Dr. Nicholas Murray Butler

Help thy brother’s boat across, and lo! Thine own has reached the shore. – Hindu Proverb

Save time thinking you can do the other fellow’s job better than he can – put it in doing your job better! – Herbert A. Schoenfeld

Facts mean nothing unless they are rightly understood, rightly related and rightly interpreted. R.L. Long

When no new thoughts fill the mind – when no horizons beckon – when life is in the past, not in the future – you are on your way to uselessness. Dr. Frederick K. Stamm

A man with a surplus can control circumstances, but a man without a surplus is controlled by the, and often he has no opportunity to exercise judgment. Harvey S. Firestone

The man who wins may have been counted out several times, but he didn’t hear the referee. H.E. Jansen

Darkly Comical Quotes

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The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself. – Thales

Much has been said about the relative value of happiness; but write it on your heart that happiness is the cheapest thing in the world—when you buy it for someone else. – Flemming

Mine honor is my life; both grow in one; take honor from me and my life is done. – Shakespeare

One man with courage makes a majority. – Andrew Jackson

Before you try to convince anyone else be sure you are convinced, and if you cannot convince yourself, drop the subject. – John H. Patterson

A good laugh is sunshine in the house. – Thackeray

You seldom get what you go after unless you know in advance what you want. Indecision has often given an advantage to the other fellow because he did his thinking beforehand. – Charles Sumner

The first recipe for happiness is: Avoid too lengthy meditations on the past. – Andre Maurois

Darkly Comical Quotes

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A man of meditation is happy, not for an hour or a day, but quite round the circle of all his years. Issac Taylor

On earth there is nothing great but man; in man there is nothing great but mind. – Sir William Hamilton

The worst bankrupt in the world is the man who has lost his enthusiasm. Let a man lose everything else in the world but his enthusiasm and he will come through again to success. – H.W. Arnold

Better to slip with the foot than with the tongue. – English Proverb

The sole meaning of life is to serve humanity. – Tolstoi

The real secret of how to use time is to pack it as you would a portmanteau, filling up the small spaces with small things. – Sir Henry Haddow

A man should inure himself to voluntary labor, and not give up to indulgence and pleasure, as they beget no good constitution of body nor knowledge of mind. – Socrates

The discovery of what is true and the practice of that which is good, are the two most important aims of philosophy. – Voltaire

Darkly Comical Quotes

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He that gives good advice builds with one hand; he that gives good counsel and example builds with both; but he that gives good admonition and bad example builds with one hand and pulls down with the other. – Bacon

Everyone has his superstitions. One of mine has always been when I started to go anywhere, or to do anything, never to turn back or to stop until the thing intended was accomplished. – Ulysses S. Grant

Decision is a sharp knife that cuts clean and straight; indecision, a dull one that hacks and tears and leaves ragged edges behind it. – Gordon graham

There can be no economy where there is no efficiency. – Beaconsfield

When you have spoken the word, it reigns over you. When it is unspoken you reign over it. – Arabian Proverb

The great man is he who does not lose his child’s heart. – Mencius

Many a man never fails because he never tries. – Norman MacEwan