New Dark Comedy Mysteries now on Barnes and Noble and Amazon Websites

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Woo Burgers in Paradise - A dark-comedy mystery

      by Theophilous Thorne-Bush

‘Woo Burgers in Paradise’ is a character-driven dark-comedy mystery about finding love and serial killers in a small but complicated seaside community.

She’s a cop who will shoot you and he’s a veterinarian with a soft heart. She’s tough on crime and he can’t seem to follow the rules. She’s an insider and he’s an outsider. Her friends are normal and the few friends he has are just beyond the fringe or shed twice a year. She’s got a big family and he’s lonely.

Doc and Sergeant Viki are drawn together by a tumor nestled in the brain of her narcotic-sniffing German shepherd.

‘Buskers on the Half Shell’, the second in the Gator-Crossing mystery series, continues Doc’s pursuit of Sergeant Viki. Oscar has been gator-napped and Sergeant Viki doesn’t want to pursue the case, but she’s forced to when it’s her only chance to regain her position as a detective in the Isle-of-Palms Police Department.

A cheerful romp interrupted now and then by sulfurous whiffs of stuff the tide washed in. It’s like a stroll in Mallory Square at sunset in March—exotic, entertaining, and bizarre. The author has molded the Florida Keys’ deeply wacky raw material into a charming cast of eccentric underachievers. – Hal O’Boyle

Now available through Barnes and Noble and Amazon! - Fun summer reading

Short Excerpts -

Without thinking of himself, the pseudo Carpenter pulled his hammer and, with both hands on the handle, tried to smash the glass. His hammer bounced off. He then grabbed the heavy base of the microphone stand and, with every ounce he could muster, smashed the front of the tank sending a wall of water, goldfish, the 30 rubber ducks with the bright orange beaks, broken glass, the Carpenter himself, and Antoine’s body, all careening into the audience. The audience, packed at the front of the stage, was washed toward the rear exits, knocking entire sets of seats from their stanchions.

Up in the balcony, Jimmy turned to the mayor, whose mouth now hung open, like a goldfish, and handed him the rest of his popcorn.

“Good show tonight. I especially liked the surprise ending.”

Second Short Excerpt

Lulu Pearl counted on her fingers as she said, “I’ve got three words for her, Vi-ag-ra.

Viki, her arms still crossed, said, “Mom, that’s one word. Can we change the subject before Doc walks in?”

“No,” said Lulu Pearl, “it stands for Vi, the life force; Ag is for agriculture, the rearin’ of plants and animals; and Ra, the Egyptian sun god whose big old head comes poppin’ up in the east every mornin’.”

“That’s bull shit,” said Viki, “and you know it.”

I read it in a Sheila Stone novel.”

Nana interrupted, “This rearin’ word troubles me.”