Be Good and You will become Lonesome

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God is really another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant, and the cat. He has no real style. He just goes on trying other things. – Pablo Picasso

A man becomes like those whose society he loves. – Hindu proverb

The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. – Walter Bagehot

Be good and you will become lonesome. – Mark Twain

Remember: one lie does not cost you one truth, but the truth. – Friedrich Hebbel

Trust everybody but cut the cards. – Finley Peter Dunne

Never trust a man who speaks well of everybody. – John Churton Collins

There Can be No Courage Unless You’re Scared

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The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit. – Moliere

I have a simple philosophy. Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches. – Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Some day each of us will be famous for fifteen minutes. – Andy Warhol

Courage is doing what you’re afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you’re scared. – Eddie Rickenbacker

Home is not where you live, but where they understand you. – Christian Morgenstern

The value of a principle is the number of things it will explain. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Flattery will get you anywhere. – Jane Russell

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Snore and You Sleep Alone

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Men are shits. It hit me when I realized that I wouldn’t take myself out or go to bed with me. – Dustin Hoffman (from the movie Tootsie)

An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out. – George Jean Nathan

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. – Anthony Burgess

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. – Fred Allen

Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills. – Voltaire

Even as a kid I always went for the wrong women. I feel that’s my problem. When my mother took me to see Snow White, everyone fell in love with Snow White. I immediately fell for the wicked queen. – Woody Allen

We Have Met the Enemy and He is Us

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The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out. – Chinese proverb

No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another. – Charles Dickens

We have met the enemy and he is us. – Walt Kelly

We are all richer than we think we are. – Michel de Montaigne

Nothing you can’t spell will ever work. – Will Rogers

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. – Mae West

I’m as pure as the driven slush. – Tallulah Bankhead

The Principle Difference Between a Dog and a Man

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It is easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them. – Alfred Adler

You can fool al of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, and that’s good enough. – Laurence J. Peter

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principle difference between a dog and a man. – Mark Twain

In certain trying instances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer. – Mark Twain

Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people. – Hyman G. Rickover

If man is a minority of one, we lock him up. – Oliver Wendell Holmes

He who fears something gives it power over him. – Moorish proverb

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