Elizabeth’s Review of the
screenplay – The Fishkill by Alan H. Bush and F.W. Belland
First let me say that I liked what I read. These are good characters and a good story. At first, the style was offsetting to me because I had not been told this was a screen script. The characters caught me and I wanted to know about them. (Actually, the boy and his father reminded me of someone I know and very much care about.) All of the characters were interesting---even the dreadful duo of aunt and social worker. Of course, the boy and his father were captivating. The friends were true friends---something somewhat rare in the world today.
I soon began to move with the style---charmed by the footnotes that I began to realize were there to guide someone in filming the story. They put the reader right where the action was taking place. There's talent in there that very few authors have. Those footnote passages cannot be read in a film. Without those lovely passages, the story, as good as I found it, would be sorely lacking. Those footnotes should not be tossed away---they are too essential to the rhythm of the whole.
This is your creation. However you have asked for someone to read it and suggest whatever. So: I shall be bold and suggest: you make this a book. You, the narrator, could be working on a screenplay so that the style that was so offsetting at first
but really became interesting, can be maintained. I would like to know that those friends who were so dear are safe and somehow still part of the boy's life.
Thank you for the privilege of encouraging what is worthwhile.
Image by José Encarnação via Flickr
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