For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health.
It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Nine Reasons Lobbying is Destroying the United States
I didn’t know that business lobbying is as old as our Constitution and protected by the first Amendment
My view of lobbying: It’s five buzzards at a two buzzard meal.*
I’m in favor of the Constitution, but there’s something wrong when:
1. 25 firms have been documented to have extensively lobbied for subprime mortgages.
2. Many of these companies made campaign contributions to both Democrats and Republicans.
3. The financial services sector collectively donated more than $2.2 billion to political campaigns and spent $3.5 billion on lobbying politicians in Washington D.C. These two processes are linked.
4. These 25 firms issued approximately $1 trillion in subprime mortgages to over 5 million borrowers.
5. These subprime mortgages resulted in many billions of dollars in revenue for these 25 firms.
6. Many of these 25 firms have received considerable portions of the $700 billion in TARP money.
7. Many of these 25 firms are leading the charge to repossess homes. And lobbied actively against measures to save people’s homes!
8. The bipartisan nature of the lobbying and campaign contributions has resulted in a deregulatory consensus on capital hill that is not shared by academic and professional economists.
9. It’s triple dipping when your company makes money on the subprime mortgages, you get bailed out by the tax payers and then, you take peoples homes and salvage their value.
When the Constitution allows this process, we need to take a serious look not at our Constitution but at the ability of large corporations to subvert our constitution.
Lobbying and campaign contributions are shifting the balance of power in our country from the voters to the major corporations.
How many times must the American public be raped before they understand they're being raped? And are we going to let our children and grandchildren continue to be violated?
Calvin Coolidge has not been treated kindly by history but he said something we need to remember ——“Prosperity cannot be divorced from humanity.”
It is time to stop the abomination of lobbying and campaign contributions.
*My view of lobbying and campaign contributions:
Bribe: noun. Anything given or serving to persuade or induce. Verb. To influence or corrupt by a bribe.
Lobby: n. A group of persons who work to conduct a campaign to influence members of a legislative body. V. To solicit or try to influence members of a legislature.
Lobbyist: A person who tries to influence legislation on behalf of a special interest.
If money is given to a political candidate or an office-holding politician before, during or after being contacted by a lobbyist for that organization, then the candidate or elected official has been bribed for services rendered or some service implied to be rendered in the future.
If an individual or organization gives money to both political parties or candidates running for the same office then they are, by caveat, guilty of bribery.
My view of lobbying: It’s five buzzards at a two buzzard meal.*
I’m in favor of the Constitution, but there’s something wrong when:
1. 25 firms have been documented to have extensively lobbied for subprime mortgages.
2. Many of these companies made campaign contributions to both Democrats and Republicans.
3. The financial services sector collectively donated more than $2.2 billion to political campaigns and spent $3.5 billion on lobbying politicians in Washington D.C. These two processes are linked.
4. These 25 firms issued approximately $1 trillion in subprime mortgages to over 5 million borrowers.
5. These subprime mortgages resulted in many billions of dollars in revenue for these 25 firms.
6. Many of these 25 firms have received considerable portions of the $700 billion in TARP money.
7. Many of these 25 firms are leading the charge to repossess homes. And lobbied actively against measures to save people’s homes!
8. The bipartisan nature of the lobbying and campaign contributions has resulted in a deregulatory consensus on capital hill that is not shared by academic and professional economists.
9. It’s triple dipping when your company makes money on the subprime mortgages, you get bailed out by the tax payers and then, you take peoples homes and salvage their value.
When the Constitution allows this process, we need to take a serious look not at our Constitution but at the ability of large corporations to subvert our constitution.
Lobbying and campaign contributions are shifting the balance of power in our country from the voters to the major corporations.
How many times must the American public be raped before they understand they're being raped? And are we going to let our children and grandchildren continue to be violated?
Calvin Coolidge has not been treated kindly by history but he said something we need to remember ——“Prosperity cannot be divorced from humanity.”
It is time to stop the abomination of lobbying and campaign contributions.
*My view of lobbying and campaign contributions:
Bribe: noun. Anything given or serving to persuade or induce. Verb. To influence or corrupt by a bribe.
Lobby: n. A group of persons who work to conduct a campaign to influence members of a legislative body. V. To solicit or try to influence members of a legislature.
Lobbyist: A person who tries to influence legislation on behalf of a special interest.
If money is given to a political candidate or an office-holding politician before, during or after being contacted by a lobbyist for that organization, then the candidate or elected official has been bribed for services rendered or some service implied to be rendered in the future.
If an individual or organization gives money to both political parties or candidates running for the same office then they are, by caveat, guilty of bribery.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes
Great men are they who see that spiritual is stronger than any material force; that thoughts rule the world. – Emerson
It is not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about? – Thoreau
Pressure is on us by the nature of the job. Performance releases pressure. – Fisher
The measure of a man’s real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out. – Macaulay
Work is often the father of pleasure. – Voltaire
Keeping your clothes well pressed will keep you from looking hard pressed. – Coleman Cox
He who promises runs in debt. – Talmud
Man cannot be satisfied with mere success. He is concerned with the terms upon which success comes to him. And very often the terms seem more important than the success. – Charles A. Bennett
It is not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about? – Thoreau
Pressure is on us by the nature of the job. Performance releases pressure. – Fisher
The measure of a man’s real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out. – Macaulay
Work is often the father of pleasure. – Voltaire
Keeping your clothes well pressed will keep you from looking hard pressed. – Coleman Cox
He who promises runs in debt. – Talmud
Man cannot be satisfied with mere success. He is concerned with the terms upon which success comes to him. And very often the terms seem more important than the success. – Charles A. Bennett
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes
Happiness is not so much in having or sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. – Norman MacEwan
My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson
A life of ease is a difficult pursuit. – Cowper
A miser grows rich by seeming poor; an extravagant man grows poor by seeming rich. Shakespeare
Life is too short to be little. – Disraeli
As the gardener, by severe pruning, forces the sap of the tree into one or two vigorous limbs, so should you stop off your miscellaneous activity and concentrate your force on one or a few points. – Emerson
The man who trusts men will make fewer mistakes than he who distrusts them. – Cavour
Prosperity cannot be divorced from humanity. – Calvin Coolidge
My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson
A life of ease is a difficult pursuit. – Cowper
A miser grows rich by seeming poor; an extravagant man grows poor by seeming rich. Shakespeare
Life is too short to be little. – Disraeli
As the gardener, by severe pruning, forces the sap of the tree into one or two vigorous limbs, so should you stop off your miscellaneous activity and concentrate your force on one or a few points. – Emerson
The man who trusts men will make fewer mistakes than he who distrusts them. – Cavour
Prosperity cannot be divorced from humanity. – Calvin Coolidge
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes
Of all the forces that make for a better world, none is so indispensable, none so powerful as hope. Without hope men are only half alive. With hope they dream and think and work. – Charles Sawyer
Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax. – Charles F. Kettering
Shun idleness. It is a rust that attaches itself to the most brilliant minds. – Voltaire
He who sacrifices his conscience to ambition burns a picture to obtain the ashes. – Chinese Proverb
Pride is a deeply rooted ailment of the soul. The penalty is misery; the remedy lies in the sincere, life-long cultivation of humility, which means true self-evaluation and a proper perspective toward the past, present and future. Robert Gordis
He who allows his day to pass by without practicing generosity and enjoying life’s pleasures is like a blacksmith’s bellows – he breathes but does not live. – Sanscrit Proverb
The glow of one warm thought is to me worth more than money. – Thomas Jefferson
Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax. – Charles F. Kettering
Shun idleness. It is a rust that attaches itself to the most brilliant minds. – Voltaire
He who sacrifices his conscience to ambition burns a picture to obtain the ashes. – Chinese Proverb
Pride is a deeply rooted ailment of the soul. The penalty is misery; the remedy lies in the sincere, life-long cultivation of humility, which means true self-evaluation and a proper perspective toward the past, present and future. Robert Gordis
He who allows his day to pass by without practicing generosity and enjoying life’s pleasures is like a blacksmith’s bellows – he breathes but does not live. – Sanscrit Proverb
The glow of one warm thought is to me worth more than money. – Thomas Jefferson
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes
Truth will rise above falsehood as oil above water. – Cervantes
In the lottery of life there are more prizes drawn than blanks, and to one misfortune there are fifty advantages. Despondency is the most unprofitable feeling a man can indulge in. – De Will Talmage
Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; actions form habits; habits decide character; and character fixes our destiny. – Tryon Edwards
There is no witness so terrible—no accuser so powerful as conscience which dwells within us. – Sophocles
No one grows old by living- only by losing interest in living. – Marie Ray
Freedom without obligation is anarchy; freedom with obligation is democracy. – Earl Riney
In making a living today, many no longer leave room for life. – Joseph Sizoo, DD
I firmly believe that the army of persons who urge greater centralization of authority and greater dependence upon the federal treasury, are really more dangerous to our form of government than any external threat that can possibly be arrayed against us. – Dwight D. Eisenhower
In the lottery of life there are more prizes drawn than blanks, and to one misfortune there are fifty advantages. Despondency is the most unprofitable feeling a man can indulge in. – De Will Talmage
Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; actions form habits; habits decide character; and character fixes our destiny. – Tryon Edwards
There is no witness so terrible—no accuser so powerful as conscience which dwells within us. – Sophocles
No one grows old by living- only by losing interest in living. – Marie Ray
Freedom without obligation is anarchy; freedom with obligation is democracy. – Earl Riney
In making a living today, many no longer leave room for life. – Joseph Sizoo, DD
I firmly believe that the army of persons who urge greater centralization of authority and greater dependence upon the federal treasury, are really more dangerous to our form of government than any external threat that can possibly be arrayed against us. – Dwight D. Eisenhower
Monday, May 25, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes
The original meaning of the word “faith” was to vigorously prepare.
Sign on a church bulletin board – That which angers us, controls us.
The worst obstructionist in any community is not the man who is opposed to doing anything, but the man who will not do what he can because he cannot do what he would like to do. – J.L. Long
The difference between failure and success is doing a thing nearly right and doing it exactly right. – Edward C. Simmons
A man would do well to carry a pencil in his pocket, and write down the thoughts of the moment. Those that come unsought for are commonly the most valuable, and should be secured, because they seldom return. – Bacon
It is well to read everything of something, and something of everything. – Henry Brougham
When a man is wrong and won’t admit it, he always gets angry. – Haliburton
Sign on a church bulletin board – That which angers us, controls us.
The worst obstructionist in any community is not the man who is opposed to doing anything, but the man who will not do what he can because he cannot do what he would like to do. – J.L. Long
The difference between failure and success is doing a thing nearly right and doing it exactly right. – Edward C. Simmons
A man would do well to carry a pencil in his pocket, and write down the thoughts of the moment. Those that come unsought for are commonly the most valuable, and should be secured, because they seldom return. – Bacon
It is well to read everything of something, and something of everything. – Henry Brougham
When a man is wrong and won’t admit it, he always gets angry. – Haliburton
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes
It is not only what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable. – Moliere
The farther we get away from the land, the greater our insecurity. – Henry Ford
Economy is half the battle of life; it is not so hard to earn money as to spend it well. – Spurgeon
To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die. – Campbell
The successful people are the ones who can think up stuff for the rest of the world to keep busy at. – Don Marquis
Perserverance is more prevailing than violence; and many things which cannot be overcome when they are together yield themselves up when taken little by little. – Plutarch
It is a hard rule of life, and I believe a healthy one, that no great plan is ever carried out without meeting and overcoming endless obstacles that come up to try the skill of man’s hand, the quality of his courage, and the endurance of his faith. – Donald Douglas
The farther we get away from the land, the greater our insecurity. – Henry Ford
Economy is half the battle of life; it is not so hard to earn money as to spend it well. – Spurgeon
To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die. – Campbell
The successful people are the ones who can think up stuff for the rest of the world to keep busy at. – Don Marquis
Perserverance is more prevailing than violence; and many things which cannot be overcome when they are together yield themselves up when taken little by little. – Plutarch
It is a hard rule of life, and I believe a healthy one, that no great plan is ever carried out without meeting and overcoming endless obstacles that come up to try the skill of man’s hand, the quality of his courage, and the endurance of his faith. – Donald Douglas
Friday, May 22, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes
The only true happiness comes from squandering ourselves for a purpose. – John Mason Brown
To most men experience is like the stern lights of a ship, which illuminate only the track it has passed. – Coleridge
The true danger is when liberty is nibbled away, for expedients, and by parts. – Burke
Labor and trouble one can always get through alone, but it takes two to be glad. – Ibsen
Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you. – Emerson
A politician thinks of the next election; a statesman of the next generation. -J.F. Clarke
It is the paradox of life that the way to miss pleasure is to seek it first. The very first condition of lasting happiness is that a life should be full of purpose, aiming at something outside self. As a matter of experience, we find that true happiness comes in seeking other things, in the manifold activities of life, in the healthful outgoing of all human powers. – Hugh Black
To most men experience is like the stern lights of a ship, which illuminate only the track it has passed. – Coleridge
The true danger is when liberty is nibbled away, for expedients, and by parts. – Burke
Labor and trouble one can always get through alone, but it takes two to be glad. – Ibsen
Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you. – Emerson
A politician thinks of the next election; a statesman of the next generation. -J.F. Clarke
It is the paradox of life that the way to miss pleasure is to seek it first. The very first condition of lasting happiness is that a life should be full of purpose, aiming at something outside self. As a matter of experience, we find that true happiness comes in seeking other things, in the manifold activities of life, in the healthful outgoing of all human powers. – Hugh Black
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes
Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years. People grow old only by deserting their ideals. Years wrinkle the face, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Worry, doubt, self-interest, fear, despair—these are the long, long years that bow the head and turn the growing spirit back to dust. – Watterson Lowe
The great scientist, as all great men, have not been concerned with fame. The joy of achievement that comes from finding something new in the universe is by far their greatest joy. A great research scientist is constantly discovering new things in his field. This is his reward. He knows how to spend long years in preparation and long hours in investigation, with no thought of public honor or reward. – William P. King
Opinions that are well rooted should grow and change like a healthy tree. – Irving Batcheller
You grow up the day you have your first real laugh—at yourself. – Ethel Barrymore
Failure is only postponed success as long as courage “coaches” ambition. The habit of persistence is the habit of victory. – Herbert Kaufman
There are two kinds of discontent in this world; the discontent that works, and the discontent that wrings its hands. The first gets what it wants, and the second loses what it has. There’s no cure for the first but success; and there’s no cure at all for the second. – Gordon Graham
The belief that youth is the happiest time of life is founded on a fallacy. The happiest person is the person who thinks the most interesting thoughts, and we grow happier as we grow older. – William Lyon Phelps
The great scientist, as all great men, have not been concerned with fame. The joy of achievement that comes from finding something new in the universe is by far their greatest joy. A great research scientist is constantly discovering new things in his field. This is his reward. He knows how to spend long years in preparation and long hours in investigation, with no thought of public honor or reward. – William P. King
Opinions that are well rooted should grow and change like a healthy tree. – Irving Batcheller
You grow up the day you have your first real laugh—at yourself. – Ethel Barrymore
Failure is only postponed success as long as courage “coaches” ambition. The habit of persistence is the habit of victory. – Herbert Kaufman
There are two kinds of discontent in this world; the discontent that works, and the discontent that wrings its hands. The first gets what it wants, and the second loses what it has. There’s no cure for the first but success; and there’s no cure at all for the second. – Gordon Graham
The belief that youth is the happiest time of life is founded on a fallacy. The happiest person is the person who thinks the most interesting thoughts, and we grow happier as we grow older. – William Lyon Phelps
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
The Darkly Comical Powers That be
For thirty years my wife and I raised our family, worked in our small businesses and tried to follow a live and let-live philosophy. And we minded our own business.
We were wrong. We were complacent.
This financial crisis has revealed there is trouble in paradise. Trouble that has been growing at the core of our nation for a long time.
Our financial crisis has brought three groups out of their holes, off their webs and out from under their rocks to make strong grabs for whatever they can get.
It turns out there are three powers in the United States that have been battling for the last thirty years. Their battles in the past were behind the scenes but now this crisis has brought them out into the open. This crisis has made them visible and vulnerable.
Right before our eyes we are seeing three groups with super powers fighting for ultimate control. And in the process Politicians, Wall Street, Big Banks and Big Pharma, and the Media are revealing their true nature.
Each of the three groups already have vast legitimate power bases nurtured and honed to perfection. But power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Politicians and Elected Officials – the power to make laws, establish taxes and go on television.
Wall Stree, Big Banking and Big Pharma – the power of unlimited $$$$$.
Media – Public Relations – the power to make or break anyone.
The current financial crisis is their opportunity to have it all.
But the current financial crisis has opened the gates of hell and allowed the average citizen to see what evil has lurked for a long time behind closed doors. And these three groups have now overplayed their hands because they’ve forgotten where they got their strengths in the first place—from 300,000,000+ Americans.
Even if you see this evil, why should you care? Because on a daily basis the average American is being abused by the hunger of these three groups.
And if we stand idly by we deserve what we’ve gotten and what we’re going to get. A form of slavery that’s insidious.
Seperately we can be bullied and pushed around by any of these three groups. We as Americans need to understand that we have the power to stop this. The power to take back what is ours; our lives and our country.
It’s been our complacency and laziness that gives these three groups such free reign.
What can we do?
1. We can turn off the news and the media. Look around and band together to discuss our problems on a local level. We’ll find we have more problems in common than we thought.
2. We can vote for politicians who will represent us and if they don’t, we vote them out of office. Or we go to Washington and remove them from office. And we find a way to stop lobbying, now.
3. Wall Street, Big Banking and Big Pharma are a little tougher but remember the American public controls almost 70% of the dollars spent in a year. On Wall Street our dollars are our votes. And if you own a few shares of stock then you have a say in how these giant corporations work.
We are not pawns. We are people.
In a democracy:
Why should 1% of the people own 35% of the wealth?
Why should 20% own 85% of the wealth?
Why should 80% of the people that hold 80% of the votes only have 15% of the wealth?
Plutarch said, “An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics.”
It is time we took back our country and established that everyone deserves a job, a living wage, health care and a roof over their heads.
Even if you have these things, if you fear losing them you are not a free man.
It is time.
We were wrong. We were complacent.
This financial crisis has revealed there is trouble in paradise. Trouble that has been growing at the core of our nation for a long time.
Our financial crisis has brought three groups out of their holes, off their webs and out from under their rocks to make strong grabs for whatever they can get.
It turns out there are three powers in the United States that have been battling for the last thirty years. Their battles in the past were behind the scenes but now this crisis has brought them out into the open. This crisis has made them visible and vulnerable.
Right before our eyes we are seeing three groups with super powers fighting for ultimate control. And in the process Politicians, Wall Street, Big Banks and Big Pharma, and the Media are revealing their true nature.
Each of the three groups already have vast legitimate power bases nurtured and honed to perfection. But power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Politicians and Elected Officials – the power to make laws, establish taxes and go on television.
Wall Stree, Big Banking and Big Pharma – the power of unlimited $$$$$.
Media – Public Relations – the power to make or break anyone.
The current financial crisis is their opportunity to have it all.
But the current financial crisis has opened the gates of hell and allowed the average citizen to see what evil has lurked for a long time behind closed doors. And these three groups have now overplayed their hands because they’ve forgotten where they got their strengths in the first place—from 300,000,000+ Americans.
Even if you see this evil, why should you care? Because on a daily basis the average American is being abused by the hunger of these three groups.
And if we stand idly by we deserve what we’ve gotten and what we’re going to get. A form of slavery that’s insidious.
Seperately we can be bullied and pushed around by any of these three groups. We as Americans need to understand that we have the power to stop this. The power to take back what is ours; our lives and our country.
It’s been our complacency and laziness that gives these three groups such free reign.
What can we do?
1. We can turn off the news and the media. Look around and band together to discuss our problems on a local level. We’ll find we have more problems in common than we thought.
2. We can vote for politicians who will represent us and if they don’t, we vote them out of office. Or we go to Washington and remove them from office. And we find a way to stop lobbying, now.
3. Wall Street, Big Banking and Big Pharma are a little tougher but remember the American public controls almost 70% of the dollars spent in a year. On Wall Street our dollars are our votes. And if you own a few shares of stock then you have a say in how these giant corporations work.
We are not pawns. We are people.
In a democracy:
Why should 1% of the people own 35% of the wealth?
Why should 20% own 85% of the wealth?
Why should 80% of the people that hold 80% of the votes only have 15% of the wealth?
Plutarch said, “An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics.”
It is time we took back our country and established that everyone deserves a job, a living wage, health care and a roof over their heads.
Even if you have these things, if you fear losing them you are not a free man.
It is time.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Who Needs Foreign Terrorists When We’ve Got Foreign Lobbyists?
If you’ve read this blog in the past you know my views on lobbyists. They are parasites of the worst variety. Parasites sucking your representation right out of your elected representatives. Parasites sucking the honesty of politicians right out of Washington D.C. Parasites sucking democracy from a formerly free country.
Where does this end?
Now I read that Tyco International ($360K) and Siemens (A German conglomerate)-($1.3 million) are lobbying. Tyco is financially whining for more of the Homeland Security pie and extra Stimulus gravy (Specifically something Barrack Obama promised would not happen) and Siemens is pouring dollars on politicians for more defense spending, energy efficiency, federal housing matters, math and science education, Health information technology, privacy and security issues. Siemens-built power plants already supply one-third of North America’s electricity.
And our legal system allows this?
Isn’t it bad enough that American companies can spend dollars on politicians without getting foreign companies lining up at the dollar teat?
Lobbying and company campaign contributions are “bribery of American politicians one-step removed.” If you don’t believe it, correlate the companies that are getting tarp money with the companies that contributed to the election of senators and other elected officials.
Where does this end?
Now I read that Tyco International ($360K) and Siemens (A German conglomerate)-($1.3 million) are lobbying. Tyco is financially whining for more of the Homeland Security pie and extra Stimulus gravy (Specifically something Barrack Obama promised would not happen) and Siemens is pouring dollars on politicians for more defense spending, energy efficiency, federal housing matters, math and science education, Health information technology, privacy and security issues. Siemens-built power plants already supply one-third of North America’s electricity.
And our legal system allows this?
Isn’t it bad enough that American companies can spend dollars on politicians without getting foreign companies lining up at the dollar teat?
Lobbying and company campaign contributions are “bribery of American politicians one-step removed.” If you don’t believe it, correlate the companies that are getting tarp money with the companies that contributed to the election of senators and other elected officials.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes
There is no genius in life like the genius of energy and industry. – D.G. Mitchell
Falsehoods not only disagree with truths, but usually quarrel among themselves. – Daniel Webster
There is more to life than increasing its speed. – Mahandas K. Gandhi
Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water." - Swedish proverb
Tolerance is the positive and cordial effort to understand another’s beliefs, practices and habits without necessarily sharing or accepting them. – Joshua L. Liebman
Commonsense and good nature will do a lot to make the pilgrimage of life not too difficult. – W. Somerset Maugham
When an archer misses the mark he turns and looks for fault within himself. Failure to hit the bull’s-eye is never the fault of the target. To improve your aim improve yourself. – Gilbert Arland
Falsehoods not only disagree with truths, but usually quarrel among themselves. – Daniel Webster
There is more to life than increasing its speed. – Mahandas K. Gandhi
Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water." - Swedish proverb
Tolerance is the positive and cordial effort to understand another’s beliefs, practices and habits without necessarily sharing or accepting them. – Joshua L. Liebman
Commonsense and good nature will do a lot to make the pilgrimage of life not too difficult. – W. Somerset Maugham
When an archer misses the mark he turns and looks for fault within himself. Failure to hit the bull’s-eye is never the fault of the target. To improve your aim improve yourself. – Gilbert Arland
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes
An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics. - Plutarch
A man to be truly free must accept responsibilities. To be relieved of responsibility means to lose freedom and liberty. Thus it can come about that the real enemy of man can be the state. – C.T.A. Sparks, D.D.
As the essence of courage is to stake one’s life on a possibility, so the essence of faith is to believe that the possibility exists. – William Salter
Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact. – William James
Power intoxicates men. When a man is intoxicated by alcohol he can recover, but when intoxicated by power he seldom recovers. – James F. Byrnes
The trouble with worrying so much about your “security” in the future is that you feel so insecure in the present. – Harlan Miller
Fate often puts all the material for happiness and prosperity into a man’s hands just to see how miserable he can make himself with them. – Don Marquis
A man to be truly free must accept responsibilities. To be relieved of responsibility means to lose freedom and liberty. Thus it can come about that the real enemy of man can be the state. – C.T.A. Sparks, D.D.
As the essence of courage is to stake one’s life on a possibility, so the essence of faith is to believe that the possibility exists. – William Salter
Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact. – William James
Power intoxicates men. When a man is intoxicated by alcohol he can recover, but when intoxicated by power he seldom recovers. – James F. Byrnes
The trouble with worrying so much about your “security” in the future is that you feel so insecure in the present. – Harlan Miller
Fate often puts all the material for happiness and prosperity into a man’s hands just to see how miserable he can make himself with them. – Don Marquis
Friday, May 15, 2009
Eureka! - Little Debbie has Real Fig Newtons
At last I have found my holy grail - a Fig Newton that tastes like a Fig Newton used to taste before the food po-lice went on their unholy rampage.
We were walking through Publix when I glanced over at the Little Debbie endcap and there it was - "Little Debbie has a snack for you - Fig Bars (who needs a newton). And then the most beautiful words in a Fig Newton fanatics vocabulary - Original Recipe!
Could it be my quest was over? I approached cautiously for fear it was just a figment of my demented personality. I wanted to believe, but after so many psuedo newtons I just couldn't. I have become a fig newton cynic. After all, who could reach back into space and time and bring the past to life. Impossible.
But there it was - $1.79 for eight individually wrapped bars (net weight 12 Oz).
I was mesmerized. My wife finally slapped me (I'm sure she enjoyed it) snapping me from my trance. I quickly placed four boxes in the cart and my wife crossed her arms and I replaced three.
I could hardly wait until we reached the rear hatch of our Subaru to rip open the box and shove an entire bar into my mouth. I was so ravenous for the taste of an original fig newton that I didn't taste the first one. I had to clear my palate and open another and yes, it had the original newton flavor.
We ate the entire box on the spot. I retrieved all Publix had on the shelf, emptying our bank account, and we had an orgy of fig bars.
Dark Comedy strongly reccommends Little Debbie's Fig Bars. They are a delight. I believe this one move by Little Debbie has broken the back of our American Malaise. The stock market and property values will come back (it will take time of course)as America's transfat deficiency is broken. Americans can now debunk their funk and go back to living the good life. Long live the Fig Bar!
In recognition of their accomplishment I'm bringing back my fig bar elegy - The Trans-Fatty Two-Step.
For musician Henry Threadgill in appreciation of his energy and inspiration
Trans-Fatty Two-Step
It all started deep in the bowels of the Fig Newton factory. There among the complex equipment and laboratories worked an anonymous man, Mortimer Hitchcock. His job was to run one machine – the gas chromatograph. He toiled over the mass of glass tubing twelve hours a day, six days a week. Keeping it cleaned. Calibrated. Waiting for his opportunity.
Mortimer wore thick, round glasses that magnified his eyes and made him look a little like an intelligent English Garden vole.
After watching his favorite movie, On the Beach, for the 93rd time, he even named his machine. Matilda. He loved Matilda. Over time he endowed his gas chromatograph with human emotions and features. And any psychologist can tell you that technomorphism is a serious sign of the decay of mental hygiene.
It was not surprising Hitchcock had a little brain slippage as he had so little human contact. Mortimer always arrived at his small, isolated laboratory long before the other scientists. His olive-drab Neon was the last car to leave the parking lot. In fact most of the other employees thought his crumbling seven-year-old Neon must belong to a security guard as it seemed a permanent fixture of parking spot 438. Why always spot 438? It was Mortimer’s lucky number and he was adept at mathematical calculations. Numbers were so clean. The whole numbers had an integrity that stimulated Mortimer’s testicular tissues and raised his testosterone levels. In fact, with his work schedule, it was fortunate for Mortimer that he got off on whole numbers.
Even though some people might think M.E. Hitchcock had it made, there was frustration in his 84-hour workweek. Deep inside, Mortimer was an ambitious man.
Then one day, a routing tech stumbled into Mortimer Hitchcock’s lab carrying the vial that would change the world and Mortimer’s life forever. He signed the routing slip realizing he had worked for Fig Newton International for exactly 4,380 days. An auspicious number he shared with Matilda as he loaded the sample and caressed her beautiful bell-shaped glass ports.
Unfortunately what Mortimer had forgotten in his titillated state was that the gas chromatograph will accommodate fatty liquids, but only if they are first mixed with a specific quantity of New Dawn liquid detergent. And I suppose with Mortimer’s technomorphism raging he would have given anything to slip something into Matilda’s port.
So it came to pass that with double checks of every step and calibration and retesting, Mortimer completed his examination by 2:00 A.M. He couldn’t wait to look in his latest Chromatograph text to use the data in the complex mathematical tables. And when he refined his result and looked in the Manual of Garcia (or Garcia’s Guide as it’s known today) he was stunned by the result. Stunned and afraid he had discovered a terrible flaw in the Fig Newton. A flaw that could, in time, be fatal to the chronic consumer of Fig Newton’s. And even though Hitchcock was a scientist without any political affiliation, who had lost touch with reality in all its various forms and manifestations, he knew enough to understand his finding could prove disastrous to Fig Newton International (FNI). And a glorious field day for the legion of locusts that were the International Class Action Attorney’s Association (the ICAAA as you have already guessed has its headquarters in Canada).
Unable to bear the thought, he went back to the specimen and repeated the entire procedure. You see even though Mortimer Hitchcock was in love with Matilda, he had a serious Newton fixation as he felt compelled to support his company’s cookie. And by the twenty-third hour of his day, he was absolutely, positively sure he’d discovered a time bomb ticking in the soul of his favorite cookie – transfat.
And so Mortimer went to find the man who eleven-years before had last given him an employee evaluation. The man he assumed was still his immediate superior. He went into the administrative complex only to discover that his former boss was now a first vice president with an office next to that of the CEO. Not knowing exactly how to proceed he rode the only elevator, an express, to the 43rd floor.
And it happened, at that moment, the first vice president was waiting for the elevator and M.E. Hitchcock called out to him by name. The vice president didn’t recognize Mortimer, but he could see the distress in his eyes and he could read the "M.E. Hitchcock" on his nametag. Being a kind man and highly intuitive as unknown to him one of his testicles was in fact a functioning ovary, and the elevator was empty, he had Mr. Hitchcock share the ride down to the lobby. Mortimer, even though feeling aroused, understood as the floors whipped past in increments of whole numbers that the express would spill them into the lobby far too soon. So Hitchcock reached out, as any good technomorph would, and gently caressed the stop button. The elevator came to an immediate stop disorienting the vice president and before he could say, "What’s the meaning of this," Mortimer blurted it right out.
The first vice president was stunned by the news. You could have knocked him over with a Twinkie. But he was an excellent poker player and he immediately called Hitchcock’s bluff, "Show me."
Mortimer walked him across the street and down into the maze that was the R+D center. During the entire fifteen minutes they walked Mortimer never made a sound. The first vice president found Hitchcock’s ability to navigate unerringly through the maze reassuring. It enhanced his confidence that this awkward man knew what he was doing. Before they even reached the lab, the first vice president intuited that Hitchcock was telling him the truth.
The first vice president was overwhelmed by the gas chromatograph and the magnificent bell- shaped glass ports Mortimer caressed the entire time he was explaining the machinery. Mortimer proudly displayed his results and the acres of figures in Garcia’s Guide.
This meeting led to a secret report entitled, ‘It’s the Transfatty Acids, Stupid.’ Mortimer Hitchcock presented his report to the CEO of FNI in his office three days later causing great alarm and consternation on the 43rd floor.
Eventually Mortimer’s report led to a change in the formulation of the Fig Newton. And the CEO was proud there was no longer even a teensy, tiny amount of transfatty acid to besmirch their cookie.
Unfortunately what they didn’t count on and what consumers soon learned was the once-delectable Fig Newton, without TFA, now had the flavor of gritty fig preserve held together by two layers of cardboard.
And when sales of the pride of FNI dropped dramatically for the third quarter, there was panic in the accounting department. The following week information was leaked to the ICAAA that all the other cookies on the market still contained dangerous levels of the-now-dreaded transfat.
His report brought Mortimer Hitchcock the fame and fortune he craved. He got a promotion to become the head of quality control for FNI and a lucrative book deal for the story of TFA. He went on the Conan O’Brien show where thousands of women were drawn to his feral-English-Garden-vole good looks and his devilish sense of humor, which was in reality just incredibly poor timing. Oprah had to have him in the worst way (which we won’t be discussing) and have him on her show, where she called him a knight of nutrition and a friend of cookie lovers everywhere.
Unfortunately his discovery was not good for Mortimer Hitchcock’s peace of mind. But that did not mean he didn’t dream of far more glamorous machines and the magazine he wanted to start for technomorphs. But it was not to be, as one night while he dreamed that Matilda carried his unborn child, he woke in a sweat with the realization he had forgotten to use New Dawn liquid detergent to dilute the fatty liquid. He immediately hopped into his fire-engine red Ferrari and raced to parking place 438. He opened the doors of his former gas chromatograpy lab only to find it had fallen into disrepair and in a fever, he worked to reclaim Matilda for his own. He vowed never to desert her again for other more beguiling machines.
And the next morning when he pulled that fateful specimen from the freezer there was just enough liquid for one more test. He worked until Matilda’s tubing gleamed and her calibration was perfect. Only then did he reach for the specimen now thawed and awaiting him in his favorite test-tube rack. He understood as he fondled Matilda’s ports that there were bigger ports, but there were no more beautiful ports than Matilda’s. Because as even the most jaded technomorph will tell you, when it comes to ports, more than a mouthful is wasted.
When the results were in, he told Matilda he’d be back. He’d have his retribution on her current lab technician. And he would be sure to humiliate the tech in her presence and then he would fire his ass as he didn’t think he would be allowed to cut him deep.
He raced to his office where all the latest texts were displayed proudly in his magnificent library. It made him light-headed and weak at the knees to even enter this sanctuary. But there in black and white in Garcia’s Guide was the truth: Transfat was not the culprit.
Mortimer Hitchcock developed a second super-secret report within three days incriminating this new fat and there on the bottom of page 43 was a teensy, tiny footnote letting TFA off the hook. This report he presented to the CEO and the first vice president. But, as in the case with most things in the world today, once the lawyers and accountants had decided, it was too late to change. And as you well know, cookiephiles were left with a world of cookies that were barely edible.
The good news was ironic. Heart disease went down because eating fewer cookies meant you consumed far less of the other fatty acid that did cause heart disease. Just showing the world is indeed a strange and disturbing place.
And what of our knight of nutrition? Mortimer Hitchcock, with all his faults and idiosyncrasies was not a stupid man. He knew the truth and he was able to corner the market on TFA.
As income from cookie sales slid further into the dumpster, the sales and marketing department of FNI became more frantic to move cookies. So Mortimer slipped copies of his latest report to the managers of both departments. They of course knew from vast experience with the American consumer if they waited just eighteen months the fascination with deadly TFA would naturally wain. And so they started buying boxcars of TFA at prices that unknown to them were set directly by, you guessed it, Mortimer Hitchcock.
And the moral of the story: it’s not what happens that matters; it’s how you react to it. And of course Henry Threadgill and I hope there will be a retro-movement toward more flavorful Fig Newtons.
We were walking through Publix when I glanced over at the Little Debbie endcap and there it was - "Little Debbie has a snack for you - Fig Bars (who needs a newton). And then the most beautiful words in a Fig Newton fanatics vocabulary - Original Recipe!
Could it be my quest was over? I approached cautiously for fear it was just a figment of my demented personality. I wanted to believe, but after so many psuedo newtons I just couldn't. I have become a fig newton cynic. After all, who could reach back into space and time and bring the past to life. Impossible.
But there it was - $1.79 for eight individually wrapped bars (net weight 12 Oz).
I was mesmerized. My wife finally slapped me (I'm sure she enjoyed it) snapping me from my trance. I quickly placed four boxes in the cart and my wife crossed her arms and I replaced three.
I could hardly wait until we reached the rear hatch of our Subaru to rip open the box and shove an entire bar into my mouth. I was so ravenous for the taste of an original fig newton that I didn't taste the first one. I had to clear my palate and open another and yes, it had the original newton flavor.
We ate the entire box on the spot. I retrieved all Publix had on the shelf, emptying our bank account, and we had an orgy of fig bars.
Dark Comedy strongly reccommends Little Debbie's Fig Bars. They are a delight. I believe this one move by Little Debbie has broken the back of our American Malaise. The stock market and property values will come back (it will take time of course)as America's transfat deficiency is broken. Americans can now debunk their funk and go back to living the good life. Long live the Fig Bar!
In recognition of their accomplishment I'm bringing back my fig bar elegy - The Trans-Fatty Two-Step.
For musician Henry Threadgill in appreciation of his energy and inspiration
Trans-Fatty Two-Step
It all started deep in the bowels of the Fig Newton factory. There among the complex equipment and laboratories worked an anonymous man, Mortimer Hitchcock. His job was to run one machine – the gas chromatograph. He toiled over the mass of glass tubing twelve hours a day, six days a week. Keeping it cleaned. Calibrated. Waiting for his opportunity.
Mortimer wore thick, round glasses that magnified his eyes and made him look a little like an intelligent English Garden vole.
After watching his favorite movie, On the Beach, for the 93rd time, he even named his machine. Matilda. He loved Matilda. Over time he endowed his gas chromatograph with human emotions and features. And any psychologist can tell you that technomorphism is a serious sign of the decay of mental hygiene.
It was not surprising Hitchcock had a little brain slippage as he had so little human contact. Mortimer always arrived at his small, isolated laboratory long before the other scientists. His olive-drab Neon was the last car to leave the parking lot. In fact most of the other employees thought his crumbling seven-year-old Neon must belong to a security guard as it seemed a permanent fixture of parking spot 438. Why always spot 438? It was Mortimer’s lucky number and he was adept at mathematical calculations. Numbers were so clean. The whole numbers had an integrity that stimulated Mortimer’s testicular tissues and raised his testosterone levels. In fact, with his work schedule, it was fortunate for Mortimer that he got off on whole numbers.
Even though some people might think M.E. Hitchcock had it made, there was frustration in his 84-hour workweek. Deep inside, Mortimer was an ambitious man.
Then one day, a routing tech stumbled into Mortimer Hitchcock’s lab carrying the vial that would change the world and Mortimer’s life forever. He signed the routing slip realizing he had worked for Fig Newton International for exactly 4,380 days. An auspicious number he shared with Matilda as he loaded the sample and caressed her beautiful bell-shaped glass ports.
Unfortunately what Mortimer had forgotten in his titillated state was that the gas chromatograph will accommodate fatty liquids, but only if they are first mixed with a specific quantity of New Dawn liquid detergent. And I suppose with Mortimer’s technomorphism raging he would have given anything to slip something into Matilda’s port.
So it came to pass that with double checks of every step and calibration and retesting, Mortimer completed his examination by 2:00 A.M. He couldn’t wait to look in his latest Chromatograph text to use the data in the complex mathematical tables. And when he refined his result and looked in the Manual of Garcia (or Garcia’s Guide as it’s known today) he was stunned by the result. Stunned and afraid he had discovered a terrible flaw in the Fig Newton. A flaw that could, in time, be fatal to the chronic consumer of Fig Newton’s. And even though Hitchcock was a scientist without any political affiliation, who had lost touch with reality in all its various forms and manifestations, he knew enough to understand his finding could prove disastrous to Fig Newton International (FNI). And a glorious field day for the legion of locusts that were the International Class Action Attorney’s Association (the ICAAA as you have already guessed has its headquarters in Canada).
Unable to bear the thought, he went back to the specimen and repeated the entire procedure. You see even though Mortimer Hitchcock was in love with Matilda, he had a serious Newton fixation as he felt compelled to support his company’s cookie. And by the twenty-third hour of his day, he was absolutely, positively sure he’d discovered a time bomb ticking in the soul of his favorite cookie – transfat.
And so Mortimer went to find the man who eleven-years before had last given him an employee evaluation. The man he assumed was still his immediate superior. He went into the administrative complex only to discover that his former boss was now a first vice president with an office next to that of the CEO. Not knowing exactly how to proceed he rode the only elevator, an express, to the 43rd floor.
And it happened, at that moment, the first vice president was waiting for the elevator and M.E. Hitchcock called out to him by name. The vice president didn’t recognize Mortimer, but he could see the distress in his eyes and he could read the "M.E. Hitchcock" on his nametag. Being a kind man and highly intuitive as unknown to him one of his testicles was in fact a functioning ovary, and the elevator was empty, he had Mr. Hitchcock share the ride down to the lobby. Mortimer, even though feeling aroused, understood as the floors whipped past in increments of whole numbers that the express would spill them into the lobby far too soon. So Hitchcock reached out, as any good technomorph would, and gently caressed the stop button. The elevator came to an immediate stop disorienting the vice president and before he could say, "What’s the meaning of this," Mortimer blurted it right out.
The first vice president was stunned by the news. You could have knocked him over with a Twinkie. But he was an excellent poker player and he immediately called Hitchcock’s bluff, "Show me."
Mortimer walked him across the street and down into the maze that was the R+D center. During the entire fifteen minutes they walked Mortimer never made a sound. The first vice president found Hitchcock’s ability to navigate unerringly through the maze reassuring. It enhanced his confidence that this awkward man knew what he was doing. Before they even reached the lab, the first vice president intuited that Hitchcock was telling him the truth.
The first vice president was overwhelmed by the gas chromatograph and the magnificent bell- shaped glass ports Mortimer caressed the entire time he was explaining the machinery. Mortimer proudly displayed his results and the acres of figures in Garcia’s Guide.
This meeting led to a secret report entitled, ‘It’s the Transfatty Acids, Stupid.’ Mortimer Hitchcock presented his report to the CEO of FNI in his office three days later causing great alarm and consternation on the 43rd floor.
Eventually Mortimer’s report led to a change in the formulation of the Fig Newton. And the CEO was proud there was no longer even a teensy, tiny amount of transfatty acid to besmirch their cookie.
Unfortunately what they didn’t count on and what consumers soon learned was the once-delectable Fig Newton, without TFA, now had the flavor of gritty fig preserve held together by two layers of cardboard.
And when sales of the pride of FNI dropped dramatically for the third quarter, there was panic in the accounting department. The following week information was leaked to the ICAAA that all the other cookies on the market still contained dangerous levels of the-now-dreaded transfat.
His report brought Mortimer Hitchcock the fame and fortune he craved. He got a promotion to become the head of quality control for FNI and a lucrative book deal for the story of TFA. He went on the Conan O’Brien show where thousands of women were drawn to his feral-English-Garden-vole good looks and his devilish sense of humor, which was in reality just incredibly poor timing. Oprah had to have him in the worst way (which we won’t be discussing) and have him on her show, where she called him a knight of nutrition and a friend of cookie lovers everywhere.
Unfortunately his discovery was not good for Mortimer Hitchcock’s peace of mind. But that did not mean he didn’t dream of far more glamorous machines and the magazine he wanted to start for technomorphs. But it was not to be, as one night while he dreamed that Matilda carried his unborn child, he woke in a sweat with the realization he had forgotten to use New Dawn liquid detergent to dilute the fatty liquid. He immediately hopped into his fire-engine red Ferrari and raced to parking place 438. He opened the doors of his former gas chromatograpy lab only to find it had fallen into disrepair and in a fever, he worked to reclaim Matilda for his own. He vowed never to desert her again for other more beguiling machines.
And the next morning when he pulled that fateful specimen from the freezer there was just enough liquid for one more test. He worked until Matilda’s tubing gleamed and her calibration was perfect. Only then did he reach for the specimen now thawed and awaiting him in his favorite test-tube rack. He understood as he fondled Matilda’s ports that there were bigger ports, but there were no more beautiful ports than Matilda’s. Because as even the most jaded technomorph will tell you, when it comes to ports, more than a mouthful is wasted.
When the results were in, he told Matilda he’d be back. He’d have his retribution on her current lab technician. And he would be sure to humiliate the tech in her presence and then he would fire his ass as he didn’t think he would be allowed to cut him deep.
He raced to his office where all the latest texts were displayed proudly in his magnificent library. It made him light-headed and weak at the knees to even enter this sanctuary. But there in black and white in Garcia’s Guide was the truth: Transfat was not the culprit.
Mortimer Hitchcock developed a second super-secret report within three days incriminating this new fat and there on the bottom of page 43 was a teensy, tiny footnote letting TFA off the hook. This report he presented to the CEO and the first vice president. But, as in the case with most things in the world today, once the lawyers and accountants had decided, it was too late to change. And as you well know, cookiephiles were left with a world of cookies that were barely edible.
The good news was ironic. Heart disease went down because eating fewer cookies meant you consumed far less of the other fatty acid that did cause heart disease. Just showing the world is indeed a strange and disturbing place.
And what of our knight of nutrition? Mortimer Hitchcock, with all his faults and idiosyncrasies was not a stupid man. He knew the truth and he was able to corner the market on TFA.
As income from cookie sales slid further into the dumpster, the sales and marketing department of FNI became more frantic to move cookies. So Mortimer slipped copies of his latest report to the managers of both departments. They of course knew from vast experience with the American consumer if they waited just eighteen months the fascination with deadly TFA would naturally wain. And so they started buying boxcars of TFA at prices that unknown to them were set directly by, you guessed it, Mortimer Hitchcock.
And the moral of the story: it’s not what happens that matters; it’s how you react to it. And of course Henry Threadgill and I hope there will be a retro-movement toward more flavorful Fig Newtons.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Trip to Walmart
This was forwarded to me by a friend - Durry Garbutt
Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Obama Vs. Lobbyists
“They are not going to run my White House. And they won’t drown out the voices of the American people.” - Barrack Obama
The following information was copied from a website on ethics from President Obama:
“Barack Obama will centralize ethics and lobbying information for voters:
Obama and Biden will create a centralized Internet database of lobbying reports, ethics records, and campaign finance filings.
Require independent monitoring of lobbying laws and ethics rules:
Obama and Biden will fight for an independent watchdog agency to oversee the investigation of congressional ethics violations.
Close the revolving door on former and future employers:
No political appointees in an Obama-Biden administration will be permitted to work on regulations or contracts directly and substantially related to their prior employer for two years. And no political appointee will be able to lobby the executive branch after leaving government service during the remainder of the administration.”
I’m sure if you have read this blog before (see entries under Darkly Comical Politics as Usual) you know that I believe lobbying, as practiced in our government, is an embarrassment.
So far Barrack Obama has been working to fulfill his campaign promises on lobbying.
“In March Obama barred lobbyists from talking to administration officials about specific stimulus projects.”
The rules are being applied inconsistently and departments are reporting few such communications. The White House says that if lobbyists are being restrained that’s just what they had in mind.
We’re hoping that policies restricting lobbying will continue to bloom in the new soil of this new administration.
The following information was copied from a website on ethics from President Obama:
“Barack Obama will centralize ethics and lobbying information for voters:
Obama and Biden will create a centralized Internet database of lobbying reports, ethics records, and campaign finance filings.
Require independent monitoring of lobbying laws and ethics rules:
Obama and Biden will fight for an independent watchdog agency to oversee the investigation of congressional ethics violations.
Close the revolving door on former and future employers:
No political appointees in an Obama-Biden administration will be permitted to work on regulations or contracts directly and substantially related to their prior employer for two years. And no political appointee will be able to lobby the executive branch after leaving government service during the remainder of the administration.”
I’m sure if you have read this blog before (see entries under Darkly Comical Politics as Usual) you know that I believe lobbying, as practiced in our government, is an embarrassment.
So far Barrack Obama has been working to fulfill his campaign promises on lobbying.
“In March Obama barred lobbyists from talking to administration officials about specific stimulus projects.”
The rules are being applied inconsistently and departments are reporting few such communications. The White House says that if lobbyists are being restrained that’s just what they had in mind.
We’re hoping that policies restricting lobbying will continue to bloom in the new soil of this new administration.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes
The product that will not sell without advertising, will not sell profitably with advertising. – Albert Lasker
Try to put well in practice what you already know; and in so doing, you will, in good time, discover the hidden things you now inquire about. Practice what you know, and it will help to make clear what now you do not know. – Rembrandt
The man who has not learned to say “No” will be a weak if not a wretched man as long as he lives. – A Maclaren
It is better to go down on the great seas which human hearts are made to sail than to rot at the wharves in ignoble anchorage. – Hamilton Wright Mabie
Activity back of a small idea will produce more than inactivity and the planning of genius. – James A. Worsham
The expectations of life depend upon diligence; the mechanic that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools. – Confucius
Stomachs shouldn’t be waist baskets. – P.K. Thomajan
Try to put well in practice what you already know; and in so doing, you will, in good time, discover the hidden things you now inquire about. Practice what you know, and it will help to make clear what now you do not know. – Rembrandt
The man who has not learned to say “No” will be a weak if not a wretched man as long as he lives. – A Maclaren
It is better to go down on the great seas which human hearts are made to sail than to rot at the wharves in ignoble anchorage. – Hamilton Wright Mabie
Activity back of a small idea will produce more than inactivity and the planning of genius. – James A. Worsham
The expectations of life depend upon diligence; the mechanic that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools. – Confucius
Stomachs shouldn’t be waist baskets. – P.K. Thomajan
Monday, May 11, 2009
How Banks and Elected Representatives Are Destroying Your Small Business
The U.S. government cannot even define a small business effectively.
The SBA (Small Business Administration) sees a small business as:
“500 or fewer employees for most manufacturing and mining industries”
“100 or fewer employees for all wholesale trade industries”
“$6 million per year in sales receipts for most retail and service industries (with some exceptions)”
The SBA for the most part has it wrong.
A definition I like is: Any activity that provides full or part time income for any independent individual is a small business.
In other words a small business definition must be inclusive because most small businesses started as an idea in the mind of one person.
And the good businesses develop from there. Even Coca Cola started as an idea in the mind of one person.
What the SBA and elected representatives don’t seem to understand is that small businesses are the strength of our nation and the future of our country.
Here are the statistics they need to read and understand:
1. Small businesses produce 50% of our GDP.
2. Small businesses employ more than half of all private sector workers.
3. In the last decade small businesses have created close to 100% of all new jobs.
Small businesses are the most vibrant enterprises in the country.
I bet by my definition you own your own business. And I bet that it’s important to you. And I bet you’d like to see it survive, grow and prosper.
I also bet that since this banking crisis has started that a commodity you need desperately to grow your business has become tougher (if not impossible) to get and if you can get it, it’s more expensive. I’m talking about money. Cash.
Specifically money in the form of credit (lines of credit and credit cards have been hit expecially hard).
Money is the commodity that grows your idea into a business that hires people. Isn’t that what it’s going to take to get out of this mess; good ideas that lead to small businesses that lead to growth that lead to jobs. And cash is the commodity that allows the tiny business to leverage itself into the business that hires employees and builds this nation.
And what did our government do? They showered $700 billion plus on a few large businesses. Their goal, to provide liquidity in the system. Frankly I’m not seeing it. Our small business uses a line of credit on our home and when times are tight, our credit cards.
Our bank blocked our line of credit even though we have great credit and Discover sent us a letter saying they were going to boost our interest rate somewhere into the sky even though banks are getting money from the Federal Reserve at 0%-.25%. We had them close our Discover account.
The federal government established TALF (term asset-backed lending facility) to make consumer and small business loans more widely available by securitizing loans. I don’t entirely understand this process but it reduces the lenders’ costs and risks.
It’s not working. Today the securitization market for loans is 80% below what it was in 2007. And I doubt if we could walk into a bank and get a loan.
I believe small businesses are the economic strength of our nation. And I believe too big to fail means that money is going into the wrong hands. Money has to circulate and yet it’s stalled in the hands of the banks.
So 50% of the GDP and virtually 100% of the job creators are jammed up. Can’t the government see that this is not a problem; it is the problem.
My wife and I have been in small businesses since 1973 and we have never defaulted on any loan or payment in 35 years and yet we can’t expand as banks have new criteria for loaning money. Historically the criteria was: If you don’t need money, we’ve got it. Now it’s: I don’t care that you’ve had the same accounts for 30+ years and never missed a payment; you’re not credit worthy.
The SBA (Small Business Administration) sees a small business as:
“500 or fewer employees for most manufacturing and mining industries”
“100 or fewer employees for all wholesale trade industries”
“$6 million per year in sales receipts for most retail and service industries (with some exceptions)”
The SBA for the most part has it wrong.
A definition I like is: Any activity that provides full or part time income for any independent individual is a small business.
In other words a small business definition must be inclusive because most small businesses started as an idea in the mind of one person.
And the good businesses develop from there. Even Coca Cola started as an idea in the mind of one person.
What the SBA and elected representatives don’t seem to understand is that small businesses are the strength of our nation and the future of our country.
Here are the statistics they need to read and understand:
1. Small businesses produce 50% of our GDP.
2. Small businesses employ more than half of all private sector workers.
3. In the last decade small businesses have created close to 100% of all new jobs.
Small businesses are the most vibrant enterprises in the country.
I bet by my definition you own your own business. And I bet that it’s important to you. And I bet you’d like to see it survive, grow and prosper.
I also bet that since this banking crisis has started that a commodity you need desperately to grow your business has become tougher (if not impossible) to get and if you can get it, it’s more expensive. I’m talking about money. Cash.
Specifically money in the form of credit (lines of credit and credit cards have been hit expecially hard).
Money is the commodity that grows your idea into a business that hires people. Isn’t that what it’s going to take to get out of this mess; good ideas that lead to small businesses that lead to growth that lead to jobs. And cash is the commodity that allows the tiny business to leverage itself into the business that hires employees and builds this nation.
And what did our government do? They showered $700 billion plus on a few large businesses. Their goal, to provide liquidity in the system. Frankly I’m not seeing it. Our small business uses a line of credit on our home and when times are tight, our credit cards.
Our bank blocked our line of credit even though we have great credit and Discover sent us a letter saying they were going to boost our interest rate somewhere into the sky even though banks are getting money from the Federal Reserve at 0%-.25%. We had them close our Discover account.
The federal government established TALF (term asset-backed lending facility) to make consumer and small business loans more widely available by securitizing loans. I don’t entirely understand this process but it reduces the lenders’ costs and risks.
It’s not working. Today the securitization market for loans is 80% below what it was in 2007. And I doubt if we could walk into a bank and get a loan.
I believe small businesses are the economic strength of our nation. And I believe too big to fail means that money is going into the wrong hands. Money has to circulate and yet it’s stalled in the hands of the banks.
So 50% of the GDP and virtually 100% of the job creators are jammed up. Can’t the government see that this is not a problem; it is the problem.
My wife and I have been in small businesses since 1973 and we have never defaulted on any loan or payment in 35 years and yet we can’t expand as banks have new criteria for loaning money. Historically the criteria was: If you don’t need money, we’ve got it. Now it’s: I don’t care that you’ve had the same accounts for 30+ years and never missed a payment; you’re not credit worthy.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes
Time stays long enough for anyone who will use it. – Leonardo
The best way to keep good acts in memory is to refresh them with new. – Cato
Behind an able man there are always other able men. – Chinese Proverb
Happy is he who has laid up in his youth, and held fast in all fortune, a genuine and passionate love for reading. – Rufus Choate
We are born for cooperation, as are the feet, the hands, the eyelids and upper and lower jaws. – Marcus Aurelius
What a folly it is to dread the thought of throwing away life at once, and yet have no regard to throwing it away by parcels and piecemeal. – J. Howe
Use your gifts faithfully, and they shall be enlarged; practice what you know, and you shall attain to higher knowledge. – Arnold
The best way to keep good acts in memory is to refresh them with new. – Cato
Behind an able man there are always other able men. – Chinese Proverb
Happy is he who has laid up in his youth, and held fast in all fortune, a genuine and passionate love for reading. – Rufus Choate
We are born for cooperation, as are the feet, the hands, the eyelids and upper and lower jaws. – Marcus Aurelius
What a folly it is to dread the thought of throwing away life at once, and yet have no regard to throwing it away by parcels and piecemeal. – J. Howe
Use your gifts faithfully, and they shall be enlarged; practice what you know, and you shall attain to higher knowledge. – Arnold
Friday, May 8, 2009
The Devil is an American Lobbyist
Five Buzzards at a two-buzzard meal
Bribe: noun. Anything given or serving to persuade or induce. Verb. To influence or corrupt by a bribe.
Lobby: n. A group of persons who work to conduct a campaign to influence members of a legislative body. V. To solicit or try to influence members of a legislature.
Lobbyist: A person who tries to influence legislation on behalf of a special interest.
If money is given to a political candidate or an office-holding politician before, during or after being contacted by a lobbyist for that organization, then the candidate or elected official has been bribed for services rendered or some service implied to be rendered in the future.
If an individual or organization gives money to both political parties or candidates running for the same office then they are, by caveat, guilty of bribery.
I have been railing against lobbyists for some time. Our system of lobbying is vile and corrupt.
There’s new evidence that lobbyists have fresh meat in their sites.
1. The new emergency-lending bill for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan is a choice morsel for the American lobby. Politicians and lobbyists are constantly looking to climb aboard the next gravy train and this looks like a big one. At least politicians are elected by voters. Lobbyists are paid to be devil’s advocates for the highest bidder.
President Obama, the new sheriff, has said he wants to keep his 83 billion-dollar request free of unrelated add-ons.
Fat chance.
2. Insurance companies and their lobbyists are working behind the scenes for a simple but lucrative change in insurance laws. Lucrative for them.
An obscure change in federal law could be worth billions to insurance companies and screw the owner of every insurance policy in the United States until hell freezes over or the next civil war.
Key lawmakers and Obama administration officials say they’re open to it. So if you pay any dollars for any type insurance this will have a negative effect on you.
Known as an “Optional Federal Charter” the new system would free large insurers to escape state insurance regulators by setting up a new federal agency. In other words, a set of national rules for insurers would be established. The insurance industry would then have the “option” of following the state or federal rule whichever they prefer (obviously the more lenient and the one that suited them financially).
This system would allow insurance companies to shop around for the weakest rules. Today the sheep (you and me) are protected by state insurance regulators. Insurance regulators are there to prevent fraud and protect citizens. Do you want your elected representatives to become impotent in protecting you from giant insurance companies who have no soul and whose only god is profitability?
I’m sure the people who are lobbyists would look at these posts as one sided. And I’m sure they would say lobbyists do a lot of good. But for whom? Is it good for you or the fat cats and corporations who can afford to influence politicians by campaign contributions and spending big bucks on active lobbying?
Once elected a politician’s goal is to get re-elected and there’s no better way than to have a fat purse filled with silver from the fat cats and corporations who will actually buy their votes.
Write your president and every representative. Stop lobbyists now before it’s too late.
Bribe: noun. Anything given or serving to persuade or induce. Verb. To influence or corrupt by a bribe.
Lobby: n. A group of persons who work to conduct a campaign to influence members of a legislative body. V. To solicit or try to influence members of a legislature.
Lobbyist: A person who tries to influence legislation on behalf of a special interest.
If money is given to a political candidate or an office-holding politician before, during or after being contacted by a lobbyist for that organization, then the candidate or elected official has been bribed for services rendered or some service implied to be rendered in the future.
If an individual or organization gives money to both political parties or candidates running for the same office then they are, by caveat, guilty of bribery.
I have been railing against lobbyists for some time. Our system of lobbying is vile and corrupt.
There’s new evidence that lobbyists have fresh meat in their sites.
1. The new emergency-lending bill for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan is a choice morsel for the American lobby. Politicians and lobbyists are constantly looking to climb aboard the next gravy train and this looks like a big one. At least politicians are elected by voters. Lobbyists are paid to be devil’s advocates for the highest bidder.
President Obama, the new sheriff, has said he wants to keep his 83 billion-dollar request free of unrelated add-ons.
Fat chance.
2. Insurance companies and their lobbyists are working behind the scenes for a simple but lucrative change in insurance laws. Lucrative for them.
An obscure change in federal law could be worth billions to insurance companies and screw the owner of every insurance policy in the United States until hell freezes over or the next civil war.
Key lawmakers and Obama administration officials say they’re open to it. So if you pay any dollars for any type insurance this will have a negative effect on you.
Known as an “Optional Federal Charter” the new system would free large insurers to escape state insurance regulators by setting up a new federal agency. In other words, a set of national rules for insurers would be established. The insurance industry would then have the “option” of following the state or federal rule whichever they prefer (obviously the more lenient and the one that suited them financially).
This system would allow insurance companies to shop around for the weakest rules. Today the sheep (you and me) are protected by state insurance regulators. Insurance regulators are there to prevent fraud and protect citizens. Do you want your elected representatives to become impotent in protecting you from giant insurance companies who have no soul and whose only god is profitability?
I’m sure the people who are lobbyists would look at these posts as one sided. And I’m sure they would say lobbyists do a lot of good. But for whom? Is it good for you or the fat cats and corporations who can afford to influence politicians by campaign contributions and spending big bucks on active lobbying?
Once elected a politician’s goal is to get re-elected and there’s no better way than to have a fat purse filled with silver from the fat cats and corporations who will actually buy their votes.
Write your president and every representative. Stop lobbyists now before it’s too late.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes
The idea shared by many that life is a vale of tears is just as false as the idea shared by the great majority, the idea to which youth and health and riches incline you, that life is a place of entertainment. – Tolstoi
Wherever a man goes to dwell, his character goes with him. – African Proverb
Talk happiness. The world is sad enough without your woe. – Orison Swett Marden
Some people bear three kinds of trouble—all they ever had, all they have now, and all they expect to have. – Edward E. Hale
Ideas are the root of creation. – Ernest Dimnet
There is little that can withstand a man who can conquer himself. – Louis XIV
Think wrongly, if you please; but in all cases think for yourself. - Lessing
Wherever a man goes to dwell, his character goes with him. – African Proverb
Talk happiness. The world is sad enough without your woe. – Orison Swett Marden
Some people bear three kinds of trouble—all they ever had, all they have now, and all they expect to have. – Edward E. Hale
Ideas are the root of creation. – Ernest Dimnet
There is little that can withstand a man who can conquer himself. – Louis XIV
Think wrongly, if you please; but in all cases think for yourself. - Lessing
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes
Remember what Simonides said—that he never repented that he had held his tongue, but often that he had spoken. – Plutarch
The habit of saving is itself an education; it fosters every virtue, teaches self-denial, cultivates the sense of order, trains to forethought, and so broadens the mind. – T.T. Munger
Truly there is a tide in the affairs of men; but there is no gulf stream setting forever in one direction. - James Russell Lowell
Not what we have, but what we use, not what we see, but what we choose, these are the things that mar or bless the sum of human happiness. – Joseph Fort Newton
Failures inspire pity, seldom admiration. The streets of the city of Failure are paved with alibis—some of which are absolutely perfect. – Harry A. Earnshaw
No man can deliver the goods if his heart is heavier than the load. – Frank Irving Fletcher
There is no dependence that can be sure but a dependence upon one’s self. – John Gay
People who cannot find time for recreation are obliged sooner or later to find the time for illness. – John Wanamaker
The habit of saving is itself an education; it fosters every virtue, teaches self-denial, cultivates the sense of order, trains to forethought, and so broadens the mind. – T.T. Munger
Truly there is a tide in the affairs of men; but there is no gulf stream setting forever in one direction. - James Russell Lowell
Not what we have, but what we use, not what we see, but what we choose, these are the things that mar or bless the sum of human happiness. – Joseph Fort Newton
Failures inspire pity, seldom admiration. The streets of the city of Failure are paved with alibis—some of which are absolutely perfect. – Harry A. Earnshaw
No man can deliver the goods if his heart is heavier than the load. – Frank Irving Fletcher
There is no dependence that can be sure but a dependence upon one’s self. – John Gay
People who cannot find time for recreation are obliged sooner or later to find the time for illness. – John Wanamaker
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes
Do not wait for extraordinary circumstances to do good; try to use ordinary situations. – Richter
Do you know the ready concession of minor points is a part of the grace of life? – Henry Harland
Only those are fit to live who are not afraid to die. – General Douglas MacArthur
Statistics are no substitute for judgment. – Henry Clay
The empires of the future are the empires of the mind. – Winston Churchill
If money is all that a man makes, then he will be poor- poor in happiness, poor in all that makes life worth living. - Herbert N. Casson
The first man gets the oyster; the second man gets the shell. – Andrew Carnegie
Wisdom is the power that enables us to use knowledge for the benefit of ourselves and others. – Thomas J. Watson
You will find it less easy to uproot faults than to choke them by gaining virtues. Do not think of your faults, still less of others faults. In every person who comes near you look for what is good and strong; and your faults will drop off like dead leaves when their time comes. – Ruskin
We win half the battle when we make up our minds to take the world as we find it, including the thorns. – Orison S. Marden
Do you know the ready concession of minor points is a part of the grace of life? – Henry Harland
Only those are fit to live who are not afraid to die. – General Douglas MacArthur
Statistics are no substitute for judgment. – Henry Clay
The empires of the future are the empires of the mind. – Winston Churchill
If money is all that a man makes, then he will be poor- poor in happiness, poor in all that makes life worth living. - Herbert N. Casson
The first man gets the oyster; the second man gets the shell. – Andrew Carnegie
Wisdom is the power that enables us to use knowledge for the benefit of ourselves and others. – Thomas J. Watson
You will find it less easy to uproot faults than to choke them by gaining virtues. Do not think of your faults, still less of others faults. In every person who comes near you look for what is good and strong; and your faults will drop off like dead leaves when their time comes. – Ruskin
We win half the battle when we make up our minds to take the world as we find it, including the thorns. – Orison S. Marden
Monday, May 4, 2009
Why Fear Terrorists When We’ve Got Senators?
February 17th and April 9th I posted entries on lobbying and our housing crisis. Lobbying is back in the news. The next five paragraphs were taken from my previous entries.
Bribe: noun. Anything given or serving to persuade or induce. Verb. To influence or corrupt by a bribe.
Lobby: n. A group of persons who work to conduct a campaign to influence members of a legislative body. V. To solicit or try to influence members of a legislature.
Lobbyist: A person who tries to influence legislation on behalf of a special interest.
If money is given to a political candidate or an office-holding politician before, during or after being contacted by a lobbyist for that organization, then the candidate or elected official has been bribed for services rendered or some service implied to be rendered in the future.
If an individual or organization gives money to both political parties or candidates running for the same office then they are, by caveat, guilty of bribery.
Forbes magazine listed senators who received the highest share of their campaign contributions from the finance, insurance and real estate industries over the last five years. Here are the top four:
Chris Dodd (Democrat – Conn) $9million – 35%+
Richard Selby (Republican – Al) $2.5 million – 33%+
Charles Shumer (Democrat – N.Y.) $3.3 million – 32%+
Tom Carper (Democrat – De.) $1.5 million – 32%+_
These are examples of senators who I believe have allowed themselves to be purchased and represent corporations and industries as opposed to the people who voted them into office.
Chris Dodd and Richard Selby are the ranking democrat and republican on the Banking, Housing and Urban Affairs Committee. Yet they are receiving lots of dollars from these groups. Don’t they recognize that this smacks of corruption? If you were an inspector of meat and you allowed the company whose meat you inspected to supply you with cash would this be evidence of fraud?
The Consumer Education Foundation (a California based non-profit, non-partisan consumer research, education and advocacy program) published a document entitled “Sold Out: How Wall Street and Washington Betrayed America.”
In the article (231 pages long) they make the case that many of our financial problems are a “result of bad behavior on Wall Street and the corrupt connection between the powerful moneyed interests and those who make policy in Washington D.C.”
In this article they blame the decision-makers on Wall Street of:
1. Engaging in unconscionable predatory lending that offered huge profits, but led to extreme consequences when the loans were unpayable.
2. Consistently undermined financial regulation programs to benefit their Wall Street firms.
Over the last decade financial firms political campaign contributions and lobbying investments exceeded $5 billion to purchase political influence to gain the political power to undermine regulation and pave the way for favorable treatment in Washington.
$3.4 Billion of this money went to hire lobbyists. The financial sector employed 2,997 lobbyists in 2007. One hundred and forty two of these individuals were previously high-ranking officials or employees in the Executive Branch or Congress. Who better to understand and influence Washington’s wheels of power? Who better to call in political favors from friends and their peers – other elected officials.
One example of the erosion of regulation brought about by financial companies through political influence:
“In 1975, the Security and Exchange Commission trading and marketing division promulgated a rule requiring investment banks to maintain a debt-to-net capital ratio of less than 12-to-1. It forbid trading in securities if the ratio reached or exceeded 12 to 1.”
This rule was subverted in 2004 (led by Goldman Sachs – the top investment bank in the US and their chairman at the time - Henry Paulson – the name should sound familiar) and authorized investment banks to “develop their own net capital requirements.” Meaning they could leverage themselves to infinity and beyond with no oversight.
A second example: “In 2003, during the height of the predatory lending crisis, the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency invoked a clause from the 1863 National Bank Act to issue formal opinions preempting all state predatory lending laws, thereby rendering them inoperative. How many laws from the Civil War era rear their ugly heads to effect so many Americans? In fact this one law may cause ten times more Americans to lose their homes than lost their lives in the Civil War.
And so 400+ companies (most in the financial and insurance industries) have received tarp money from our politicians who have been subverted by campaign contributions and lobbying efforts.
On the John Stewart television program Elizabeth Warren (she heads the Congressional Oversight Panel responsible for watching over Tarp – the Troubled Asset Relief Program) stated that for every $100 of TARP money disbursed the government has gotten stock and warrants worth just $66 at the time of issuance. Warren went on to say that the value of those assets has deteriorated further since being issued.
Wouldn’t it be nice if you could use $5 billion dollars to get a program that will eventually bring your companies more than $700 billion in return? Imagine for one moment that I brought you a guaranteed investment that for every 66 cents you give me, I give you $1.00 in cash. That’s an instant 51.5% instant return (and that doesn’t cover the further deterioration of the troubled assets).
And now the Obama-backed anti-foreclosure bill has been voted down in the United States Senate.
Surprise, surprise, surprise.
The Democratic-controlled Senate defeated a plan to spare hundreds of thousands of homeowners from foreclosure. Banks lobbied aggressively against the bill.
“Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin of Illinois championed the bill and spent weeks negotiating with financial lobbyists in a bid to strike a deal.”
The question that seems obvious to me is: Why did Senator Durbin spend a moment negotiating with lobbyists? Shouldn’t he and president Obama (who claimed he strongly supported the bill) have been negotiating with the other Senators? And then the defeat got little publicity, as our politicians were conveniently moving on to the changes in credit card regulations. Meanwhile it’s common knowledge that the credit card companies are hammering consumers or what they in private call, “making hay while the sun shines.”
It seems there will always be more cake for the financial industry. First they get a $700 billion tarp bailout. Then they get 0-.25% interest from the federal reserve. And now they will get to feast on up to 8 million more home owners who will lose their homes because they will not be able to pay back their predatory lenders.
Our system of campaign contributions and lobbying is not only a national liability and an embarrassment but evidence of corruption in our capital.
Why should taxpayers bear the brunt of bailing out banks when their votes mean little in the greater scheme of things?
Why should Senators be able to take money from anyone for their influence?
Why should corporations be able to lobby when 50 million Americans with no health insurance carry so little weight in Washington while all our Congressmen and Senators and their families have the best health insurance money can buy with no preexisting conditions?
Why should we fear terrorists when we’ve got Senators?
If anyone out there can answer these questions, please reply.
Bribe: noun. Anything given or serving to persuade or induce. Verb. To influence or corrupt by a bribe.
Lobby: n. A group of persons who work to conduct a campaign to influence members of a legislative body. V. To solicit or try to influence members of a legislature.
Lobbyist: A person who tries to influence legislation on behalf of a special interest.
If money is given to a political candidate or an office-holding politician before, during or after being contacted by a lobbyist for that organization, then the candidate or elected official has been bribed for services rendered or some service implied to be rendered in the future.
If an individual or organization gives money to both political parties or candidates running for the same office then they are, by caveat, guilty of bribery.
Forbes magazine listed senators who received the highest share of their campaign contributions from the finance, insurance and real estate industries over the last five years. Here are the top four:
Chris Dodd (Democrat – Conn) $9million – 35%+
Richard Selby (Republican – Al) $2.5 million – 33%+
Charles Shumer (Democrat – N.Y.) $3.3 million – 32%+
Tom Carper (Democrat – De.) $1.5 million – 32%+_
These are examples of senators who I believe have allowed themselves to be purchased and represent corporations and industries as opposed to the people who voted them into office.
Chris Dodd and Richard Selby are the ranking democrat and republican on the Banking, Housing and Urban Affairs Committee. Yet they are receiving lots of dollars from these groups. Don’t they recognize that this smacks of corruption? If you were an inspector of meat and you allowed the company whose meat you inspected to supply you with cash would this be evidence of fraud?
The Consumer Education Foundation (a California based non-profit, non-partisan consumer research, education and advocacy program) published a document entitled “Sold Out: How Wall Street and Washington Betrayed America.”
In the article (231 pages long) they make the case that many of our financial problems are a “result of bad behavior on Wall Street and the corrupt connection between the powerful moneyed interests and those who make policy in Washington D.C.”
In this article they blame the decision-makers on Wall Street of:
1. Engaging in unconscionable predatory lending that offered huge profits, but led to extreme consequences when the loans were unpayable.
2. Consistently undermined financial regulation programs to benefit their Wall Street firms.
Over the last decade financial firms political campaign contributions and lobbying investments exceeded $5 billion to purchase political influence to gain the political power to undermine regulation and pave the way for favorable treatment in Washington.
$3.4 Billion of this money went to hire lobbyists. The financial sector employed 2,997 lobbyists in 2007. One hundred and forty two of these individuals were previously high-ranking officials or employees in the Executive Branch or Congress. Who better to understand and influence Washington’s wheels of power? Who better to call in political favors from friends and their peers – other elected officials.
One example of the erosion of regulation brought about by financial companies through political influence:
“In 1975, the Security and Exchange Commission trading and marketing division promulgated a rule requiring investment banks to maintain a debt-to-net capital ratio of less than 12-to-1. It forbid trading in securities if the ratio reached or exceeded 12 to 1.”
This rule was subverted in 2004 (led by Goldman Sachs – the top investment bank in the US and their chairman at the time - Henry Paulson – the name should sound familiar) and authorized investment banks to “develop their own net capital requirements.” Meaning they could leverage themselves to infinity and beyond with no oversight.
A second example: “In 2003, during the height of the predatory lending crisis, the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency invoked a clause from the 1863 National Bank Act to issue formal opinions preempting all state predatory lending laws, thereby rendering them inoperative. How many laws from the Civil War era rear their ugly heads to effect so many Americans? In fact this one law may cause ten times more Americans to lose their homes than lost their lives in the Civil War.
And so 400+ companies (most in the financial and insurance industries) have received tarp money from our politicians who have been subverted by campaign contributions and lobbying efforts.
On the John Stewart television program Elizabeth Warren (she heads the Congressional Oversight Panel responsible for watching over Tarp – the Troubled Asset Relief Program) stated that for every $100 of TARP money disbursed the government has gotten stock and warrants worth just $66 at the time of issuance. Warren went on to say that the value of those assets has deteriorated further since being issued.
Wouldn’t it be nice if you could use $5 billion dollars to get a program that will eventually bring your companies more than $700 billion in return? Imagine for one moment that I brought you a guaranteed investment that for every 66 cents you give me, I give you $1.00 in cash. That’s an instant 51.5% instant return (and that doesn’t cover the further deterioration of the troubled assets).
And now the Obama-backed anti-foreclosure bill has been voted down in the United States Senate.
Surprise, surprise, surprise.
The Democratic-controlled Senate defeated a plan to spare hundreds of thousands of homeowners from foreclosure. Banks lobbied aggressively against the bill.
“Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin of Illinois championed the bill and spent weeks negotiating with financial lobbyists in a bid to strike a deal.”
The question that seems obvious to me is: Why did Senator Durbin spend a moment negotiating with lobbyists? Shouldn’t he and president Obama (who claimed he strongly supported the bill) have been negotiating with the other Senators? And then the defeat got little publicity, as our politicians were conveniently moving on to the changes in credit card regulations. Meanwhile it’s common knowledge that the credit card companies are hammering consumers or what they in private call, “making hay while the sun shines.”
It seems there will always be more cake for the financial industry. First they get a $700 billion tarp bailout. Then they get 0-.25% interest from the federal reserve. And now they will get to feast on up to 8 million more home owners who will lose their homes because they will not be able to pay back their predatory lenders.
Our system of campaign contributions and lobbying is not only a national liability and an embarrassment but evidence of corruption in our capital.
Why should taxpayers bear the brunt of bailing out banks when their votes mean little in the greater scheme of things?
Why should Senators be able to take money from anyone for their influence?
Why should corporations be able to lobby when 50 million Americans with no health insurance carry so little weight in Washington while all our Congressmen and Senators and their families have the best health insurance money can buy with no preexisting conditions?
Why should we fear terrorists when we’ve got Senators?
If anyone out there can answer these questions, please reply.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes
A nail is driven out by another nail; habit is overcome by habit. – Erasmus
You never will be the person you can be if pressure, tension and discipline are taken out of your life. – Dr. James G. Bilkey
The old Quaker was right: “I expect to pass through life but once. If there is any kindness, or any good thing I can do to my fellow beings, let me do it now. I shall pass this way but once.” – W.C. Gannett
I place economy among the first and most important virtues, and public debt as the greatest of dangers. – We must make our choice between economy and liberty, or profusion and servitude. If we can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of caring for them, they will be happy. – Thomas Jefferson
People are generally better persuaded by the reasons which they have themselves discovered than by those which have come into the mind of others. – Pascal
Curses are like processions; they return to the place from which they came. – Ruffini
There are two things needed in these days; first, for rich men to find out how poor men live; and, second, for poor men to know how rich men work. – E. Atkinson
You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips. – Goldsmith
You never will be the person you can be if pressure, tension and discipline are taken out of your life. – Dr. James G. Bilkey
The old Quaker was right: “I expect to pass through life but once. If there is any kindness, or any good thing I can do to my fellow beings, let me do it now. I shall pass this way but once.” – W.C. Gannett
I place economy among the first and most important virtues, and public debt as the greatest of dangers. – We must make our choice between economy and liberty, or profusion and servitude. If we can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of caring for them, they will be happy. – Thomas Jefferson
People are generally better persuaded by the reasons which they have themselves discovered than by those which have come into the mind of others. – Pascal
Curses are like processions; they return to the place from which they came. – Ruffini
There are two things needed in these days; first, for rich men to find out how poor men live; and, second, for poor men to know how rich men work. – E. Atkinson
You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips. – Goldsmith
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes
Work your way up or rust your way out. – Holton
All mankind is divided into three classes: Those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move. – Arabian Proverb
Men who have attained things worth having in this world have worked while others idled, have persevered when others gave up in despair, have practiced early in life the valuable habits of self-denial, industry, and singleness of purpose. As a result, they enjoy in later life the success so often erroneously attributed to good luck. – Grenville Kleiser
Think of your own faults the first part of the night when you are awake, and the faults of others the latter part of the night when you are asleep. – Chinese Proverb
When a man has put a limit on what he will do, he has put a limit on what he can do. – Charles M. Schwab
We are all manufacturers—making good, making trouble or making excuses – H.V. Adolt
All mankind is divided into three classes: Those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move. – Arabian Proverb
Men who have attained things worth having in this world have worked while others idled, have persevered when others gave up in despair, have practiced early in life the valuable habits of self-denial, industry, and singleness of purpose. As a result, they enjoy in later life the success so often erroneously attributed to good luck. – Grenville Kleiser
Think of your own faults the first part of the night when you are awake, and the faults of others the latter part of the night when you are asleep. – Chinese Proverb
When a man has put a limit on what he will do, he has put a limit on what he can do. – Charles M. Schwab
We are all manufacturers—making good, making trouble or making excuses – H.V. Adolt
Friday, May 1, 2009
Darkly Comical Quotes
There is no dependence that can be sure but a dependence upon one’s self. – John Gay
You can’t live on amusement. It is the froth on water – an inch deep and then the mud. – G. MacDonald
A tree that affords thee shade, do not order it to be cut down. – Arabian Proverb
The successful producer of an article sells it for more than it cost him to make, and that’s his profit. But the customer buys it only because it is worth more to him than he pays for it, and that’s his profit. No one can long make a profit producing anything unless the customer makes a profit using it. – Samuel B. Pettengill
There is nothing that keeps longer than a middling fortune and nothing melts away sooner than a great one. Poverty treads on the heels of great and unexpected riches. – Bruyere
Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing. – Albert Einstein
The cynic never grows up, but commits intellectual suicide. – Dr. Charles Reynolds Brown
The best things in life are never rationed. Friendship, loyalty, love do not require coupons. – George T. Hewitt
You can’t live on amusement. It is the froth on water – an inch deep and then the mud. – G. MacDonald
A tree that affords thee shade, do not order it to be cut down. – Arabian Proverb
The successful producer of an article sells it for more than it cost him to make, and that’s his profit. But the customer buys it only because it is worth more to him than he pays for it, and that’s his profit. No one can long make a profit producing anything unless the customer makes a profit using it. – Samuel B. Pettengill
There is nothing that keeps longer than a middling fortune and nothing melts away sooner than a great one. Poverty treads on the heels of great and unexpected riches. – Bruyere
Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing. – Albert Einstein
The cynic never grows up, but commits intellectual suicide. – Dr. Charles Reynolds Brown
The best things in life are never rationed. Friendship, loyalty, love do not require coupons. – George T. Hewitt
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