You May Die of a Misprint

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I get my exercise acting as a pall-bearer to my friends who exercise. – Chauncey Depew

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. – Mark Twain

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking, and loving, you don’t actually live longer, it just seems longer. – Clement Freud

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. – Mark Twain

If American men are obsessed with money, American women are obsessed with weight. The men talk of gain, the women talk of loss, and I do not know which talk is the more boring. – Marya Mannes

A man is never drunk if he can lie on the floor without holding on. – Joe E. Lewis

My uncle was the town drunk – and we lived in Chicago. – George Gobel