She Can’t Wait to Disprove It

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To succeed with the opposite sex tell her you’re impotent. She can’t wait to disprove it. – Cary Grant

What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light. – Mark Twain

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he’s married. – H.L. Mencken

Husbands think we should know where everything is: like the uterus is a tracking device. He asks me, “Roseanne, do we have any Cheetos left?” Like he can’t go over to that sofa cushion and lift it himself. - Roseanne Barr

Women seem to be all right on bargains till it comes to picking out a husband. – Frank McKinney Hubbard

A husband is one who stands by you in troubles you wouldn’t have had if you hadn’t married him. – anonymous

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy – and Jill a rich widow. – Evan Esar