Confessing our Parents’ Shortcomings

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The chief contribution of Protstentism to human thought is its massive proof that God is a bore. – H.L. Mencken

The relation between psychiatrists and other kinds of lunatic is more or less the relation of a convex folly to a concave one. – Karl Kraus

A promiscuous person is someone who is getting more sex than you are. – Victor Lownes

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents’ shortcomings. – Laurence J. Peter

Psychotherapy: the theory that the patient will probably get well anyhow, and is certainly a damned ijjit. – H.L. Mencken

Punctuality is the virtue of the bored. – Evelyn Waugh

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. – Fred Allen

There is only one honest impulse at the bottom of Puritanism, and that is the impulse to punish the man with a superior capacity for happiness. – H.L. Mencken

About Publishers –
As repressed sadists are supposed to become policeman or butchers so those with irrational fear of life become publishers. – Cyril Connolly

You can lead a horticulture but you can’t make her think. – Dorothy Parker

I’ve been too **cking busy and vice versa. – Dorothy Parker

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Sacrificed to Expediency

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I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. – W.C. Fields

You can’t learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be sacrificed to expediency. – W. Somerset Maughm

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. – Mark Twain

I like persons better than principle and I like persons with no princibles better than anything at all. – Oscar Wilde.

All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income. – Samuel Butler

Progress celebrates Pyrrhic victories over nature and makes purses out of human skin. – Karl Kraus